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My Mom died on 11/30/05. She wanted to be cremated and she was. Her memorial service was on December 3rd. After the memorial my Dad took her remains back to their home. My Moms remains have been sitting in the front entry way of their house next to her picture since that day. My Dad was a little unsure what to do with them....he finally made the decision to have her remains buried. Both my Mom and Dad purchased plots many years ago.

The burial of my Mom's remains is tomorrow. Since last Friday I feel like I have been confused all over again. You know, the confusion you have right after you lose a loved one. I am finding myself forgetting things, misplacing things just doing stupid stuff. I feel edgier than normal. In some ways I do not look forward to tomorrow. I know my Dad needs to do this and for us...it does need to be done...but I don't want to cry in front of people all over again. I feel like some will say it's been 5 months now and I shouldn't cry, but just thinking about tomorrow makes my eyes well with tears.

I miss my Mom so...so much. Tomorrow is just drudging up feelings from 5 months ago all over again. I am just feeling sad. :(

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Hi Lori,

I'm sorry that you have to experience the pain of losing your mom again at the burial service tomorrow. Just know that there is no time limit on the grieving process and give yourself permission to cry if you feel like it. No one will think less of you for it.



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Thank you so much for your kind response. I got through today. I am feeling a sense of relief this evening and much less anxious. The ceremony was short and intimate and I was sad. But....I am okay....the way my wonderful Mom would want me to be. Once again, THANK YOU.

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I don't think any of us can set a time frame about when we should be "OK" with a loss of a loved one. I was a complete wreck at my Dad's small funeral (only four people, he wanted a memorial instead) and barely managed to drive home afterwards. You have the right attitude as far as what your Mom would have wanted, though, and that's wonderful. She would be proud of you.


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Thank you so much for your response. I feel less confused since last Wednesday. The burial day was not as bad as the funeral which was in December and just days after her death but there was finality there. No more going to my parents' home and having my Mom's ashes there. My Dad broke my heart when he said that the trip to Phoenix would be their last one together. They live in a small town in the mountains. I can only begin to imagine his loneliness.

Anyway, thank you, I am better. Don't get me wrong...I have my moments but I have sweet...sweet remembrances of my Mom. I keep them close...tell my girls stories about her with them when they were babies or stuff she did when I was a little girl. I am trying to keep her as my stregnth now because she was so strong. I miss her beyond what I can even express.

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