R.Everit55

Thanks for your validation Marty.  I get that both joy and grief can happen at once.  I guess I just am overwhelmed and tired maybe is the word from coping with two different emotions.  I hold to look at all of my grandchildren including Noah's pictures and it gives me joy but makes me question how the Lord took away Noah and Lily and Lila.  I would have given my life if they could have survived.  Please forgive my ramblings.  Thank you for listening.  ❤️

I've suffered many losses- some before and some after losing my wife.  Time is something I don't feel I have to grief.  I try to find time and my heart gets overwhelmed even in therapy.  I have some close friends but they don't "get it".  I've been weeping a lot lately and I shouldn't be.  My latest grandson just came home.  

how can I be weeping with this face around.  I feel lost.  😪💔

Butch

Your words speak my soul. Thank you for understanding.  I wish none of us had to understand this pain.  

It's been 31.5 months since my beautiful Mary passes.  I find it so hard to find words to express pain and also to express sympathy to others.  Why are words so hard?  ?

Bless your heart.  You're not alone.  You're in a place we've all been in. And there are no words.  I'm feeling joy now and feel guilty for it.  But I ache for my wife because she's the one I need to share with.  I wish you peace and comfort.  

Butch

I've not felt such utter heartfelt joy.  This miracle baby boy like her sister Gracie has beat the odds.  Ryan looks so similar to Gracie.  He loves cuddles.  He loved his first bath at home.  He loves Grampy cuddles.  Caleb and Gracie adore him.  My heart is sad for obvious reasons of Noah not being here and Grammy Mary.  But my heart is so happy.  Our family deserve such joy.  

Look who got discharged home.  Little squishy face Ryan Noah.  We are over the moon.  

Here's Gracie bear. 

Good news.  My grandson has reached five pounds and will be coming home within the week.  We are all elated  finally good news for our family   

Thank you Mary Beth.  I didn't intentionally forget to say my parents in that list.  

Keep posting here.  You'll find great support.  ❤️

Mary Beth

I've also lost loved ones back to back.  My BIL and SIL.  Then my beloved wife.  Then my twin premature granddaughters.  And most recently my oldest grandson 12 yrs old.  I've had little time to process and grieve each death individually.  I care for my other grandson and granddaughter as my son and daughter in law are at the hospital with their premature son.  He's doing well though.  A miracle.  

I pray for you to be able to be given time and peace to grieve your multiple losses.  That's the only way we get through this journey.  

Love and peace to your heart

Butch

Hi and hugs Mary Beth.  I want to reply to your post but I am unable to right now.  I will when I can.  But you're not alone.  Believe me. 

Butch

Thought I'd share this peaceful and absolutely tender moment with Ryan Noah and his mommy.  ❤️

Ryan is gaining weight quickly and doing very well.  He's already beyond four lbs.  he needs to be at least five and pass the car seat tests to come home.  Gracie is as cute as ever and talking up a storm.  

Dave.   LOL.  ?

Ryan holding his own. ❤️  And Gracie after she put her yogurt in her hair. ?

I wanted all of you here to know my thoughts and prayers are with you are your journeys.  I read often even though I am quiet.  God bless.  ❤️

This sweet little bundle is why I smile today.  

Today is a difficult day.  I'm missing my wife so much.  It's going to be 31 months and yet it hurts like day one.  ??

AYoung

thank you so much for your very kind words of support.  

skin to skin with his daddy.  ❤️

Thank you

he needs to reach at least five pounds and be able to nurse regularly without swallowing issues.  He's off to a great start.  

My third grandson was born last night at 31 weeks.  He's 3lbs 2oz and doing great.  His name is Ryan Noah.  Honoring his big brother who is no longer with us.  Mom and Dad are thrilled with how well he's doing.  

I barely recall posting this thread Thursday  that's how lost I do truly feel.  I am in tears for all of the support by everyone.  You have grieving hearts.  God bless you all.  ❤️

Its been three and half months almost since Noah passed and reality just keeps slapping me in the face.  When I look at Caleb and Gracie it hurts because their big brother should be here.  And the baby coming in oct will never know Noah or Grammy Mary.  

My heart is just overwhelmed.  I'm going to a grief support group starting Thursday.  

i wasn't going to come here because words fail me.  I'm so lost.  Missing Mary and Noah immensely.  Been going through photos of her and of Noah growing up.  It's hard.  

ButchNoah was so happy to have a baby brother.   Caleb was "his baby".  Caleb misses him so much