missing

I think life is getting a little easier. It's been 3 month's 11 days. I don't cry as much as before. When I do it still feels like my Heart is broke and there deep heart wrenching sobs. I still miss him so much . And am ready to go home as soon as GOD calls me. MY life still has no meaning. And I am so very lonely. Thou I can't see myself with anyone else. I do miss the companionship . I hate asking anyone for help. I haven't had to do that in over 30 years. Just the little things that Randy done. Changing a light bulb, Taking the air conditioner out. And Checking the Fluids in the car. I guess I didn't realize all the little thighs he done. maybe I should have appreciated him more. I sure hope he knew that I did. The kids and Grandkid's were over Saturday to watch the Michigan, Michigan State game. ( Go Blue ). They never did that when Randy was Alive WHY????????????????????. I miss you So very much It HURT'S Forever Ruth

Marg I guess I haven't looked at thing's as you have. You are right they are just tool's that he used. They didn't make who he was. And I do have many happy times to remember him. I really like your quote ( I couldn't loss any more of him than I did the day he died ) .

Thank you all for your kind word's. I haven't been on here for awhile. Still trying to find me. Wherever that is. Just had a yard sale this past weekend. Had a lot of Randy's tools to sell. He was in Construction. And had many different things. He would build, roof, car repair. Jack of all trades. There was a lot of household things I put in there also. Was very hard to see his things go. Broke my heart. Feel like I am washing him out of my life. What do I have left??? Things I use to love have No meaning to me anymore. I have a very large collection of Elephant's that I just don't care about. My Mother tried to teach me that THINGS were not important. That PEOPLE were. I get that now. I could sell everything in my house and be just fine. I feel so empty inside and raw. I miss his so much. I keep replaying the last 5 day of his life. Most things I can see so clearly before my eyes.

My husband of 3 days ( We have been together for 28 Yrs.) Flew away from me on July 20th.2016. He had throat cancer. From start to finish was 13 months. I am broke and Raw. miss him so much I can't stand it. I want to be with him so bad.. I pray every day that today will be the day GOD come's to take me home. But every morning I wake up. My life is not mine anymore. It is Grief filled , with tears. Trying to make decisions for one that it has taken two to make. He was always there to pick me up. now I have no one.

New here. Need help getting started.