iPraiseHim

20 hours ago, mittam99 said:

Stopping by on a difficult day. My beloved Tammy would have been 51 today. And it's been 5 agonizing years and 3 months since the day that change my world forever.

I have no idea what happiness feels like anymore. Happiness was being with Tammy, plain and simple. Alone, everything feels a bit like drudgery. TV is now my main companion. I don't eat as well as I should or exercise. It's not that I don't care or that I've given up; there's just no joy in anything. Plus the aches and pains sort of limit what I can do. My brain thinks I'm 21, but my body feels much more ancient.

I work in an essential job and deal with the public up close and personal. It's borderline scary being 65 years old and dealing with the pandemic and all the frightening possibilities. Then I come home and it's me, myself and I (and the TV lol). Rinse, wash, repeat. The constant feeling of stress overwhelms.

I just wish I could press rewind and go back to the days of joy and love. The days when Tammy was by my side. The days when I had purpose and life didn't feel so sad and meaningless.

Mitch

I just turned 65 last month and all that it entails. Dealing with Medicare decisions the last six months forced me to face my biological age.  It has been over five years since, my beloved wife, Rose Anne, died, and I still miss her everyday. I'm weeping just writing this. I am also have an essential job and fortunate to still be able to work. Having a sudden heart attack six months ago rocked my world as well. I'm thankful I am still alive and there was no damage to my heart.  I am trying to make the best of this situation in life and help others that suffer from diabetes. There is a hope and a future that the medical doctors never gave my wife. I cannot change the past. I can only hope to share to all who will listen that there is a hope and a future.  Loneliness is the toughest part of this side of grief.  I pray and think about you often. There were several of us thrust into this grief world involuntarily.  Fortunately, Marty T provides a safe haven and great tools of recovery and dealing with this on a daily basis.  Take care my friend.  - Shalom (Peace)

My Journey continues... May is usually the roughest month for me because of so many life events.  You can scroll through previous years posts for that.  This year as it is my sixth trip around the calendar without my beloved Rose Anne, I decided to just let the month of May roll in and out without much fanfare.... Well that was the plan anyway,.  Just feel the feelings and keep moving forward.  Of course May 1st was important because of having to making decisions about Medicare options, etc... I have never been reminded so much about my age or that focused on a number.  I've decided I'll just hold at this age for the rest of my life.

I went to my Cardiologist to get clearance for an elective surgery but the doctor wants to postpone it because of my stents and the medications.  My Endocrinologist says my thyroid function is fine yet I still have some annoying symptoms.  I am fortunate to be able to work .

I installed my window air conditioner today as the temps went up into the 90's and it is 85 in the rest of the home. I will be able to sleep comfortably tonight.  I hope to get my Home AC repaired soon!

Life continues to march forward one day at a time and I strive to do my best each day. Stay safe everyone.  Shalom (Peace)

On 5/10/2020 at 6:31 PM, Gwenivere said:

I have one more gripe.  Wearing oxygen makes your nose run.  So often drops of it hit my tablet and the bathroom floor or my jeans.  Makes it hard out shopping as people think you are sick.  It disgusts me!  The dog hair around here doesn’t help either. Just brushed Ally a bit and Lordy!  

Does your oxygen machine have a humidifier? Oxygen dries out the sinuses and that is what causes it. When on a portable, a couple of shot of saline mist in the nose helps. - Take care - Shalom

JimJim,

In my early days and years of grief, I too searched for some reason, for some way to blame myself for my wife's death.  If only I did this, if only I knew that,  etc...  I keep going over in my mind trying to find some way to blame myself so that I could hang on to a reason for her death.  I love my wife, Rose Anne, beyond the limits I can put into words.  Through this group, prayer, and my faith, I have come to understand that FEELINGS are not FACTS! Yet when examined can lead us to Truth.  I was my wife's caregiver the last six years of her life.  I learn to forgive myself for being a human, fallible and unable to perceive and keep everything working perfectly.  I am not Sovereign and control everything.  Life is not in my our our control.  I had to learn to forgive myself and stop looking for someone or something to blame.

My wife died five years ago while I was away at work.  I wasn't home to save her.  I miss her every day. ( Today is her birthday).  I cherish all of the wonderful memories and experiences we shared together for almost 26 years.  I pray you will find a way to forgive yourself for being human and loving your wife.  You are worth it.  Take care and I will be lifting you in prayer for healing your heart, mind, and soul.  Take care- Shalom (Peace)

Happy Birthday, my beloved, Rose Anne - Shalom

19 hours ago, Metal said:

Thanks all. I was really struggling earlier today when I posted. Fortunately for me my mate sensed something was off and came to keep me company and helped me to get up and spend some time working on one of my cars and tidying the garage, as well as just listening to me. It's now 1:30am here. I've fed the dogs for the night (yes, my wife and I have two dogs, and I also have her two horses to care for). I feel like things will get much worse before there's any chance of getting better, at the moment I think I'm mostly numb and/or distracted. And despite that it still hurts like hell. When I'm distracted I do smile, and can find things to talk about, but when I'm not I have trouble getting off the couch or out of bed. I know it's early days. I am seeing my GP and have discussed counseling etc. I am going back for a follow up in a couple of days. I just don't know what to do in so many ways. There's all this stuff to sort out to transfer things into my name and organise finances etc. I have a job to go back to, which I should be thankful for at this time, but there's no way that I can do that right now. I'm not sleeping well, heck I never slept well when my wife was away anyway, and this is the longest we've been apart for 16 years. And then there's a life, our life, and our home, that we had planned and were living that is now gone and empty. Everyone around me is grieving and rightly upset and sad, but their lives are mostly intact, their homes haven't changed. I dunno, everyone keeps saying that I'm not alone, but of course I am, as much as I hugely appreciate the support. I'm not suicidal, at least at this stage, but I also am having real trouble understanding why I would want to live like this the rest of my life, likely 50 years or more - I certainly don't see the point in living over half my life in a state of grieving. That's not living. But I can't see that there'll be a way out either. I literally don't know anyone, even from my parents or friends parents generation who has been through this. I know it's pointless to say, a complete cliche, and that life isn't meant to be fair, but just the same - this is not fair. 

Hi Metal,

My heart grieves with you as I read and absorb your profound loss. Although our journey is different , I went through similar symptoms of grief, sleeplessness, lack of appetite, no energy, etc...  Fortunately, I found this wonder group and safe haven of people who understand deeply the intensity of this grief.  I reached out here, listened, asked questions, and just shared my life. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat and at times even had trouble breathing.  Everything looked hopeless and bleak.  I took the advice and went to a doctor that prescribed a relaxer than would just calm my mind down so I could rest.  I learned to take it one moment at a time and try not to look too far ahead. I called it "SHOCK and AWE". Your story shocked me.  My beloved wife and best friend was just gone. The intensity of this grief will lessen over time. Marty has a wealth of resources to help us travel this grief journey.  There are many here who know and understand what you are going through.  There is also hope and healing alongside the grief.  Take care of yourself, your body and your health. Grief takes more energy. We are all here for you as others were her for us.  Most people don't understand the deep  love, compassion, and sense of loss.  I have learned to move forward and my beloved wife, Rose Anne, is with my in my heart, mind, and spirit.  Your wife is with you too! Take care my friend.  Shalom (Peace)

Laura, My heart grieves with you. This is such a wonderful tribute to a beautiful soul.  This pandemic has touched all of us in vast and unfathomable ways. Praying for peace and comfort for you as you traverse another grief walk.  Please know we are here with you and lift you up. Shalom (Peace) and {{{ HUGS }}}.

Checking in:

Hello everyone! 👋.  I am fortunate to be able to work through this pandemic. I never imagined my home cleaning business would be thought of as an "essential " service.  I take extra precautions and up until two weeks ago, I hardly saw any clients as they were away working.  I have only lost a few cleaning jobs.  I am blessed.

Health has been a challenge this month with my hernia and now some leg issues. I am trying to delay doctors visit until May 1st when Medicare kicks in.  I have had a few hiccups  but have managed to get them resolved. My health insurance cost will go up $250 a month in May. Medicare is neither simple or cheaper.  I have never really paid attention to my age until now with all of these constant reminders. 

I was able to get my medicine at a reasonable cost $50 month verses $450/month.  But , there are still a few more hoops to jump through to get that resolved.  Stay safe everyone and have a blessed Easter.  - Shalom (Peace)

Hi GinGin,

Welcome to our wonderful group. My heart grieves with you as you go through this loss and grief of your beloved Keith.

We are the survivors and the one left behind as a result of our partners death.  We survive simply just one moment, one hour, one day at a time.  I was in such Shock and AWE from my wife's death and these wonderful group of people listened, shared, and cared for me on this grief journey.  It is comforting to know that we are not alone and that others understand, empathize, and care for one another.

My wife, Rose Anne, and I were married for 25 years and together 26.  We were inseparable until the day she passed.  There will be others to welcome and say hi with some tips and suggestions.  What you are feeling is real.  I had a difficult time concentrating, sleeping, eating, focusing on a task, and even breathing at times. There is no right or wrong way to feel.  Feelings are just that feelings.  Drink plenty of water, try to eat nourishing food, and get plenty of sleep to rest and restore. Grief takes a lot of energy.  Thank you for sharing with us and let us know how we can help you. - Shalom (Peace)

22 hours ago, KarenK said:

Kevin, so sorry to hear of another setback. If only our kids could understand the heartbreak......

Blast it! I seem to have another UTI. Called the doctor and of course he won't prescribe without a urine sample. Office called back and said he is doing televisits?. Not sure what you call them, but my computer does not have a camera. Waiting for another callback. I'm not in a lot of pain, but very uncomfortable.

I just had another UTI from this medicine I suspect.  I am curious how a televisit is going to work for a UTI. I had blood in my urine and you could take a photo of that.  Fortunately, I call my Dr and he just refilled the script without a doctor's visit in this COVID19 climate.  It is very uncomfortable pain. Praying they order some medicine for you soon. Shalom (Peace)

59 minutes ago, scba said:

This crisis is triggering PTSD on me. The virus, the ICU, isolation, social distance, washing hands. I knew them to well. He died from a virus. 

All those things I will never forget but those images, memories, they are at my "front page" now and I'm not doing well. I feel a pain I haven't recurrently experienced in a long time. The "knife" pain, as I call it. That and a heaviness on my chest. 

I compare myself to his hospital confinements. I now see how it must have been for him. This realization is a sword on your soul. Did I need this global crisis to know that? 

He was young, strong, he was a unique human being capable of standing all that, and I did too by his side, worried, upset, yes, but eventually he made it, for 3 years that is how it went. We had an ultimate purpose. We never got there. He died.

If I am asked to wear a mask to go out I think I will scream and break into tears. I don't go out. I was wearing ICU clothes the last time I saw him, half dead. I was wearing a mask. I can't do it.

But now.....I go through this crisis as "this too shall pass". I'm looking forward to put all this behind me and forget. 

I am a terrible human being. I'm not a better person after he died. I don't care if the world will be better or worse, If we are going to learn a life lesson, all this about gym at home, work at home, bake at home, Netflix at home. I do them but don't care about their ultimate meaning, because to me there is none! I will survive this confinement, but it is only me now. He will be gone. It is just me. This Covid would have killed him. It was another virus. They work the same. 

We will survive. One day at a time.

My heart aches for you as you are forced to go through this. You are not a terrible human being. Your experiences have etched a scar in your psyche.  Death is not something that we can just get over and move on.  My life is not any better because Rose Anne died five years ago.  It is profoundly different.  We can't undo or change what has already happened.  I have had loneliness and isolation since.  It is a private thing. It's not something I let others see.

My understanding is that masks are not required to be worn unless you suspect you have  a cold or the virus. The hardest part for me is to not touch my face with my hands.  I wear gloves all the time when I am working or going shopping for groceries. 

I will be praying Peace and comfort for you during this current National Pandemic - Shalom ( Peace)

58 minutes ago, Marg M said:

I braved it through another box and after this one put it down.  I told my son that Billy was just the cutest tall fellow.  He was 6'2" and I was 5'2" (at one time), but said I was shorter now, but Billy was a lot shorter and compact too.  I said, well, I guess that is not funny.  Scott said, it kind of is and Daddy would have laughed.  I think you call that Gallow's humor.  This was in 1980, forty years ago.  I miss us.  I think we always looked like "Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean, so between them both, they licked the platter clean."  (I know that was one of my mom's songs.

Adorable picture and a treasured memory.  I remember my Mom telling me about "Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean" as a children story.  I loved to hear my Mom read. She instilled in me the desire to read and learn everything I can.  Thanks Marg - Shalom (Peace)

On 2/29/2020 at 12:47 PM, KarenK said:

I have Medicare A and B. My advantage plan is United Healthcare thru AARP. Cost now up to $245 mo. I have no deductible. My RX is Humana Wal-Mart value plan. Cost $13 mo. My drugs are Tier 1 so cost me $3 or $4 every 3 months. Higher tiers cost a lot more, which is probably where your heart medicine falls, George. My dental is Metlife. Cost $36 mo. Only covers 50%  of the big stuff, 100% of cleaning and x-rays. Has a $100 deductible. My saving grace is the reimbursement allowance I receive from being a telephone company retiree.  Unfortunately, it is a set amount that does not increase as premiums increase so it's depleted by October now. Without that money, I wouldn't be able to afford insurance. The premiums just keep increasing.

My cost will be similar to yours! I signed up for Plan G $ 112, Part B $145, Part D $ 13.  The $1,400 deductible for Medicare Part A is Covered with my Plan G ( MEdi-Gap Plan) .  There is a $200 Deductible for Medicare Part B and then every thing else is covered except the Drugs.  Yes, there is no deductible for Tier 1 & 2 Drugs. My Heart medicine is Tier 3 so the $435 deductible applies.  There is some gap thing After $4,000 in drugs are paid which shifts my cost to 25% of the cost of drugs.  I may also qualify for supplemental care due to my low income... 

I received my Medicare card Saturday ( how can I be this old??) It is a strange juxtaposition in life now.  Another surprise!  Because I filed for Medicare, Social Security informed me that I have some small monthly benefit from work back in 1997!.  I contacted the firm and TODAY they just transferred the plan to another trust company so the funds are frozen for a month.

Take care everyone! - Shalom

10 hours ago, kayc said:

It sure is!  I have a Medicare Advantage program (Healthnet-Ruby) And I don't begin to pay this much but if I was hospitalized, it would cost me $450/day for four days, that's it.  I have to get referrals from my PCP for other doctors.  I pay $120 deductible once a year on my Rxs and it's included in the Medicare premium.

A friend of mine did not sign up for Rx coverage right away and had to pay about $50/month the rest of her life and her husband had to pay the same, just because they didn't sign up for it right away as they had coverage through his work.  That's a pretty steep "penalty."  That's why I asked, I don't want you stuck in that.

My understanding is that PART D can not be signed up through Medicare system but rather the various Drug/insurance plans. When I receive my medicare card # then I can apply for the rest of the program.  The medicare broker said they have the lowest Part D plan annual costs yet I stumbled on another one that cut my costs by $200.  I am still trying to get this expensive drug through another program but the doctor has not filled out the necessary paperwork to get processed.... There seem to be always a struggle doesn't there.  Once approved it would only cost $50 per month. - Shalom

On 2/27/2020 at 10:07 PM, Gwenivere said:

 So this is going to cost over $800 for the deductibles plus $1400 as a one time charge for Medicare itself?  I guess that is better than private pay which costs me about $450 a month plus deductibles.  What a mess trying to figure this all out.  I’ll be picking your brain when my time comes.  Are you allowed to then go to any doctor?   I ave to stay in a network which is restricting at times. Tho there seems less confusion to me with private pay.  What a mess!

Yes, any doctor that accepts original Medicare. The $1,400 deductible is for a hospitalization. I looked at the networks but they get real restrictive and I lose my pre-existing condition exemption once I choice an Advantage plan. What bugs me is Medicare does not allow us to use coupons from the Drug manufacture companies.  It seems like a rigged system. IMHO - Shalom

11 hours ago, kayc said:

This is wonderful news, I'm so glad for you!

Are you not getting Medicare Part D for Rx coverage?

Yes, Eventually... The person helping me to choose Part D, Part G and Medigap (covers the other 20% of part informed me that I needed to sign up first for Medicare.  I am now enrolled and waiting for my Medicare Card.  I received paperwork confirmation that I am enrolled.  The Part D Medicare coverage  has a $435 deduction before there is coverage. It looks like My out of pocket RX expenses will be $1,000 plus the $13 per month. So here is the breakdown for 2020:

Medicare Part A - Hospitalization (covers 80%) - no cost Deductible $1, 408

Medicare Part B- Doctors, outpatient, DME - Cost $145 per month, Deductible $198

Medicare Part D - Drugs - Cost $13-75 per month Deductible $435 and there is a max payout and out of pocket costs increase.

Medi-gap Plan - cost ?? $198

I'm still trying to sort this out. - Shalom

Good NEWS!

I received a letter today informing me that the hospital wrote off over $4,000 of my outstanding balance. I applied for charity and they were very charitable!

I just received the Physicians bill for their services for my hospital stay and office visits. That bill is almost $3,000.  Hopefully, they will look at my financial situation and give me Grace as well.

On Other news...

I have applied for Medicare Part A and B so hopefully it will go into effect in May. I picked up my Rx today. The Rx is $76 this month. Each month will be a different price ?  I am told that once on Medicare that I can not use coupons for the Rx?  I don't understand that logic!

We had a small snowstorm last Friday but I was able to scrape windows and ice and go to work.  The roads were clear. 

Work keeps me busy and paperwork, insurance, cleaning up my home and several small projects.  I take each day as it comes and still working on maximizing my health.  Take care. - Shalom

58 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

I definitely have gained a huge empathy now that I have experienced what I only observed before.  I was never unsympathetic, but I knew I could get up and walk away without pain, didn’t feel the stranglehold of depression, didn’t need oxygen strapped to my face to survive.  Even seeing that in others I thought it could never happen to me.  When it did I felt targeted, like I was somehow more special than others.  I’ve certainly been humbled from that kind of thinking.  Selfishly, I want to go back.  Who wouldn’t want to leave all this inner and outer pain?  But since that isn’t an option, I can try and use the understanding I now have.  The thing I have to be careful about is comparison.  I am worse than some,better than others, tho I can’t think of who beyond residents at the nursing home.  Mentally I don’t know anyone as low as I am.  I called a crisis help line yesterday because I had no one to talk to I felt would understand.  I have my counselors, but I needed someone immediately.  This is a daily thing and having had the 5 week time to interact with others when I was in facilities showed me how alone my existence is that I never saw before.  It was another 'why me?' experience.  One very not needed to keep walking this road alone.  I don’t see a future that has any pluses. I know people older than me living alone, but they have people of great importance in their lives to fuel them.  I do the solitary things they do like taxes, but I’m not sorting pictures to pass along or planning get togethers to refill my souls well.  Don’t have anyone that truly knows me to contemplate my future options as I lose more abilities.  There is a part of me that will never forgive Steve for leaving me.  It’s a taboo thing to say, but I feel it.  He didn’t choose it, but emotions aren’t logical.  I get so angry that he can’t help me with the double load of responsibilities I have now.  I get angry with the dogs for stepping on my oxygen tubing.  I take it way too personally if someone cancels dropping by which is rare anyone does.  His death was like a trial and I lost.  Convicted and serving my sentence.  And I say, honestly, I am innocent.  To not sound totally embittered, I know Steve did not want this to happen.  He would totally understand my anger, sadness and feeling I can’t go on without him.  He wouldn’t be telling me there is purpose, a higher meaning or something I was meant to accomplish.  He knew this was a losing roll of the dice with nature, nothing more.  He stood trial and lost too.  Is he in a better place or exist at all, I don’t know.  All I know is it’s over for him and I envy him that.  He told me he would not want to be the one left behind.  He knew this would be hell and said he wouldn’t be far behind me.  Knowing him, it would have been true.  Maybe we just loved each other too much.  No, no maybe, we did.  I loved our deep relationship but perhaps a more conventional one would have been easier.  I know some widows that have gone on tho they do have friend and family connections.  Mine dried up.  The first year I was saved by mine.  They are gone now.  It wouldn’t be enough now.  After 5 years and who knows how many more, only he will do.  I knew I couldn’t count on others but I never thought he’d be the one to cause me pain I never knew existed.  Yet I love him more everyday.   It’s counterproductive but the way it is.  

I hear and understand your grief, loneliness, and pain. My emotions at times are my worst enemies. You continue to be daily in my thoughts and prayers.  Growing older (aging this year) seems to have hit me harder because of Hospitalization, Insurance issues, billing, collections, Current physical ailments, uncertainty of medications and treatments, etc... I can easily spiral down with certain thoughts and feelings.  Praying you will have brighter days! - Shalom (Peace)

Five years ago today, my beloved wife, Rose Anne departed. It seems to have hit me more this year. I had trouble sleeping last night. I woke up late and decided to not attend church. Some memories and flashbacks to the time I discovered her lifeless body has haunted me the last few days.  This too shall pass. - Shalom (Peace)

On 2/5/2020 at 8:47 AM, kayc said:

I do this, but the yearning in my heart for Arlie is tremendous.  It's hard to believe he's really gone, even after all this time.  I miss my baby so much!  I love all that he brought to me, he was the best dog in the world.  I was just thinking this morning how he brought me one more gift he didn't even know about...I'm Diabetic and my Blood Sugar started being way too high (185-204) fasting morning B.S. when he was diagnosed with cancer.  I thought it'd come down after his death and time of grieving.  Well it didn't.  It forced me to take radical measures and I started the Keto diet with the New Year.  Now my fasting B.S. is closer to 100, a bit up and down yet, and I've lost weight, will continue on it and my goal is to get off my Diabetic Medicines.  It could take months, maybe even longer, but I aim to get there.  

Yes, you will! - Shalom

Fae, Thank you for sharing everything you have with us. On the 16th of this month, I will be experiencing the fifth anniversary of my beloved wife, Rose Anne.  I didn't think I could survive for a day or a week yet here I am. I share the same sentiments that you have expressed... and still we continue on the path laid before us.  I appreciate you and many others that helped, listened, and encouraged me. Thank you - Shalom (Peace)

Two months after my hospitalization, I return to the gym to resume my fitness routine. My anxiety level and trepidation was high. Before I began, my heart rate jumped up to 134 BPM.  That was before I started to exercise. I calmed myself down and just starte my upper body routine.  I spent about 35 minutes today just getting used to using the muscles, machines, and memory.  It felt good to be back where I have been going to for a year now.  tomorrow I plan to return for my lower body workout routine. Keep pressing forward. - Shalom

5 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

There’s a lot of places that offer in home care.  I’m just so worn out dealing with people and I’d have a limited list, I’m sure, thru my insurance.  All rate themselves great, but how do you really know?  This will be letting someone into my home.  Have to take that into consideration. A conversation for the social worker.  

This week I need to address how the physical therapy is causing me more pain combined with this gawd awful bed.  My stamina is better, I think.  It’s hard to judge in this setting.  Especially getting less sleep.  I didn’t wake in this much pain at home.  I wasn’t doing bikes and machines there tho.  I just don’t get how they will determine I’m ready to go.  

I’m hoping I won’t be facing this at 65.  November isn’t soon.  I’m so sick of trying to coordinate this crap and not having a clue what things will cost.  I have my financial advisor on alert.  I’ve already been thru thousands on the dogs.  Worth every penny, but always a reminder of Steve being gone.  Just like getting this in home person.  It’s a tornado of frustration and anger.  Trying not to feel defeated but it’s tough.  

You have a lot to deal with it.  I would think that you would prefer to be at home than in an assistance facility. I would ask your financial advisor to help with the process of determining the best in-home care services to work with your budget.  If the first one you chose doesn't work out then move on to the next one.  It seems you would have more control and there is always hope that your health will improve.  Plus you will be home with your beloved pets.... praying for your healing and recovery. - Shalom (Peace)

10 hours ago, kayc said:

George, you are an educated man.  You go by the results of studies, and not well accepted falsehoods that others (including doctors) ascribe to.  Therein may be your answer.  If I thought someone was telling me wrong, and had facts on my side, I would rather follow what I knew was true.  I don't say that lightly.  I do not want to lose you!  Most of all, do not let "fear" reign.  When you go back to the gym, do so lightly and carefully.  And remember, walking is one of the best things we can do that is least likely to cause us problems.  Me...I think my doctor would be stunned if she saw what I do in a day and how I eat.  They say the numbers do not lie...maybe, maybe not.  I do know there are other factors they do not take into consideration when looking at them.  Like you with your thyroid, who knew?  The doctors should have known long ago.

I'm very sorry about your loss of your dream.  So many of us here have lost our dreams, it's hard to continue without them.  But we must, perhaps we need to look for another dream, anything that brings hope and something to reach for.  Your dream served its purpose, even if not what you thought, it helped you accomplish weight loss goals that are amazing!  You worked out beyond what most of us could accomplish!  But your life is not over.  It's in shifting gears we sometimes get lost...but can find our way still.

Marg, I love your Robert Frost quote, you always come up with something appropriate at just the right time!

 

Thank you, Kayc,

I have decided to start walking each day  and plan to return to the gym on Monday to resume my basic core exercises. I will plan to start slow and rebuild.  I'm still working on sorting out all of these Medicare choices and options. Time flies and I need to sign up soon!.  May will be here soon!.  - Shalom

2 hours ago, Gin said:

George,  my prayers for your healing and wisdom go up to God.   I had an incident last week when my cardiologist asked what anti cholesterol drug I was on.   I told him NONE.  he said “Why not?”   Well, because my levels were ok.  He did not agree.  They want that LDL down to 70.  He prescribed a high dose of a statin.  I have known so many who had big problems with statins (Al included).   Called him back and read my numbers to nurse.  She called back and said to definitely take it.  I called my primary and went in the same day.  He agreed with me.  Wrote a prescription for 1/4 dose.  I was very nervous about taking it when I am alone.  This is hard work looking after the medical stuff.  Rooting for you, George.    Gin

The physician assistant told me the same thing!. My LDL-c is 153. My triglyceride 46 and HDL is 69. The best number a person can have. Lowering cholestoral lowers all of our hormone, vitamin, and mineral production. The scientific studies all say that we need higher cholesterol levels as we mature. The mortality rate is higher for people on statins with lower cholesterol.  Once I know it, I can't pretend I don't ! Please ask your doctor for real clinical trials that prove the doctors protocol. there are none. They are associative studies. " Association dose not prove Causation. They suggest further clinical trials. I have decided to follow "PEACE" instead of "Fear". It is a daily choice.