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Need help for my children!

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So 3 years ago I got a knock on the door in the middle of the night. It was the police coming to inform me my husband had died in an RTA. He was only 35. I was 28 we have 3 children 10,5 & 3 (at the time) I explained it beat I could at the time and the 2 youngest weren’t really affected by it at that time. My eldest had counselling and my 5 year old was seen but told he didn’t need any intervention. My youngest has now started asking lots of questions. When I was in counselling they told me to prepare for this as they will ask lots of questions as they grow and their level of understating grows. We have always spoke very openly about daddy as I don’t want them to forget him. I was wondering if anyone can point me in the direction of a good book for my youngest 2 who are now 7 & 9. We have the travel guide to heaven which they liked but as they are getting older the are asking more about death and why he couldn’t be saved rather than what happens after. I have also noticed most  are about animals rather than people. Any help or recommendations would be appreciated. Thanks in advance 🙂

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The books that Kay has suggested are wonderful ~ I have all three in my personal library. I also invite you to read these articles ~ and note the additional resources listed at the base of each:

Using Children's Books to Help with Grief

Helping Grieving Children: A List of Suggested Resources

Tips for Helping Children and Adolescents in Grief

Children Grieve Too, But Not the Same As Adults

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm so sorry for your great loss and the terrible hole that is left in the lives of your children.  I lost my husband to a heart attack when he was 49 and I was 47.  I had to raise the last six without him, as you are.  My youngest was also 3.  The younger ones seemed to have no problems at all at first, which I felt was a mercy.  It was as they got older that they realized they were missing having their Dad in their lives and they, too, wished he was still with us.  As they moved into the teen years, there was a time where they resented me as the only voice in their lives.  That's when I asked God to bring in other mature and godly voices, and He did.  That made a big difference.

I wish I knew a good book to recommend to you for them to read, but I don't have any.  I reminded myself and my children that bad things happen in the world all the time, but we don't think too much about it until it happens to us, and then we want to know "Why?" or "Why me?"  

I can see some of the reasons why I was widowed.  My trust in God was strong before but it was multiplied when He was all I had to hold on to.  I now have empathy in places where I used to have sympathy.  That deeper sense of compassion helps others who are going through tough times.  
I just asked my youngest what she would answer to that question, and she said, "I still don't know the answer to that."  But she trusts in God and she has a strong relationship with Him.  She knows He is there for her no matter what happens.  

I have explained it this way:  Tragedy, pain and suffering come to everyone on some level.  The Bible makes this very clear.  We live in a very broken world.  The Bible is also full of promises that God is there for us in every single situation.  It's one thing to believe that, but it's another to know it.  When we are IN those awful situations, that is when we come to KNOW it. As Job said to God after all of his suffering, "Before, I had heard of you, but now, I SEE you!"

I wish I had a resource I could recommend to you, but I will pray for you and your children today.
God bless you as you raise these souls you've been given.  It's not easy, I know, but it will be worth it all.  You are a hero!!  May you feel God's love over yourself today too.


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