Charlie

My heart goes out to you and your pain. I too lost my husband of 46 years, this Feb 22nd would have been our 47th wedding anniversary... I lost him this past Oct, 2004 to Prostate cancer. He too suffered for over a year and his last month on hospice was so emotional for the both of us. He was so afraid to die and I to lose him. I still cry a lot and somtimes out of the blue something will trigger a memory and I will be a mess. I want to tell you it gets better, and somedays it does, but losing someone you have spent most of you life with is a hard fact to understand when they are no longer with us. I have tried to keep busy and have just now taken a part time job to keep my mind occupied so I do not grieve all day, every day. Please hang in there and each day will get a little easier. You will never forget, but the memories will start to be of comfort and not of pain. All of us grieve in our own ways, but we are all the same in the pain we experience. No one knows this feeling until you experience it yourself. Hugs to you, Grace ONLY YOU 7/1/38 10/20/04

Dear Patti, Everytime I hear someone call the name "Charlie" I am reminded that he is gone. I am so sorry for your loss of your Charlie. He was so young. My grown children were very angry at God that he took their father at 66, they thought it wasn't fair, he didn't have more time on earth. Well your Charlie was only 46, that is really very very young. We all think this terrible thing is only happening to us until we read of others and their pain and then we can understand everyones loss is somehow different but the same. I am trying to move slowly on with my life as I know that is what he would have wanted me to do. He would be telling me "move on, be happy, I will be waiting for you" Everytime you think maybe you are getting better something triggers a memory and it is like the day you lost them all over again. I am hoping with time that my memories will bring on happy thoughts and not this feeling of despair. I pray for all of us in our grief. Hugs to you from cyberspace. Love Grace ONLY YOU 7/1/38 -10/20/04

Hi Grammybear and all of us who have lost the love of our life. I lost my wonderful, caring husband of 46 years to cancer this past Oct, 2004. I know and feel your loss. I too do not know how to go on without him in my life. We knew each other since childhood and dated in High School... married at 17 & 19 and also have 4 wonderful children and 13 great grandchildren and 1 great grandchild. We are all so devastated that he is no longer in our lives. It has been almost 3 months and I still cannot realize that I will not ever see him or feel his arms around me ever again. He was a kind, considerate man whom everyone who met him liked him. During his working life he was a firefighter/paramedic and saved many lives in his 35 year career. I take comfort that there are strangers out there that their lives were touched or saved by my husbands actions.. The babies he brought into the world and the lives he saved would not be here for his courage and caring nature. To me and my children he was indeed a hero. I pray for all who feel this emptiness, lonliness, and pain that someday we can heal and go on. Hugs to all of you in your grief. Love Grace ONLY YOU 7/1/38 -10/20/04

Dear Joe, I have that same poem from Hospice of the Valley and read it a lot. It reminds me that I will see him again. My Charlie died of prostate cancer this past Oct, 2004 after a 7 year battle. Hospice of the Valley were wonderful and made his last days as peacfull and comfortable as possible. Like you we were married a long time, 46 years, and I am having a hard time getting over the emptiness now in my life. I know my husband would not of wanted me to be in so much pain and would want me to move on with my life, but sometimes life holds no purpose without the one who shared it with you for all those years. My children are great, they do all they can to make things easier, safer, and better for me, but they will never take the place of their father in my daily journey. Your wife sounds like a great, caring person who only wanted you to have peace with her passing, hold on to that thought and she will know you are honoring her memory. Don't be angry, God has called our loved ones home and I do feel they are in a much better place and are waiting for us, and like the poem says " the joy to see us come." Grace ONLY YOU 7/1/38 -10/20/04

That is how I am feeling, I do not want to start a new year without him. My Charlie left us in Oct, 2004 after 46 wonderful years of marriage. I feel guilty starting a new year that he will not be a part of. My 4 grown children have tried to keep me busy having me over to their homes for the holidays, but now every one is getting back to the normal routine of living and I am left with this new year alone. I want so much to handle this terrible grief and try to get on with my life, but life will never be the same without him. How is it possible for us left behind to go on? The pain sometimes is so unbearable I don't know how to go on. I pray for all of us who are brothers and sisters in our grief for our loved ones. Hugs to all. Grace ONLY YOU 7/1/38 - 10/2-/04

Cherish those memories. I lost the love of my life of 46 years to cancer this past Oct 20th. His last wish was to take our grandson to disneyland. So on Oct 2, 2004 my sweet Charlie, my son and grandson and I drove the 5 hour drive from Phoenix to Disneyland. He was very weak and had to be wheeled around in a wheelchair but he enjoyed watching our grandson have so much fun. We took lots of pictures and look at them every day reflecting on his last great adventure. I miss his terribly and life will never be the same as before but I will hold on to my memories until I am with him again. I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you. May god be with you. Grace

Hi Debbie, I know your pain. I lost my husband on Oct 20th this year and I still cannot believe he is gone. We had 46 years together and 4 children. The days seem so long without him and the nights are unbearable. I go thru the motions of shopping, cleaning,etc, but it all seems so useless because all these things I did for us and now it is just for me. My children have been a great support, but they are grieving too. Hospice was a wonderful support to him during his last days and now they are a great support to me. Let them help you to get thru this terrible pain. I am going to join a group support group here in the valley also. Anything that will help heal the nagging loss I feel. Let them help you. Let the memorial service go forward, it will make you cry but it will also help you to heal. We had a firefighter memorial service for my husband as he was a retired firefighter and he would have been so proud to see how the firefighters honored him. I told him beofre he died that we would be having this service and it made him cry. I think having your husbands service on his birthday would be a geat honor to him. DO IT ! God bless you and keep on rambling, it helps. Grace

Dear Audrey, I feel your loss, we were married 46 years, childhood sweethearts. I lost my husband this past )ct 20, 2004 to prostate cancer. I don't know how I will ever get over this pain. We were sole mates and friends. My husband suffered for a year and the past 5 weeks of his life were very sad for both of us knowing we would have to part. We have 4 grown children who are a blessing and were a great support to me during his illness. They are there for me now, but they need also to get on with their lives and I need to let go. I pray for that your pain will lessen with time as I hope mine will. Be strong. Charlie's Grace

I lost my husband of 46 years on Oct 20, 2004. I do not know how I will go on without him. I came back to an empty home today. My grown children wanted me to stay with them a little longer, but I felt the need to come home. I feel such deep pain and loss, will I ever get over this feeling of emptiness? We had a wonderful life together and I am trying to hold on to that memory. He lost his battle with Prostate cancer and the last few months of his life were very bad for him. I am glad he is over that pain, but I will miss him terribly. Hospice of the Valley were a godsend and I will be forever greatful for everything they did to make his last days as comfortable as they could.