R.Everit55

Thank you.  

The loss of my grandchildren has hit me harder than ever thought possible.  I’m seeing my therapist and also going to a group specifically for grandparents who lost grandchildren.  Hopefully it goes well.  

Thank you George.  Your words mean a lot.  

I feel like because I’m the man of this family that I should not be this pained and certainly not in this amount of tears.  Whether it’s right or not it is what it is.  I try to be strong for my son and family but the last few months it feels impossible.  That’s why I feel like I’m letting them down.  

Thank you all for your kind words.  

Thank you Marty.  I apologize if I sound redundant in my posts.  It’s just hard to find words.  

I want to say that my Mary was my entire world.  She put others above all else including herself.  She was a caretaker.  She loved with everything in her soul.  I want to trade places with her.  She didn’t deserve to be sick with multiple things.  She didn’t deserve to have ALS steal every little aspect of her life.  But it did NOT steal her heart and soul.  Up till the moment she passed in spite of not being able to talk or move or breathe on her own she still loved with everything she had in her.  January 9th will be three years since she was taken.  My heart is as shattered today as that night.  And losing four grandchildren since is utterly angering and heartbreaking.  It just plain hurts to no end.  My life will never be the same.  Not even close.  I guess my only solace is our grandchildren are with her in heaven.  Sometimes I don’t want to exist this way any longer.  Sometimes I just am positive that I’m going to fail this test.  Yes.  That’s what I think.  God is testing me.  Well I say enough is ENOUGH.  💔.  I thank god tho for my son DIL and nine year old Caleb and three month old Ryan.  But sometimes that’s not enough compared to all that’s been lost.  😔.  I don’t know why I’m posting this.  Just need to talk.  Thank you for listening.  My heart is broken.  

This was my angel girl gone way too soon.  And the black and white is my latest grandson who resembles Gracie so much. I miss my girl so much   💔.  And I miss my big boy Noah    

Here’s one part of my heart.  He’s looking a lot like Gracie and she should be here.  

Kay, the kids were over my place.  I just couldn’t participate. My heart wasn’t in it.  I tried to smile for Caleb and Ryan.  But it didn’t happen much.  Grampy let them down.  

Tom, I’m so sorry. 😔

Spent the day in bed with the pup crying.  My bride should be here.  My grandchildren should be here.  My heart is utterly broken 💔

Gracie was still a baby.  Full of hope and peace.  How to make sense of her loss is impossible.  Noah was 12.  The epitome of strength.  Still there’s no making sense.  My heart breaks daily. 

It hurts... so very badly.  💔😢

Losing children is unspeakably gut wrenching.  One wonders how to go on.  It’s unnatural to lose a child.  I’ve lost four grandchildren.  I have two left.  They are my reason for even getting up and breathing daily.  But I just am so broken.  😢

one of my reasons for breathing.  He resembles his big sister in heaven Gracie.  

Gentle hugs.  Whatever you are feeling is okay.  But go easy on yourself.  No time really heals the pain.  I’m sorry.  You’re in my thoughts and prayers. 

Butch

For my grandchildren.  I've loved you your whole life. Now I'm going to spend the rest of mine loving you and missing you. You shall live on in my heart. Never to be forgotten.  😢

Thank you dear Marty

I feel like my heart is in a million pieces.  I wish I could feel them with me.  

Speechless and heartbroken 😔💔

The holidays are quickly upon us.  My heart is broken.  I'm missing not only my sweet wife but Gracie and Noah so deeply.  Losing grandchildren is not the way life should go.  Losing a spouse isn't the way either so soon.  I don't want thanksgiving or Christmas to come.  I just don't.  My heart is broken.  💔😢

19 hours ago, TONY said:

I know how you feel and I am so sorry 😐🙁 IT really is so hard 

Hi Tony.  Thank you. Hugs. 

What ifs.  They kill.  😢

Thanks Marty

Yes Gin it's hard when we were so close to our loves but can't feel that now.  Hugs. 

It's so hard for me to feel her with me and hear her words.