dpodesta

Chrissy, I know where you are coming from, I just lost my wife 7 weeks ago tommorow. Every Thursday is a bad day for me because it means yet another week has gone by since I have gotten to hug or kiss Karen, she was my life. I have a son who is going to turn 7 in June on the 2 month anversary which is very difficult for me. know in my heart that Karen knows how much I loved her just as I know your husband knew how much you loved him. I am asking the same questions you are right now and I don't have the answer other than God has a plan for us, and one day we will see the whole picture as he does and then we will understand.

I am 36 with a son that will turn 7 on June 6th, which will be the 2 month anversary of Karen's death. She had a heart attack as we were arriving at the hotel for vacation, there wasn't any warning signs and no previous history of heart problems. she was 45 and we were married for 11 years. So much has happened in the last 7 weeks sometimes I don't know which way is up. The last few days my mind has wandered to the future. Right now the only thing I see is getting my son through high school and college, but what is left afterwards? My hopes and dreams included both of us, but now there is one. It is like I have lost my identy, I don't know who I am anymore. I find it hard someetimes to look at her picture because she always had to most beaatiful smile. I am also one who usually shoves feeling deep inside so as to not have to feel. Right now I am so tired of feeling that knot in my stomach everyday, I love to eat, but I can't when that knot is there so I have lost 15 pounds that I don't need to lose in the last 7 weeks. Everyone that I have talked to so far has been older than me when they lost their spouse and their children much older. I am looking for some insight from someone my own age that has gone through this. Derek