Thoughts For June 19th

[WaltC]

Having passed my first year without Jeannie I am now on my second reading of Martha Hickman’s great little book Healing After Loss. As I mentioned before, this book has been a great help to me in my continuing journey of grief. I highly recommend it to all!

Today’s reading (June 19th) makes an excellent point – one that I can appreciate even more now than when I first read it last year when my grief was so fresh.

She writes:

Though we mourn the passing of that loved one, think of how much poorer our lives would have been had we not inhabited the world together! While we hope for a continuation of life together beyond death, it is no small thing to have known and cherished one another in this spectacular setting – life.

and

I am grateful from the core of my being for the life I have shared with my loved one.

I hope that your day is a good one - filled with only pleasant memories of your loved one.

[Claudia]

Thank you Walt for that wonderful insight. After having lost my first husband almost 13 years ago, I can relate to that totally. But having lost my second husband, whom I loved so much greater and in a much different way, it does not get any easier, the second time around.....

But I definately am a much richer person for having loved this man to the fullest of my being.

It is not any easier though.... I might say it is even more intense this time! I will look forward to healing with time, again . . . .

Thanks!

Claudia

[Guest PattiZ54]

Claudia - We are glad to have you in our group. I am sorry for the loss of both of your husbands....I wonder sometimes whether I could survive the loss again. It's only been 19 months for me and in no way am I looking for anyone at this point. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life; I'm only 51 and hopefully have a lot of years left. At some point and time I would like to find someone to do things with - not necessarily marry again, but atleast a companion to go places with. I think it's a long ways down the road, tho. You having been through this before may be able to give us all some insight and hope for the future.

Welcome - but we are sorry that you had to find us under these circumstances.

Patti

(Charlie 6/10/58-11/16/2004; I love & miss you, Dear!)

[kellymarie]

Walt, Likely because of your suggestion, I am reading Healing after Loss everyday. It helps me survive each day. The night before I read the passage, and the next day whenever I'm having a tough moment, I recall my thought for the day. For some reason, today I just couldn't do it. This morning on the way into work, I saw someone on the side walk that looked like Josh. I was completely shocked to realize Josh is dead. It amazes me that 3+ months later, it can come as a complete shock, like it just happened. So leaving work this evening, I was again shocked to realize Josh is dead. I tried to think to myself, "I am grateful for this life and this love I shared with Josh." But it didn't make me feel the slightest bit better; instead, I just cried. I just really hope what you say is true: That by the second time I read "June 19th" I will be able to be truly grateful from the core of my being for the life that I shared with Josh. It just seems so far away and so exhausting.

[ustwo]

WaltC...as I passed the year mark and Father's Day I counted my blessing to have shared this life with Gene...so much love...so much living...so much happiness. Though I return to an empty house after two weeks, I still feel Gene's presence with me as though I could walk into the picture at my desk and sit beside him. Now I find some sort of peace when I look upon his name etched in marble because mine is below his awaiting a final date. And it will be a joyous day to touch his sweet face again. Happiness and love wait for us on the other side of the veil...Jeannie waits and Gene waits.

Always Gene!

Always!