iPraiseHim

1 hour ago, kayc said:

The gov't leaves much to be desired with it's customer service, not only soc sec but also IRS.  Ugh!

 

I'm dealing with this. Money was taken out of my SS retirement with no notice or warning. Called SS and was told it was an IRS action. Repeated calls to IRS and no one answers. Certified letters to IRS with no response. They have all the power and make the rules. However, I am persistent and will continue to pursue this issue. I'm preparing to escalate my efforts to get some resolution.  Never quit or give up. We still have ombudsmen, state/federal representatives, and other resources. Never give up, never give in. It is frustrating yet we can turn that frustration to determination to resolve these issues. - Shalom (Peace)

My sister has Covid. She is vaccinated and planned to get the booster this week.  She has moderate symptoms that are being managed with medications and rest.  Thankfully, her symptoms are weakness, congestion, and tiredness.  Our Christmas gathering is postponed for now. - Shalom (Peace)

Happy Anniversary, Rose Anne,

32 years ago. I still remember the day as if it was yesterday. I cherish every day with you. - Shalom (Peace)

Checking in:

It's been a busy summer. I replaced my garage door and lift. Cleaned it out and can now park my van inside. No more scraping ice, snow, etc.. and I can leave my cleaning supplies in my van now. I installed a new mailbox and have donated most of Rose Anne's clothes, shoes, bags, etc... It took me this long to get to it. Each person's timeline is different. I still miss her everyday. I doubt that will ever change. Working on taxes, more cleaning and repairing of my home. I am still working my business and able to function. Keep pressing forward to the mark set before us each day! - Shalom (Peace)

On 8/31/2021 at 3:55 AM, Rebecca34 said:

My lovely Dad died very suddenly and unexpectedly six weeks ago of a heart attack. He was 68. I am really struggling with the loss, we were very close and I would see him and speak to him every day. 

I’m 34 and my husband and I have been trying for a baby since January. We haven’t been successful as I have recently discovered I have some health problems which are not helping fertility.
 

I am so, so sad that if we’re ever fortunate enough to have a family, my Dad will never meet my children. He was such a fantastic father, the best, and I know he’d have been the best grandad. I feel I let him down by not trying for a family sooner, and now I’ve missed my chance to feel happy. I’ve been married nearly 10 years but we put it off as mentally we were not in the right place until a year or so ago. We’ve also had a lot of stress in the last few years with moving house, then again, renovating, and not having a home for a while etc. 
Now I can’t help but wish I’d had my children in my twenties so my Dad could have at least seen me pregnant and held my babies in his arms. 
Its so hard as my husbands parents are still alive but we aren’t close at all. My husband was closer to my Dad than his own. Why does life feel so unfair sometimes? 

Because life is unfair. Your feelings are normal and a part of this grieving process. Grief is our unexpressed love to the people we love.  It take time to learn that we cannot change the past. The decisions we made then were based on what we knew and understood then. Acceptance of that takes time, tears, and struggle.  Feelings are not to be ignored, yet they are not always facts.  Upon examination, contemplation, discussion and prayer, we can learn from them when we pursue the truth.  Your loss of your father is deep and profound. We who are left behind by our loved ones understand and empathize with your grief.  It is good to be able to have a group to discus these thoughts and feelings with people who understand and care.  - Shalom (Peace)

UPDATE: I took my Ham Radio Extra Exam last night and passed. I have been studying for it daily since I took the General exam on March 27th.

We have a serious gasoline shortage in my area due to the Colonial Pipeline shutdown.  Fortunately, I found some gas on my return home last night. It is 30 cents higher than my previous purchase, but I need gas for work next week. May is the month I struggle with... this too shall pass! State minimum wage went up 31% and gas 30%. I lost a 6-year client this week because I haven't taken the jab.  I still miss Rose Anne daily. I doubt that will ever change.  Yet I still press forward to the mark set before me. Shalom(Peace)

Welcome to our friendly and supportive community.  There is no timeline on Grief.  I believe the biggest misconception is that somehow we "get over it" and "move on". This is not reality. Each person has a different timeline with the journey of Grief.  To me grief, is the love you want to express to your Mom, yet it is difficult to manifest.  My mother, brother, father, and beloved wife have all passed and each one of them I grieve differently.  My beloved wife, Rose Anne, is the most challenging and brought me to this wonderful community over six years ago.  The intense grief for the loss of my wife was probably two years.  I still grieve for her to this day, but the intensity has lessened as I've come to learn some tools that are shared here as well as the fellowship with our community.  I cannot not "Move on" but rather choose to "move forward" with both grief and this healing journey.  It takes time, patience, and understanding.  Most people do not know or understand this level of grief for our most beloved.  It really helps me to express all of this to people here who care and support each other. I am glad you found us yet sad for what brought you here.  Take care of yourself.  Grief takes a lot of energy, and we need to learn how to nurture and take care of ourselves and our health as we also learn these tools to deal with grief. - Shalom (Peace)

UPDATE: I sat for the General Ham license on Saturday and passed it. I'm learning how to communicate with other operators. It is a chance to meet and talk with other people. This last year has been really isolating with lockdowns and restrictions. I am pursuing the Amateur Extra License and plan to take the exam on May 13th. - Shalom

My call sign is KO4OGV.     "Keep on for One God Victorious".

I'm learning how to use the radio and plan to sit for the general exam next Saturday. - Shalom (Peace)

Watched this post this morning and had to share it. We never know how we will touch and affect other people even through grief and mourning. This encourage me and I hope it does the same for you.  https://www.facebook.com/faizel.sampson - Shalom (Peace)

Update:

I passed my Amateur Ham Radio Technician license on March 4th. I'm still waiting for my call sign, so I can operate a ham radio. I'm now studying for the next level: General License.

My other good news is my roof repairs and complete shingling of my home was finally completed last week. The job was delayed three weeks due to constant rains. I keep pressing on. - Shalom (Peace)

Happy Heavenly Birthday my beloved Rose Anne. It's been six years since you departed Earth. I'm looking forward to the time we can see each other again. - I love you more each day and as we told each other many times, "I'll see you in Heaven" - SHALOM(PEACE)

UPDATE - I've been busy working and dealing with life on life's terms.  I'm thankful that  I saved enough of an emergency fund to repair and re-shingle my roof. Repairmen are planning to start work next week however rain is predicted (thankfully not snow) for the next few days. I still need to get my hernia repaired, and I will not be able to perform physical work for 2-6 weeks. I'm looking for a work partner and there are several challenges with this (state mandatory payroll increases, additional insurance requirements, training, etc...).

I have had several dreams about Rose Anne this month that seemed so real and peaceful.  I seem to miss her more as time travels forward. I still get those flash memories of her that cause me to tear and cry.  Being away from her presence is still difficult although manageable now. Her heaven birthday is this month on the 16th - 6 years. 

I discovered that wearing face masks cause my blood pressure to go up. I had a routine exam with my endocrinologist, and he wanted to immediately put me on blood pressure medication. The good news is I took my blood pressure at home several times, and it is in a good range 110/65. (No mask/No doctor's visits) The doctor took me off of my low dose thyroid medicine, and I'll be retested in a few months.   Hang in or at least hold on as we press forward to the mark set before us. - Shalom (Peace)

Happy Birthday, Marty! Thank you for your tireless service to our community - Shalom (Peace)

Merry Christmas! 2020 has been an interesting year? This is the sixth Christmas with much mixed emotions.  I continue each day to keep pressing forward to the mark set before me.  I am fortunate to be able to work especially this year. I'm thankful this group was here for me in my darkest hours after the sudden death of my beloved wife.  I'm still learning to accept things as they are as how they should be... learning to manage my expectations. Take care my friends. - Shalom(Peace)

Happy Anniversary to my beloved bride, Rose Anne. 31 yrs ago today. We both said I do and we did. It is the sweetest memory of our union. We are separated by flesh but not by the Spirit. " I'll see you in Heaven!" - Shalom

Joan_s,

My heart weeps with you as you share your dreadful experience.  The initial shock and awe of this does feel like a nightmare.  All of your thoughts and feelings are normal. Your mind is trying to sort out and make sense out of all of this.  The "what-ifs..." and "if only I..." is only natural. The best advice friends here gave me was to try and get some sleep, drink, water, and take this one moment at a time. Look into searching for a grief counselor who can help you through this challenging time.  Meanwhile, this group and Marty T has plenty of resources that helped me and many people here learn to deal with grief at this most difficult moment.  I will be praying for you peace and comfort and that you will know that you are never alone in this.  This group has helped me so much when my beloved wife died and my world was turned upside down. Take care of yourself. - Shalom ( Peace)

4 hours ago, nashreed said:

It's been almost 5 months since losing my beloved wife.  So, I have been struggling to even find a reason to get up every day. I find it very hard to find anything to look forward to. Nothing seems to matter without Annette.

I have a hard time watching shows that she enjoyed. It just doesn't seem right to enjoy her shows, so I tend to shy away from watching them. I can enjoy music that she didn't like, but find it difficult and sad to listen to artists she liked.  Finding a purpose, something to take pride in, is incredibly hard. There's just no motivation because I used to do everything for her. I took pride in maintaining our huge two lot yard. I don't have it anymore, as I had to move, so I don't even have that for exercise and purpose.

One thing I find I enjoy are treats and sweets- which are bad for me because I have Type 2 Diabetes. I have never been that into sugary stuff, but now I find they're inexpensive rewards- like Halloween donuts for example. I have to actually drive out of town to get to the different donut places, so I get out of the house too. It's bad for me, but it's a distraction.

How long did it take to get out of your grief and actually start to enjoy life?

It took me quite awhile to deal with the Shock and Awe of my beloved wife's death from complications of Type 2 Diabetes. I learned to just take one day at a time. It was a couple of years after her death that my childhood dream of flying was rekindling. It was the first time I was looking FORWARD to something instead of just mourning her death.  It was a weird juxtaposition.  As part of this renewed passion, I determined to lose weight. In this process, I stalled after losing 45lbs. I was so determined, that I discovered the reason and that I too was pre-diabetic. When I learned the ROOT CAUSE and that I could STOP the progression of this disease, I changed my lifestyle, shed another 135lbs and put my diabetes in remission.  There is a HOPE and a FUTURE! I now have the opportunity to help many other people.

I still want to learn to fly yet there are a few other obstacles in my path yet I will not give up.  My hope still flickers.I keep pressing forward to the mark set before me.  This community has helped me tremendously through those early times and darkest hour.  Working through the grief steps that Marty T provides helps us to trudge through our personal grief journey and our community is here to support each other.  Take care.

PS I haven't even really thought about enjoying life... I'll have to ponder that.  I have come to learn to accept life on life's terms. Shalom (Peace be with you)

19 hours ago, nashreed said:

I wish there was good in my life today. I can say I truly hate my life now.

I live back home with my mother and brother, so it's like I'm a teenager again, except I'm an achy 50 year old, so I'm trying to keep a whole house of memories with my wife in my little childhood room.  I can't talk to them about my feelings and my loss of her- they always resented my leaving. My brother is 54 and has never had a relationship, so I'm living the fate that would have befell me if Annette had not saved me from it.  They're not bad people, they just really don't have empathy and they want me to be over it already.  I have no real friends, nobody I can talk to and rely on. It was always just me and Annette against the world. I miss our life, our world.  I'm just existing day to day, but I have no hope for a future- all I have is the past. My family lives in the past as well, for different reasons. 

Nashreed,

My heart beats with you as i read your comments. It takes time and grief work to journey through our grief.  Life will never return to what it was yet there is still a reason and purpose for our existence.  My wife died over five years ago, yet at times it still feels so recent. The life and memories we shared will forever be in my hearth and mind.  I have learned that feelings are not always facts yet when examined they will lead me to Truth.  It feels like my life power was dimmed when she died, yet I trudge forward through life. Marty T offers many tools in our community and please know that you are not alone in this.  My family and friends do not understand this personal type of grief. It doesn't go away or that we can just shake off. Our community here helps, listens, and understands because we are going through a similar journey. This group helped me in the darkest hours/days and they now sustain me as I continue to trudge through life.  We are not alone because we share openly with friends who understand and empathize with us. Take care my friend. - George - Shalom (Peace)

On 8/28/2020 at 4:15 AM, Gwenivere said:

Did some sleuthing and Marg was here a few hours ago.  Now we just need to hear from her if she was close or not.  Oh Marg?!?   

Glad you’re ok Shirley.  George, hope you get thru this storm without damage.

No damage. Just some rain. - Shalom

17 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Heard about the huge hurricane hitting the gulf.  Marg?  Are you in the path?  Anyone else?  Sounds like this is gonna be catastrophic.

The hurricane will be downgraded by the time it reaches my area in Eastern coastal Virginia.  Just some winds and rains predicted for Saturday.  The previous hurricane came right over us  three weeks ago.  I had some minor repairs.  This Hurricane is much stronger with category 4 winds. Praying everyone is safe and secure. - Shalom

5 hours ago, MamasGirl59 said:

I wasn’t sure where to put this... 

Am I supposed to send thank you notes out for condolence cards, food, flowers and other stuff? 

It hasn’t even been a week since my mom passed away and I’m still at the very beginning of grieving (pretty much shock and depression). I also have a newborn... I don’t know if can find the energy to sit down and write thank you notes. It takes me all the energy just to get out of bed in the morning and be a new mom. On top of that I’m still extremely sad... but I don’t want to seem rude or ungrateful.

This is an example of something I would ask my mom 😔

I'm not an expert on etiquette,  I was informed I "should" send out thank you cards after the funeral when my wife died.  I just didn't have the strength or energy to face that task.  I have learned not to "SHOULD" on myself over other peoples expectations of how I should perform or grieve.  You also have a newborn that takes much of your energy.  I was in shock for a long time and grief itself takes a lot of energy.  You are not being rude to take care of yourself.  We are here as a group to help you through this process and let you know that you are not alone.  Please take care of yourself and your health.  Take care - Shalom ( Peace be with you)

9 hours ago, Missy1965 said:

I moved in with my parents and they make me eat even though I don't want to. I've lost 16 pounds. I can only stomach a little at a time. I drink plenty of fluids. I don't sleep in the bed Brian and I shared together but I long for him to be beside me. I may go horseback riding today with one of my sons. 

Someone please tell me how to overcome the bad images from his hospital stay. I feel it is getting in the way of even beginning to cope. 

You are fortunate to have your parents to help you through this.  I struggled with many things in the early days. It takes time to come to terms with the death of your beloved Brian.  I had images of when I found my beloved wife, Rose Anne dead.  I have pictures of her through my home to remind me of the better days and times.  I pray, write, or journal through those roughest times.  There is no timeline for this but it helped me to know that I am not alone in this grief journey.  There will be a time when this grief pain is less intense and severe. That time is different for everyone.  For me, I need to just focus on one day TODAY, not the past or the future.  Life will never be the same yet we all have lessons to learn through this grief and healing process.  My wife and I are physically separated yet she is still a part of my spirit, mind, and life.  I pray you find your grief journey that helps you through this shocking time. Shalom (Peace)

3 hours ago, Missy1965 said:

You didn't hurt me and you're right, I'm trying to escape the pain. Right now I feel as if I am not going to make it. The week in the hospital, his illness, my feelings of guilt and regret...all these things have me bound so tightly and I don't know where to even begin. I can't even drive my car without seeing him beside me. I don't even want to live anymore. I pray God has mercy on me and takes me home asap. I just want to be at peace and see him again. I can't even say his name 😞

Missy1965, what you share and experience is very common as you sore out this grief and pain.  One of the lessons I have learned on this journey is that "Feelings are not Facts, yet when examined will lead us to Truth.  You are still in the early phase of "Shock and Awe" that I went through just learning to accept life as it unfolds.  I could sleep, I couldn't eat and at times led to even breathe.  This safe place gave me shelter, comfort, and a place to share my struggles with the lost of my beloved wife.  Grief takes additional energy.  Take care of yourself, your body, even though you don't FEEL like it.  Please continue to share and learn these great tools and resources MartyT provides us to help us on our journey.  You are not alone... We care for you! (Shalom) Peace

2 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

Ally’s gone.  It went differently than other times which will haut me for awhile.  Don’t want to type details.  Am so very grateful my buddy was here as he knew her so well and got to say goodbye.  Vet said blips of being better were common and do complicate the decision.  The most helpful thing hecsaud is how did I want to remember her.  She would never 'get better'.  Just have better days sometimes, like today.  I’m glad she wasn’t in pain, but also, that in his practice he saw less regret not having waited as things can get bad so quickly and you’re stuck waiting for help.  So I’m in shock mode right now.  Her collar is here.  Her meds.  She’s nowhere to be found, and I have a lot if crying in my future. 💔 Thank you all for being here for me.  It means the world to me.  ❤️

Praying for comfort and peace for you. It is a tough decision to make and as you say the price of love. Shalom (Peace)