Agemgem

Today marks one week since she left. Mornings are the worst and most painful. Throughout the day, I've got roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I think it's sinking but mostly I think it's not. There's a time that I would think she's just somewhere in the house, and somehow it brings me a little comfort and with that, I can eat and function a bit. Next thing I knew I'm overwhelmed again with sadness, thinking she's not coming back. I would also ask myself am I foolish to think she's still here when she's not? I cannot even describe/express in words my emotions. One week has passed and I'm scared that I'm going back to zero everytime a week passes by without her. I'm grateful for people like you at this time of sorrow.

Thank you Kayc, I hope I can also be like you one day. I'm not sure when can I accept that she's no longer here with me, but I'm hoping that one day I will have the courage to accept it.

@kayc I just hope she'll visit me in my dreams to let me know she's happy and okay. Did you experience anything like that? Even just a sign that she remembers me will do. I know for human loss, that's possible. I'm just hoping our animals can do that too to ease the pain.

Hi Marty, thanks for sharing the articles it will definitely help us. I’m also grateful to you and your work, most especially to this forum where I can share my grief and will not be judged. I still have a lot of questions running in my mind, and as what @kayc mentioned, we might not get the answers. I was thinking today— Is she missing me now? I know she’s in a better place now, will she always remember me there? I’m not even sure if these questions make sense or if I’m selfish but I badly miss her and makes me wonder if she’s missing me too. Again, thank you all for the time you have given to write your replies.

Hi SteD, I'm so sorry for your loss, hope you are coping when you read this. Everything you said is how I exactly feel right now. You got the right word-- I also felt cheated, my 7yo german shepherd passed so suddenly and unexpectedly on 12/28. I did not imagine that she would be gone to soon, she's her usual happy self that morning and then suddenly collapsed. I cannot understand how she's perfectly fine one moment and gone just like that. Sending hugs to you.

Hi Archie, my heart goes out to you. Sudden death is so hard to accept. That's also what happened to my german shepherd on 12/28. Every single day is a struggle, it's just been 4days but seems years to me that she's gone. It's hard to get up in the morning, getting out of bed is now a task for me. Thank you for sharing your story. Sending hugs to everyone.

Hi Kayc, I'm sorry to hear about your losses, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you losing your husband and Arlie. I value the insights and guidance you provided. The pain is overwhelming, but I get some bits and pieces of your advice. Just knowing that someone like you understands what I'm going through means a lot to me. I have mixed emotions right now-- lost, confused why this happened, guilty what could I have done or what I did not do, so many emotions and thoughts that I don't know how to process them anymore. I know I have to take it just one day at a time, but even so it's still hard to get through the day because she's by my side everyday for almost the whole year (I started working from home due to pandemic). It was very thoughtful of you to include the tips to make through the grief, I very much appreciate it. Here in my country, we don't have pet loss support groups, and my family does not have their own companion animal so I don't think they fully understand my grief. You are correct, our animals gave us unconditional love and loyalty which makes it so hard to accept that they're gone. Thank you for sharing your experience, and your stories about Arlie, he must be really sweet. Somehow your insights touched my heart knowing that a person like you understands my grief. I'm grateful for your advice and for taking the time reading my message. Lots of love.

Frankie, thank you for all your advice I really appreciate it. You are right, this year is so horrible, I never thought my 2020 will have to end without my big girl. Here in my country, there is no pet-loss support groups so it's very hard. It's such a blessing to find thos website and talk to people like you who fully understands the grief. It's also good to know that you're coping up, just like you've said one day at a time. I have her urn and memorabilia in my room, I just haven't arranged a shrine yet so you gave me the idea. Thank you for all your words, and your support through these trying times. Sending hugs to you.

Hi Frankie, hope you're doing better while reading this comment. I read your whole thread, and the advices they offered to you somehow provided me comfort, knowing that there are people who understands our situation. Just lost my 7yr old three days ago. It was a sudden death, never had I imagined this would happen. There are moments that I feel like I'm still in denial, that I would go to my room and lock myself thinking that she's just downstairs waiting for me. And everytime I realizes she's no longer there waiting, I would cry again so much I can feel my heart crushing. I cannot even explain in words how painful it is. I know your thread is not new, but still I'm hoping someone will read this. I'm completely lost.

Hi to all, I just want to share what I've been going through as the grief is too much to handle. My 7yr old dog suddenly died 3days ago, she's her usual happy self that morning, but 2 hours later she just collapsed and died on the spot. I did not ever imagine that this would happen, so I am completely shocked and devastated. She stayed by my side everyday since I started working from home due to lockdown, and while I thought our setup is so perfect, she suddenly left me. I'm starting to question why she was taken away from me. I treat her as one of my children. Worst part is every morning, when I wake up and realizes she's no longer there waiting for me. I'm not sure if my family fully understands what I'm going through right now, since they do not have any companion animal on their own. It seems like I'm in a black hole, too dark, I'm so lost.