Haunted by my baby sister's death

[Cailte50]

Both my sisters died of a genetic illness,by the time I was 17. One of them I knew and the other sister,she was only 4 months old when she died and I have no memory of her at all(I was only 6 when she died).And lately,as I get older,it is her death that haunts me. 

 

There are no photos of her,no discussions,no mention of her(she died in 1976,I know things were different then).

 

I keep crying about this one thing-who was with her when she died.She died in hospital,very ill with bowel problems and I could be wrong about this but I dont know if either of my parents were with her when she passed away. She was in a city hospital and we lived hundreds of miles away and back then,parents werent allowed stay with sick children. My other sister died in the late 80s and it was so different then,I know they were both with her.I can't ask them as they can't talk about her.

 

Do people think that my baby sister had a nurse with her,at the end? I know nurses are angels and I pray someone was comforting her,I would give anything to know who was with her.

 

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[kayc]

It's hard when you don't get the answers you want.  I am very sorry you and your family went through this.  I can only suggest seeing a grief counselor, who may be able to help you come to terms with it, barring the answers you'd like.  I lost my nephew at 3 and niece before she was two, I know it's hard. 

 

[Tootsie.Taffy]

Oh, your pain is palpable and my heart breaks for you! One of the worst things can be the not knowing or the guilt for not being there. At six, the choice would not have been yours to make.

Have you looked online to see whether you can find what babies experience? My understanding is that little ones know something is wrong, but are also given pain killers or baby massage to make the transition as peaceful as possible. While you may never know whether anyone was with your sister, more than likely she was cared for. 

I agree with Kay, perhaps processing through with someone will help you remember something that helps you feel better about her situation in those final days. 

You have my thoughts and ((hugs)). 

[Chocolate]

On 4/6/2021 at 5:41 AM, kayc said:

It's hard when you don't get the answers you want.  I am very sorry you and your family went through this.  I can only suggest seeing a grief counselor, who may be able to help you come to terms with it, barring the answers you'd like.  I lost my nephew at 3 and niece before she was two, I know it's hard. 

 

 

On 4/5/2021 at 4:14 PM, Cailte50 said:

Do people think that my baby sister had a nurse with her,at the end? I know nurses are angels and I pray someone was comforting her,I would give anything to know who was with her.

 

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

 I would think someone was with her constantly.