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Lost a beloved pet-2 weeks ago :(


Ralphie'smom

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On 5/27/17 I  lost a BELOVED pet , a beautiful long-haired dachshund named Ralphie, who was the sweetest and most loving dog ever!! 

My grief is being exacerbated by the fact he died suddenly of Congestive Heart Failure.  He was doing fine the day before and then had labored breathing on Saturday 5/27, I took him to the emergency room where he received immediate oxygen supplementation, then several hours later, the vet gave us the horrendous news that he is struggling to breathe on his own, his heart was enlarged and fluid in his lungs.  Since he was 14 years old, the emergency room vet spoke to us about euthanasia as his prognosis was not good :(

How do you get over the immense guilt over euthanasia ?  I see articles online about pets living longer with CHF ,and I wonder if my family made the right decision and we could have had more time, if we waited a bit longer.  Maybe he could have rallied after he was on oxygen longer....

 I also feel guilty about not seeing the signs of CHF earlier , I had been so focused on dealing with his arthritis that I must have missed the signs.  I would have changed his diet, and had him checked by a vet earlier to get the necessary meds earlier.   I know these ruminations are futile, but would like to know how others are dealing with it.  I am still very much in the shock , denial phase as he was such a happy dog .

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I am so sorry for your loss, losing a pet is one of the hardest things we can go through, especially those of us who really love our pets as a valued member of the family.  

Your vet would be the best one to answer the questions on if this really was the best possible choice for him.  Apparently they saw something that told them he wasn't going to make it.  I read people who went through everything to save their pet and now feel guilty at the extra pain they experienced because of it, so it seems we're damned if we do, damned if we don't...it's not an easy decision and it doesn't seem the answers are easy either.

Guilt seems to be a common thread in grief, it's almost as if we search and search for a way we could have had a different possible outcome.  And sometimes it really is their time, much as we don't like it.    I have found these articles to be of help and hope it brings you comfort, you're not alone in what you're feeling. 

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf 

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

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I'm so sorry to learn of the death of your beloved Ralphie ~ Clearly you love him with all your heart. When you decide to release him from his suffering, you take that suffering onto yourself, in the form of grief and all the guilt that goes along with that decision. Truly, that is a profound act of love, because you're putting your Ralphie's need ahead of your own need to keep him here with you.

Here is another article that I hope will bring you some peace: Guilt In The Wake of the Euthanasia Decision  

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Thank you kayc and Marty, those words really do give me comfort.  Trying so hard to focus on the good times and not the last day.  I've decided to get pet bereavement counseling as a means to deal with my feelings.  I just hope this deep emotional pain I'm feeling will subside at some point. 

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