I never knew a love like this

[Memma-nem]

16 years you were my best-friend, my pillow, my tissue, my therapist, my cute faced little girl. Your fur so soft. Your paw against my face. My companion that slept on her pillow at my head every night. Who woke me up everyday at 5am. 

I decided yesterday that I was going to take on your pain so you didn't have to feel it anymore. I watched your last breath and paw knead at 237....I had them take you away because  as I gasped for breath, I realized that you weren't coming home.....I didn't sleep last night without you there. No tail thumping against my head. No midnight meow. Or little chirp you'd make when you jumped on the bed.

I'm staring at your spot on the couch, your imprint still there. Your fur is all around me. The left over catnip on the floor....your last meal. I hear you snoring. I took a double take as I mistook the vacuum for you sitting on the floor. No bowl for food. No glass of water on the table. Vacant spot where your litter box used to be. 

You saw every delicate detail of my vulnerabilities and your loyalty never wavered. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. It's been over 26 hours since I kissed your head as you laid it on my arm....  

 

[kayc]

I am so sorry for your loss.  As you tell about your cat, your furry companion, I was struck how unique each one is and how that uniqueness is what we miss so much when they're gone.  You did take on your kitty's pain, I pray it lessens soon and you find some peace and comfort.

 

[Maylissa]

That was so incredibly poetic, so very heart-felt and detailed, it made me cry inside my whole being in empathetic remembrance of the sheer agony of fresh grief and later, the abiding sorrow over the loss of such special feline souls, so special to each of our own worlds. I'm so very sorry for your loss, Memma-nem, I can't even tell you...  Perhaps you're a kindred spirit to me and my own story...18 & nearly 12 years respectively, & counting, over my own beloved furchildrens' absence, which still pain me. How they touch our hearts so deeply in innumerable ways...it is life--altering.