Gettingthrough79

So many are quick to judge.

I'm sick to my ato n a chance tonight and don't wish this feeling on anyone.

But, befoe they judge, let's see how it feels when it happens to them.

So many are quick to judge.

I'm sick to my ato n a chance tonight and don't wish this feeling on anyone.

But, befoe they judge, let's see how it feels when it happens to them.

It's almost pitch black out because of the storm and I woke up a shaky mess as usual.

I miss my mother and all the losses I've suffered the past 2 months. I'm just laying here not knowing what to do. I even miss my abusive ex if that makes sense.

Bills are piling up, I'm more isolated then ever with people judging me.

No words make this better. How do I go on?

I miss my mother too much, cat is gone, car is totaled, losing the house, and the boyfriend....

How can someone's brain process all these losses in such a short time. Family members and friends being careless and mean??

I have hardly any money left and wake up every morning shaking. Thank God I have a wonderful doctor who has been bringing me food or I would hardly eat.

I am trying so hard.....it hurts too much...no ones words can help although I know people try.

I have to go look at 2 condos tomm with a friend but I'm scared he won't show up because I'm so used to being let down. Filled with panic and anxiety.

If you pray, please pray for me, if you don't please send positive thoughts my way.

I don't even know how I'm gonna make it in the bath.

On 10/4/2016 at 8:23 AM, kayc said:

If an animal smells bad it's usually tooth decay or an infection.

She smells fine and Im not even around her hardly. My realtor is just a condescending bitch. Found a new one.

Just now, Gettingthrough79 said:

Yes, have to sell the house.

Ty for all the replies....yes he is sadistic, the last thing I thought he was.

I am lucky to have an ex boyfriend come help me pack Saturday. and look at a few places to live.

I just wanna rot and not get out of bed and no one thing anyone can change that unless I do it myself. I am finding it too hard.

On 10/1/2016 at 1:06 PM, kayc said:

Do one positive thing for yourself every day, just to have upward mobility.  I know it's hard.  The day I lost my husband was the worst day of my life and the days following tied for first place.  I do understand loss, I've lost so many people, so many pets.  Your BF sounds sadistic, PLEASE block him from calling/texting!  That would count as your one positive thing for today.   

Is the lawyer about mom's estate?  Maybe once that is settled you can get another car, once you get your license back.  Sometimes they'll give you permission to drive to/from work, so if you get a job, you can ask about that possibility.  

I'm sorry if my suggestions bother you, but people keep spurring you on because they know you need it, it's easier to give in and quit, but that won't help you.  We've come to care about you!

Yes, have to sell the house.

On 10/2/2016 at 4:20 PM, kayc said:

Can you live in the house while they're selling it or has it already sold?

I can live here, not much longer though.

 had rescued a cat years ago. She's feral. She has a bit of an odor but I love her and deal with it.

My realtor just told me I stink like cats when I get in her car. 

Wtf???

And I know I do not smell. Freaking btich.

How rude can you be? And I know it's not true...even though the grief I'm going through, I keep my clothes clean.

Thankyou.

I am finding it hard to eat, walk, sleep, etc.

I got into a car accident two days before my mother died.

I lost my cat, boyfriend, car, cat  and mother all in a week.

I had to sell the house to get some income yet don't have the strength to go look st rentals.

I feel like I'm living in purgatory or hell.

On 9/28/2016 at 5:21 AM, Finch said:

How do people get through the days that are really bad? The lowest days, in comparison to a normal day. The low points on the graph.

Do people ever analyse why those days are especially bad? When you miss them the most. Is it triggers? Patterns? Human nature? Chemicals in the brain?

It's so exhausting. Is this the way life has to be now?

Falling apart too.

On 9/27/2016 at 9:10 AM, kayc said:

If you're closing on a house, couldn't you rent a spot until you're ready to buy?

They're very strict with pets here and I have no pay stubs because I stopped working to caretaker for my mom.

I feel like I'm serving a penance.

I have to call the lawyer. I'm sitting here frozen in time.

People keep saying push on , you have to keep going, you have no choice. I barely dragged myself out of bed today and can't picture facing all these things without my mother. Oh God, please help me.

No one really understands unless they are going through it or have gone through it.

It's sad but true.

I totaled my car, lost my cat, lost an abusive bf (I GUESS FOR THE BEST) ,calling me everyday just to remind me he never wants to be with me again, he just calls because I ask him too... lost my mother all in basically 2 weeks.

I went from being so happy to the worst mess possible, but all the loss is making me nuts. I can't let it get me. Then I think of the holidays and how alone I will be. 

God, help me keep any sanity I have left.

Ty to all who listen, I know I keep repeating the same thing. I can't help it. It's just all too much.

I'm sorry I don't reply much to other people's posts. I just cant take it anymore. No matter what anyone says or what suggestions they give, I don't want to keep going.

Ty in advance for listening.

1 hour ago, kayc said:

Try not to give concern to those who let you down, but rather find and surround yourself with people who are supportive.  Support groups are a good place to find them, it seems you just had one end, but I think you exchanged contact information with some of them?

I hope you have some family members standing by you.

Absolutely  no family...

Im misplacing everything to top it all off..I'm lucky I can walk.

Incredibly sad.

Told the ex bf off which was very hard to do. As much as I feel I need the familiarity of him I can't have him calling me telling me every day we will never be together.

How mean can some people be?

Incredibly sad.

Told the ex bf off which was very hard to do. As much as I feel I need the familiarity of him I can't have him calling me telling me every day we will never be together.

How mean can some people be?

1 hour ago, BillT said:

I believe that is the crux of the issue of people "not understanding".  They don't understand because they can't understand unless they have been through it, and possibly only if they have been through it recently.  I have lost a sister, a wife , a girlfriend, a father, mother, step father, and now, just eight months ago, my soulmate.  None of the previous losses prepared me in any way for the loss of my soulmate.  I understand that people do not understand.

Love and prayers are with you.

 

Thankyou Bill.

I'm sorry for all your losses..

It was hell dragging myself out of bed today.

Love and prayers be with you as well.

On 11/27/2015 at 10:59 PM, Kayleeann514202 said:

Hi, my name is Kaylee and I'm a new member here. Bear with me, as I've neve navigated a forum before! If I put this in the wrong area, please let me know.

Anyhow, back to the topic of the thread. I've felt abandoned by many, even my family at times. I was bullied since the age of five, which made me feel unworthy of many things. My dad would leave me at home, and although it was only for a few minutes, I am a rather sensitive girl especially when I was only four being left alone. I also have a younger autistic brother, and I felt emotionally abandoned, feeling they cared more about his issues than me.

As I grew older, many problems would begin to manifest in relationships. I had one friend, and whenever she'd hang out with someone else I'd become very clingy, which ironically drove her away over the years. I went into middle school, and I had a friend who was very nice to me and seemed to understand my problems. However, I had much social drama going on [bullying/teasing] and eventually she wanted no part of it. Sick and tired of feeling left, I screamed at her to leave me alone. This also happened with a boy I was friends with, but it's slightly different. He and I were friends, which I was completely comfortable in that situation. However, he liked me (which I knew) and he'd put his arm around me, you know, physical contact. It drove me crazy and I screamed at him the same way as the previous girl. 

I had a really good friend, who I depended on for emotional support. When she cut off all contact and abandoned our relationship, I was devastated

I don't know why I drive everyone out of my life. I have three friends now and the thought of being alone in a whirlwind of drama makes me feel sick. Has anyone ever been through issues like this? 

I've done exactly the same..trying to figure out why I do it. One doctor said because I held in all the bullying and rate as a child, I take it out now on the people I care about the most. .then wind up lonely again.

I've been going though this everyday although I get bits of relief here and there 

It's truly awful

 I miss my mother so much I can hardly move and on top of that I have so many business affairs to tend to. I wake up like a mental patient.

I'm sick of the "you'll get over it, time will pass, take care of you, move on, do what you have to do."

Enough is enough. It's aggravating.

No one knows what this feels like unless they've been through it. I know not everyone handles this well but I truly found out who cared and who didn't and unfortunately  in my case many people didnt. They showed their true colors.

Part of me died with her and I cant, eat,sleep, or get her back, no matter how many people I talk too.

When you lose your everything no words matter. 

The first thing I thought of was please, dear God, don't let me be homeless.

Not one person has offered  me to stay with them for awhile until I find a place.  The closing on the house will be soon and I feel immobilized. Looking for a place to live on top of my mother's recent death, losing my beloved cat, getting into a car accident, breaking up with my bf, I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown. 

I can't seem to pull it together. I don't want to lose my mind. I have my dog to look after. He's like my son. 

I talk to counselors,  take my meds but that  only does so much.  I feel like I'm being buried and can't get out.

8 hours ago, Clematis said:

Thanks! I am already doing better. I wonder how you are doing.  You really seem to be staggering under a big load of losses. Are you still having to move? 

What is the name of your cat? Do you have a picture? I feel really badly for you losing your cat. I can't imagine losing a cat on top of everything else...

I do have pics but can't bear to look at them

 I can't even talk about it..I woke up filled with anxiety..it's too much to bear.

Ty for your regards about the cat...it's horrible.