I miss my dog so much it hurts

[paula__]

Hi everyone, I wanted to share something today. Lately I've been avoiding going out because when I go for a walk I use to pass by the same places I went with my dog (passed away three weeks ago) so today I went out and I did it again, I went to the same places and it hit me again just how much I miss her... I've also been avoiding friends because I'd rather be on my own when I go out but I'm afraid I'm just so sad and trying to avoid my emotions to feel less hurt. I feel this empty loneliness and no purpose most of the time too... I try to tell myself that I can get through this if I do it for her, because she would want me to be okay. I must do it and I need to feel stronger... Maybe some of you have felt this way too? 

Anyway I just felt like talking to someone about it, I wish you're all okay

[Coco Forever]

Hi Paula and sorry for your loss.I know exactly where your coming from as it’s been a month now since I lost my Coco and I still burst into tears when I’m walking on my own everywhere we used to go together.I’ve even started to talk to him on my walks just to comfort myself so your not alone and I’d like to say it’s getting easier the more I go out but it’s not as the pain of his loss is still hard for me to accept I’ll never feel and hold his body ever again,feel him on my bed,getting on and off my bed to get himself comfortable and sliding up to my face to make me get up for his breakfast.Oh how I’ve gone from enjoying life to feeling nothing but emptiness.Sending love.

[kayc]

When Arlie died, a neighbor asked me to walk their Chow (age 12, deaf, going blind)...they thought it would be good for both of us.  Joe is nothing like Arlie, but he loves me and looks forward to our walks and it helped me because it would have been SO HARD to walk alone.  Of course I miss Arlie's ways, I always will, but it helps to know I am helping another dog.  Even after my son brought me Kodie, I make sure to walk Joe as well.  His owner had died and a drug addict took him in but she'd be gone for days on end so her family gave her to my neighbors...who have two kids and one on the way, sheep, two other dogs, chickens, and a garden to take care of, so it helps them too and Joe gets some special attention.  He is the same age my Arlie would have been.

[Coco Forever]

Yes plenty of people have told me get another dog but at this moment in time that is a big no no and I wouldn’t even consider one working full time now but hoping to get a part time job next year (55yrs old) when this virus has let us get back to normal as I’ve stated previously my dogs passing has give me a realisation that even our lives are short on this earth and I certainly don’t intend working full time until I drop and is it normal to think that I’d be betraying my boy even thinking of another dog as I don’t think I could love another one in the same way.

[kayc]

It wouldn't be betrayal but I understand your feelings, I think we all feel those things but feelings aren't fact or even rational always.  My son brought me a puppy before Christmas...I don't know how I'd survive without him right now with this isolation, he keeps me super busy and is someone to love.  He is not my Arlie but he has wormed his way into my heart and created his own spot...Arlie will forever be my soulmate in a dog and I love him more than anything...it's been 9 1/2 months and I still cry, I will always miss him.  Little by little the tears lessen as we begin to adjust to this altered life, I still picture him here in my mind's eye and then it fades as fast as it comes.  I've lost 24 dogs and cats in my life but never one hit me as hard as this....perhaps because I live alone and he really was everything to me...

[Coco Forever]

Love reading your wisdom and advice  Kayc and like you I live alone hence why when darkness comes my house is now soulless.So much so I’ve now got to go sleep with my radio on as my bedroom without the presence of my boy is unbearable.

[kayc]

I know what you mean about soulless, it felt that way when Arlie died too but I at least had Kitty...she was always cantankerous and demanding but she'd been through a lot the first half of her life, adopted/abandoned many times, fending for herself, no love so I understood her and when she did show any love, it meant the world.  It was hard losing them both, I'd already lost their sister, Miss Mocha in 2016.

Kodie keeps me super busy and is always where I am and it is very helpful during the pandemic.  I feel for anyone going through loss right now, it's all the harder.  I'm so sorry...hang in there.