Bad News - Good News

[WaltC]

More words of wisdom from Martha Hickman’s Healing After Loss -

The BAD News:

“Real grief is not healed by time….If time does anything it deepens our grief. The longer we live, the more fully we become aware of who she was for us, and the more intimately we experience what her love meant for us…..Yes, indeed love often makes itself visible in pain” – HENRI NOUWEN

I, among many here no doubt, can attest to the reality of that statement. As time passes I am missing my Jeannie more and more as each day as I realize that she was, and still is, an integral part of my very being.

The GOOD News:

“…this ongoing process also promises that, in a way, loved ones will never leave us, that their lives will continue to nourish and, yes, change us - that they will, indeed, be with us always in the mutual interdependence of love.”

My Thanks to Martha and also to my friends here who have made this journey through the valley of Grief bearable.

Edited July 9, 2006 by WaltC

[spela]

Thank you, Walt. This is so true.

[kayc]

“Real grief is not healed by time….If time does anything it deepens our grief. The longer we live, the more fully we become aware of who she was for us, and the more intimately we experience what her love meant for us…..Yes, indeed love often makes itself visible in pain” – HENRI NOUWEN

That is exactly what I, too, have discovered. The more time goes on, the more I realize just how really right George and I were for each other, how good we were together, how we fit. I was his stabilizing force, the one that brought him down to earth and caused him to think from different angles...and he was my breath of fresh air, the one that made me stop and smell the roses, we were opposites that complemented one another so perfectly. He used to go around straightening up the house, but never in an obtrusive way, he just had a perfect knack for helping without invading...he'd fold the afghans and throw them over the love seat, he'd pick up papers and put dishes away, just tidy up, but never touch things that might intrude upon me...he was just so good about that. And always so fun! I loved his personality, he had so much personality, so full of life! And he appreciated everything so deeply, everything I cooked or did, he loved and appreciated. He fit in to my life so well, and I into his. The very first night he was in my home, he fit in, he didn't seem uncomfortable at all, it was as if he belonged here. He fit into my kids lives, into my family's life, and made his way into the heart of our church family. Even there, he was always helping, picking up the books after sunday school, getting someone their walker or wheelchair, opening a door, greeting someone, making unnoticed people feel special. HE was the special one! In the movie I watched tonight, "Now and Forever", he told her, "I want you to see yourself as I see you", he told her to look into his eyes...well, that is what George and I did. We saw ourselves through the other's eyes, and it was lifechanging. It is amazing what love can do.