Broken Heart

[Gwenivere]

I was thinking (often a dangerous thing to do when down and out) that Steve and I broke each other's hearts many times during the time we were together.  Sometime actions, sometimes words, sometimes in revenge.  But in all those times we made up, learned from what made us behave that way and did our very best to avoid them ever happening again.  I look back on those times and am impressed we learned and never made these mistakes again.  A true testament to our commitment to learn what love is and not to use it as a weapon.

Now I see I have the biggest heartbreak of all.  He left.  He didn't want to, didn't do this for any of the reasons we lived thru experiencing human frailties and faults as we grew older and wiser.  

Now I have the biggest heartbreak of all and no way to heal it with him.  Obviously we cannot sit down and talk about it.  This man I loved more than life itself broke my heart and I cannot heal it with him.  I wrote my counselor about it and below is what she said.  She is so right.  There is only the person that caused the pain to truly work it out with, but we don't have that now.  I see now because of that this wound will never fully heal.  It would take both of us.  

****************

I do understand about Steve never being able to make it up to you for leaving this final time.  Something everyone is left with…the only one who could really help is the one who hurts you the most by being gone.   What a paradox.  Up to us to heal that open would for ourselves as best we can.  

 

[Brad]

Sadly the wound will never "heal"; best we can hope for is for it to scab up enough to deaden the pain a bit.

 

Of course my thoughts are warped as I am listening to Babs singing "Smile" right now.

[brat#2]

Gwen,

Brad said it perfectly, that is the best we can hope for.  Wish it would scab over soon for all of us.

Hugs

Joyce