AB3 Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Approaching that 2 month mark and I still find myself unable to fully process his death. It makes no sense to me that he is gone.....I know that he is but it's all still so crazy to me. I don't understand why this had to happen....am I being punished for something?? Was it just a part of God's plan?? I wish I had the answers but I dont....I just feel so lost in life...stuck in this very spot unable to move. Sometimes I feel like people look at me and expect me to be further in this grief journey....like I should be back doing the "normal" things people do. But honestly, I don't even know who I am anymore, I look in the mirror and I don't know the woman staring back. I don't have the same passion and drive I once had. Some days I feel like I'm making progress but then I just completely shut down....I just don't know where to go from here. I'm so lost in the love we shared together and I wonder all the time if he is out there somewhere still loving me. Is it possible that we will be together again someday.....I can only hope.... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Oh, how i feel your pain, AB. Please understand that the absolute last thing i would ever consider would be to try to force my beliefs onto someone else. Each of us is entitled to believe in what we want, when we want, as we want. But the only thing that sustains me is the certainty that my wife and i will one day be together again. And the gal i reunite with will be young again with that sparkle in her eyes that used to be there every day until her health began to get the best of us. And she will recogize me when i walk toward her and run to me and let me rest my chin on the top of her head again. There may be some that call all this a silly pipe dream. Some might say i'm delusional. All of us have something that we believe in. Something that sustains us. Mine is what i'm talking about here. Just like everyone else that lost someone near and dear to them, I miss my wife with every cell of this ole body that i'm stuck with. Most days i wonder how i can realistically continue this existance now. I lived while my wife was with me. Now i'm only existing. But when i get sick and tired of putting one foot in front of the other, i make myself remember that what i'm doing now is paying for my ticket to pass through the Pearly Gates. Then i'll be with my Cookie again...FOREVER!!! One foot in front of the other... Darrel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AB3 Posted February 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 47 minutes ago, olemisfit said: Oh, how i feel your pain, AB. Please understand that the absolute last thing i would ever consider would be to try to force my beliefs onto someone else. Each of us is entitled to believe in what we want, when we want, as we want. But the only thing that sustains me is the certainty that my wife and i will one day be together again. And the gal i reunite with will be young again with that sparkle in her eyes that used to be there every day until her health began to get the best of us. And she will recogize me when i walk toward her and run to me and let me rest my chin on the top of her head again. There may be some that call all this a silly pipe dream. Some might say i'm delusional. All of us have something that we believe in. Something that sustains us. Mine is what i'm talking about here. Just like everyone else that lost someone near and dear to them, I miss my wife with every cell of this ole body that i'm stuck with. Most days i wonder how i can realistically continue this existance now. I lived while my wife was with me. Now i'm only existing. But when i get sick and tired of putting one foot in front of the other, i make myself remember that what i'm doing now is paying for my ticket to pass through the Pearly Gates. Then i'll be with my Cookie again...FOREVER!!! One foot in front of the other... Darrel Darrel, believing that I will see my love again and be back in his arms also sustains me. I want to believe that there is another world out there beyond our imagination where our spirits go after we die but sometimes I question it, but It brings me comfort to think that there is life after death and therefore love truly never dies. But boy I do get jealous of all the spirits who get to be with him.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Must be a glitch... Sorry for the previous post saying nothing. Life is hard and living without the one we love is harder. Hugs to you ? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 6, 2017 Report Share Posted February 6, 2017 44 minutes ago, AB3 said: But boy I do get jealous of all the spirits who get to be with him.... By Golly, is this a wee bit of a sense of humor i see slipping off your keyboard? Bully for you!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 6, 2017 Report Share Posted February 6, 2017 16 hours ago, AB3 said: I'm so lost in the love we shared together and I wonder all the time if he is out there somewhere still loving me. Death is of the body, but our love is forever, nothing changed that for you...nothing changed that for him either. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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