Guest Jamie Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Right now, I am kind of in a daze and not quite accepting that in the very near future I will lose my great grandma. She has been my biggest cheerleader in life, and was always there for me. I found out today that they have moved her to hospice care, and that I probably can't make it in time to see her before she goes. It's a 10 hour drive for me to get to her. My husband is just not very good at understanding my sadness right now. When my grandma passed away a little over 9 years ago, I was still a teenager and we lost her suddenly. One of my family memebers (who is now the same one telling me not to make the drive) came up with the smart idea of telling me I needed to be strong for my family. So that is what I did. I comforted my mom, my great grandma and my aunts and uncles. I didn't give myself that chance to grieve because I thought I needed to be strong for them. I didn't cry, I showed nothing. On the inside, I was falling apart. I guess I still haven't really gotten over losing her. And now I'm faced with another loss. My great grandma lived with us for many years. I remember coming home from school and helping her cook, or listening to her tell stories about her life. She taught me so much in life. I know that she is ready to go, and has been for some time now. I am not ready to see her go. It hurts that I can't say goodbye again, but I don't want her to keep suffering. I just don't know how to deal with this. Losing my grandma has a major impact on me to this day. There are certain songs I can't listen to without crying, i can't drive by certain areas, and sometimes out of the blue I'll be reminded of her and start crying. This has been more difficult in some ways simply because I know it's coming. I can't concentrate, I'm not hungry, and all I can think about is her.Sorry for rambling, I just needed to get it out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Jamie,This is the place you can come to and "ramble", although I didn't think you did. I think you have already realized the most important key to you getting through this. And that is that you have been strong and not allowed yourself to grieve. So from this point on. please allow yourself to grieve...cry, rant, rave, feel sad, feel lost....just feel. Let it come and get it out. and come back here and "ramble on" as long as you want! I'm so sorry about your great grandma. You have my heartfelt sympathies. Hang in there and grieve your heart out this time around,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jamie Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 We lost her early this morning. Right now I'm still kind of numb. I'm at work and trying to get a bunch accomplished, but I can't focus. they are bringing her body back tomorrow. I knew it was coming, but it's still soo hard. I can't wait for my meetings to be over so I can go home and start the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 Jamie,I'm so sorry. Just take it one moment at a time, sweetie.Hugs,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shubom Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 Jaime, Sorry for your loss. So sorry. Like Shell said, take it one moment at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pandorasbox Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 I am so sorry, Jamie. Please don't forget to take care of yourself, during this time.((((HUGS)))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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