dpodesta

I love to cook and have missed doing it for so many years as Karen did most of the cooking. Once I got through the not eating I have finally gotten back in to cooking and am haveing a blast doing it. It is hard doing for just two so if ever I could get a big group together it would be fun. Love always Derek

I am in the central time zone, it is 10:00 here Wendy, I am glad that I was ale to put a smile on your face. Have a good night. Love derek

Wow Wendy I am impressed I have been sitting here wtching the clock so that I could remind you about your meds. Very good I am proud of you. Have a good night. Love always Derek

It was different, I could tell a difference but I wasn't that bad. When I started getting off of them, I had already started skipping doses so I was already getting accustom to being off of them. Derek

He he, I don't have to go to work tomorrow nah nah nah naaah nah. Love Derek

It is funny to all be here at the same time.

I got on Efflexor soon after Karen died and was on it for about 9 months or so. I got off of it around the end of last year or the begining of this one. Around that time everything in me told me it was time to get off the medication so I talked to my doctor and she told me how to slowly get off of them. They did their job while I was on them and I am glad I had use of them. Love always Derek

Suzanne, If it is a mistake, ask for forgivness and He will grant it for you. Please keep us informed on your progress. Karen, I knew I would find someone again who had lost someone they were going to get married to but didn't before death. There is someone on this board named Lyn who was going to meet her love, however he died before they could meet and she has been having trouble knowing where she belongs on these boards. I told her that she is welcome here anytime and that there were people here that have experienced that. Lyn, I hope you don't mind but I had to share part of your story so you would have some peole to talk to who have been through what you have been through. I hope this hasn't been a breach of cofidentiality. Love Derek

Wendy, Good to see you tonight, go take your medications before you forget. Love Derek

Suzanne, I don't think that anyone would be offended by your choice, what you do is up to you. I myself question your descision. Through the years I have come to believe that mediums and such are not of God. I believe their so called powers come from elsewhere. I hope that this hasn't offended anyone, but I had to put my opinion out there. I hope the best for you. Love always Derek

I agree with you Bob, except that religion (or at least the one I am a part of) doesn't teach us that if we think good thoughts then good things will happen to us. Even the Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust. Like you, Karen and I would have never imagined that this would have happened at least not so soon in our lives. We lived a relatively good life trying to make the best of what was given us. Like you said, it is not what has happened to us it is how we choose to deal with it. We are responsible for oyr actions and I can choose to live and try and be happy, or I can choose to wallow in self pity whith doesn't help me or anyone else. I choose to live and try and make the best of what has happened to me. Love always Derek

The grouchyness can be a combination of both. You will have some anger over your loss which for me I took out on other people and the the lack of sleep on top of it just adds fuel to the fire. It is very difficult to maintian composure on top of everything else that you are feeling right now. It will get better, I just now started getting better and letting go of the anger and it had been 1 1/2 years for me. Do't use my time frame as a guage, some will get through this faster some slower just take your time. And find a doctor that will listen to you. Love always Derek

I agree, it is time to find another doctor. The firrst time I had problems with sleeping the doctor prescribed Ambien for me. After about 2 months and a sleep study they decided to put me on Trazodone which is a mild anti-depressant and they took me off of the ambien. They didn't want to leave me on the ambien long term where as the Trazodone had less reprocutions. A good doctor will look at all alternatives and will listen to you rather than brush it off and say what yours did. Especially if the doctor knew about your husband's death, that should ahve told him that you would need something short term to get you through this. Love Derek

Deb, I don't know how long it has been for you, but I remember going through that in the begining as well. It would be 1:00 or 2:00 before I would finally be able to fall asleep and then it would be hard for me to function during the day at work. On the weekends I would sleep until 10:00 or 11:00 depending how long until my son would wake me up wanting breakfast. What I had to do was get a prescription sleeping pill, that was the only way I was able to get to sleep at a decent hour. After awhile I was able to stop taking them. Only you can be the gauge of when to be concerned. I would say if it starts to be a danger to you, like you can't stay awake while driving then I would seek medical attention. The other thing you can try is an over the counter sleep aid. There is one brand that I like called "Simply Sleep". Even at 1 1/2 years there are still nights where I can't fall asleep and so I will take those. I hope this helps Love always Derek

Sounds like you will still need to add quite a few, I am sure it would be a big size gang. Derek

The potato salad sounds good and so does the prime rib, it has been years since I have had that. I used to make a mean brisket, but it has been years since I have done it. I am getting hungry thinking about it. Derek

Karen, you weren't an interuption. I know how you feel when it comes to being lost with conversations when you are gone for a day. When I was gone during camp and caame back I felt like I didn't know what was going on. Wendy, No problem, I would like to help in any way that I can. Love always Derek

Any one who can read it can join right on in. Lyn, How are you feeling tonight? Derek

Ok, what I want to know is why everyone has to meet at William's house and not mine? LOL Wendy, take your medication and get ready for bed. Love Derek

Yes Wendy I am proud of you. That is great to hear. I bet you feel better today don't you. Now let's see if you can do the same thing again tonight. Love always Derek

William, I know that it is difficult and that you are trying. You know that all of here care about you and don't want to see you in pain. Obviously forgetting your meds is going to cause you pain. Use some psycology when it comes to your meds, you know that you don't want to feel bad and that not taking your meds is going to make you feel bad. Try to remember that and maybe it will help you remember your meds. I take Previcide for heartburn now while this is a minor condition, the premice is the same. If I miss 1 or 2 doses of the medicine, I get severe heartburn from simple things like water. I will admit, that every now and then I forget, heck I forgot this weekend while at camp. When I forget I get heartburn that makes me miserable. And even though I only missed 1 dose, I had heartburn that very same day. I say this to make a point, I know in my mind that the medication will help me to stay feeling good so very seldom do I miss it now. Please try to find a way to remember to take them. Put them with your car or house keys, or put them somewhere you access every day, somewhere where you will remember. Love always Derek PS. If you don't I will let Wendy loose on you. Wendy, If you are reading this, have you taken yours today?

William, Glad to hear from you, speaking of doctors have you taken your meds today? Love always Derek

Erica, I remember those times where everything looks dreary and you don't have the strength to pray because you think why bother. I will pray for you, if I remember correctly you are in your 7th month, you are where I was at that point. I don't know why the 7th month is so hard other than my 7th month was around the same time period during the year with the major holiday season rapidly approaching its adds so much more to our grief. The holiday season for me has not been a good one since 1986 when my grandmother who lived with us all of my life died in early November. My parents had also gotten divorced earlier that same year. I was 16 at the time and my whole world had gone to He** in a hand basket. The holidays were always a depressing time for me. Anyway, I got off track, I am glad you are here and I will be here for you whenever you need someone to talk to. Love always Derek

Lyn, That is the attitude to take to get you out of the problem and into the solution that will get you to living again. It will be tough, but in the end it is worth it. Love always Derek

Very funny, I love your sense of humor. This kind of falls into the subject. I accept that this has happened and it is done and I can't change it. I don't like it but I accept it. Love always Derek