A Tribute To My Love

[kayc]

When George passed away, I didn't care about anything. I was depressed. I didn't care if I ate or not. I didn't care if I lived or not...in fact, I wondered why I had to. The things that once mattered to me no longer did. I had always loved stamping...I've been doing it for about 19 years and I'm good at it. It has always been a release for me, a way of releasing stress and feeling better. George used to love to watch me stamp. He said I made "happy sounds" when I stamped (whistling, humming, etc.)...I wasn't even aware I did until he told me that. He used to stay in the family room with me when I stamped, and he'd whittle time away on the computer, just to be near me. He was always proud of my work and he'd show people or tell people about it. We'd always planned on marketing my stuff when we retired, using the time to travel around to different shops...another way of spending time together...he loved to drive. But after he died, so did my dreams.

But I was lucky...one day my pastor's wife and a friend came up and said they were going to come up every Tuesday evening and have me show them what I know. They weren't fooling me...I knew it wasn't so much about them learning my techniques and mediums as they were getting me out of myself and getting my creative juices flowing because it was healthy for me. And they were right.

Tonight I can't sleep...instead of fighting it, I have been enjoying myself, making cards. I send cards to people who are hurting, who've lost a loved one, who are ill or injured, who suffered a break up, who need encouragement, who are out of work, have a child that is straying, people who have birthdays, anniversaries, or other causes to celebrate. I enjoy uplifting them as much as I do making the cards. I've even sold a few at our local art gallery.

So whatever that thing was that you enjoyed before or that thing is you have always wanted to do, do it for your beloved...every mountain you climb, every picture frame you make, every quilt you finish, every afghan you crochet, every car you restore, every pair of earrings you make, every piece of furniture you build, every bathroom you remodel...every card you make...do it for your loved one. Tell them about it...they'd be proud, they're smiling at you from heaven. They like hearing you make your "happy sounds".

Edited July 7, 2006 by kayc

[dpodesta]

I love what you wrote and it is so true. I love working on the house and fixing things up. I can remember when Karen would complement me on the project when it was complete. As I am fixing up the outside of the house, I stand back and look and think "I wish Karen were here to see it" I know now that she does see it. I once heard a preacher say that our loved ones in Heaven can look down and see our happy times they don't see the bad times only the good. So I know when I am happy working on the house and continuing on with my life that Karen is watching me and smiling.

God Bless

Derek

[LarrysGirl]

KayC, how ironic you posted this message when you did... I'm a decorative painter and was finally pursing my dream the last few years Larry was alive but very sick. He was my cheerleader, my encouragement, my soft place, my best critic and like you, he enjoyed and encouraged me and watched my paintings evolve. He knew this was my dream and he loved me and loved seeing me finally getting recognition. When he died in November I have debated whether to go on with life, actually still do on a daily basis. It doesn't seem the same. But I know he would want me to continue and I'm hoping he is still my biggest cheerleader and I'm hoping he is proud. I want him to know that because he first believed in me, that it was the best gift I've ever been given. I miss him so badly. Why did the one person I shared this with have to die? I just don't understand.

[kayc]

I have had a truly horrible week. My job is finally done with, my boss is going out of business and moving the end of this month and I am working the rest of this month for free...I need the money, but he needs the help and has no money. I have been looking for work for eight weeks and had no bites, even though at every other time in my life I had no problem getting a job when I wanted to. I have been under unbearable stress with a friend in a super crisis, and me...just depressed. One night I couldn't sleep so I got up and made my resin necklaces with can lids...they were selling at a resort for $39 each and I knew I could make them and even better. Instead of just putting junk on them, I created theme designs and I made several...it took hours but it was very therapeutic. Today I took them to the art gallery to sell and I even sold one on the way! When I got there, she had some money for my cards that have sold. I knew George would be so proud! It may not be a lot but it's validation that my work is worth something to someone and it's gas money. It definitely feels good to be doing something creative, something you love, and to dedicate it to the person who was your biggest fan. I don't know why we have to "lose" them, but I know deep inside that we really don't, they are there with us all the time. Tonight I watched a movie, "Now and Forever"...I highly recommend it...in it they say that the other person is a part of you, and you are a part of them...we do not lose the person we love when they die...it can never be lost.