Guest Jamie Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Right now, I am kind of in a daze and not quite accepting that in the very near future I will lose my great grandma. She has been my biggest cheerleader in life, and was always there for me. I found out today that they have moved her to hospice care, and that I probably can't make it in time to see her before she goes. It's a 10 hour drive for me to get to her. My husband is just not very good at understanding my sadness right now. When my grandma passed away a little over 9 years ago, I was still a teenager and we lost her suddenly. One of my family memebers (who is now the same one telling me not to make the drive) came up with the smart idea of telling me I needed to be strong for my family. So that is what I did. I comforted my mom, my great grandma and my aunts and uncles. I didn't give myself that chance to grieve because I thought I needed to be strong for them. I didn't cry, I showed nothing. On the inside, I was falling apart. I guess I still haven't really gotten over losing her. And now I'm faced with another loss. My great grandma lived with us for many years. I remember coming home from school and helping her cook, or listening to her tell stories about her life. She taught me so much in life. I know that she is ready to go, and has been for some time now. I am not ready to see her go. It hurts that I can't say goodbye again, but I don't want her to keep suffering. I just don't know how to deal with this. Losing my grandma has a major impact on me to this day. There are certain songs I can't listen to without crying, i can't drive by certain areas, and sometimes out of the blue I'll be reminded of her and start crying. This has been more difficult in some ways simply because I know it's coming. I can't concentrate, I'm not hungry, and all I can think about is her.Sorry for rambling, I just needed to get it out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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