mfh

Ayes, the extra weight is. It good for his hips or heart. I wish you the best on this.

Great. I do not remember what mine was called. Maybe Inca.

Thank you, fae. I think an altar is a lovely way to have a special place for us to remember our beloveds. I have photos also...refrigerator door, living room, etc. but this is a PLACE. And I agree, they bring comfort.

Karen, it is easy to flare into anger when we are newly bereaved. Loss is sort of like the universe has attacked us and we are vulnerable and that means on guard. So when someone says the wrong thing (something that on another occasion would not bother us) we become hypersensitive and react to it....frequently with anger. It is all part of the journey.

I hope today is a day of sharing and support for you.

Kay, that is a lot for him to lose but he will be healthier when it is done. You might check into Hill's Science Diet for Weight Loss. I am using that right now (Digestive version) until Bentley's diarrhea is totally gone without meds. We are getting there. Then I will go to homemade food. Hill's makes sure the nutrients are in the food...I resisted it but after research switched to it. They have lots of versions. Good for you for tackling this. Will he eat veggie treats....green beans soaked in low salt chicken broth, etc. It is pricey but temporary though it will take a long while to do it safely....... https://www.google.com/search?q=hill%27s+science+diet+weight+loss&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=np&source=hp#q=hill%27s+science+diet+weight+loss&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=np&tbm=shop

This is wonderful. I guess if I have a passion right now...and it is one Bill and I shared...it is to "wake up" which means a lot of silence and meditation woven into each day. The longest I ever spent in total silence is 8 days but I did do a 56 days Yoga retreat in 1980 and the vast majority of that was spent in silence. Not for everyone but important to me. Thank you for this, Anne. I have it bookmarked. She is truly a mentor to me.

Kay, you asked about the sculpture so I took a photo of it. It sits on my altar in my meditation room. The black sculpture is woman in meditation...I have always called it "thy will be done". She is sitting on a piece of deer skin that Bill brought home after we read the Soulskin, Sealskin chapter in Clarissa Pinkola Estes book (Woman Who Run With the Wolves) which is about women owning their voices and men supporting that. He tried, he said, to find seal skin but had to settle for deer skin. The starfish is one we found in Florida. Everything on this altar has meaning...and I change things out from time to time. The cross is from his casket, engraved with his name and birth/death dates and from the tree from which the monks made his casket. The white candle is from his funeral. I tried to find the circle sculpture on line so I could direct you to it but could not. It is at least 40 years old as I figured. A 70s thing. I will keep my eye open for one.

How much does Arlie have to lose?

Bentley had lots of wishes today on FB and at the farmers market and at an art exhibit I attended. He is sound asleep now. Thank you so much.

It is normal here to get our first snowfall in early October...does not last or amount to much more than a reminder that winter is approaching.

Kay, you do deserve to be pampered and that is what a pedicure is all about...pampering.

I do not remember the name of the sculpture. I have had it for more than 30 years or more.

It was a high of 45 here today, windy and rainy...and nearby snowy. Who knows tomorrow it might be worse or better. Ironically the weather does not bother me....I notice it but it is a non-issue...hot or cold, snowy or sunny. Though it is a bit harder to be blown around walking Bentley.

Oh, yes, I do know that....but, of course, with a cancer Dx I tend to think around that. I will give him a big hug from everyone. I took him to the art exhibit today and of course everyone is falling all over him and he just leans on them....cute.

Karen, I am so glad you are sharing your signs. I have had many since Bill died and many believe that dreams are visitations....which I love to think about.

Great minds run the same channel... Anne!

I smile, Anne, I posted that elsewhere this morning also...and we all know it is truth.

Good for you, Rita. When Bill died I wanted those records also and got them and then decided to put them in a box and someday toss them out. I, too, did not want to accept his death...that was a long time ago....March 27, 2010 and I look back and know that putting them away was a wise decision. I could not bring him back and that was my wish.

Thank you, Anne. Yes, he is 11 today. His energy and appetite are good. His weight is good. He has developed a heart murmur due to the change in viscosity of his blood as lymphocytes increase. I hope he feels this good for his 12th birthday but I do also know he may not see it. We, he and I, take one day at a time.

2003-2014

I saw this on Tom Zuba's site today. I happen to own one of these sculptures and from today forward...I will light a candle for all in this group when I meditate in the morning and afternoon.

At a friend's home....just past the next town....TODAY

Same here in Wisconsin...woke up to 36 degrees and rain and now at 10:20am it is all of 48. Winter is sneaking up on us.

Karen, I am so sorry for your loss and how sudden and shocking it is. I do understand families that do not share tears and pain openly....I grew up in one and have worked with many who come from these families in my practice over the years. As Marty said so well, you have an opportunity now to change that for your own sake and the sake of your children. I won't repeat what she said but I do hope you will read it a couple of times. Teaching your children that sharing tears and pain as well as joy is human and an act of strength is something for you to consider...so if someday they lose someone close as they certainly will...they have you and others to go to with their pain.

You can feel free to share all your pain and shock here...it is a very safe place for that and we are glad you came here.

Kay, I know we will all be hoping and praying that all goes well with this pregnancy. I am so happy for you.

Mary

Ai do know that feeling. The bottom fell out of your life and you are floundering as you deal with so much. Do you have a hobby or interest. I took up watercolor and it gave me a place to express feelings and distracted me when I needed distraction. This is tough stuff loaded with uncertainty and changing feelings.

Rita, I believe if you had medical power of attorney you have a right to the records. As his wife I would think you would also..but I am not sure of that. But I urge you to ask yourself what good will this be for you. You are already questioning that yourself. I did get my husband's records early on and frankly I have never looked at them

. Are you suggesting malpractice ? Do you have evidence? If that is the case you need an attorney. But it seems from what you are saying, and I may be wrong, that it is not about malpractice but more about wanting evidence that he was treated as well as he should have been...knowing also that perfect does not exist. Think hard about why you want to get them before you go forward. It could become a distraction from your healing journey.

I think you might consider forgetting the "supposed to" idea. Your feelings will shift a lot with grief. Consider letting go of the questioning and analysis. Notice your feelings but don't fuel them.

To know you will like The Power of Vulnerability, Anne. If you YouTube her name, she speaks about this book also.