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21yo son unexpectedly died

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I don’t know how to cope with this. My son Joey had an undiagnosed brain infection. He developed symptoms in Feb of this year & died of a seizure July 14, 2021 😭💔I had Intermittent FMLA & instead of staying home that day to help him, I thought he was okay at home with his dad & brothers & I went to work. Why did I do that????

We had numerous doctor appointments set up over the course of the next week to try to figure out what was actually going on with him. I had 12 days off work starting the next day. . Well that day, Joey wasn’t feeling well & went up to his room. Every single day he had been staying on the couch in the family room with our 2dogs. He died alone 😭His 18yo brother found him hours later on his bedroom floor & called 911… I was still at work & saw police rushing into our home on our Nest camera..  My heart dropped 💔The symptoms my son had it NEVER once occurred to me that he could die. I am just in a state of shock. I had a beautiful family, 4 wonderful sons, a loving husband & now our world is just shattered & I can’t figure out why… Why would my boy get a condition that is rare & lethal? Why has this happened to our family?? I can’t imagine a future without Joey in it. He was loving, caring & was on his way to a very bright future. He was majoring in psychology & wanted to be a counselor to help people. He was the best brother & son… Everyone in our house is suffering…   I feel dead inside & I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do now.  I have 3 other boys & a husband that need me, but I’m just dying inside & don’t see how this is ever going to get any better. 

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Dear one, my heart reaches out to you in your pain, and I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious son Joey. Your loss is so recent and so enormous and so, so hard ~ and I'm sure you're still in a state of shock, just as your other children and your husband must be. As you say, everyone in your home is suffering. While I am pleased that you've found your way here, I hope you also will consider reaching out to some of the many bereavement resources that are "out there" and readily available to help you and your family find a way through this horrible tragedy. You may not be ready to search for such grief support in your community just yet, and that's okay. Maybe a friend or relative would be willing to help you with this. In any event, I want to point you to where you (or they) might begin.

The following article lists links to a vast array of articles, blogs, books, interviews, websites and organizations aimed at parents just like you: Resources for Bereaved Parents.

In the meantime, know that you are most welcome here, and we stand ready to offer you the reliable information, comfort and support you need and deserve. Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings with us, ask us any questions you may have, and know that we will do our best to respond. ❤️

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  • 1 year later...

Five months isn't that long although it sounds like eternity at the time...I remember you, have wondered how you're doing.  How it's going raising your granddaughter...

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It's been a rough 1 1/2 years, but getting by, I think when you were here before we were going through wildfires/smoke, less than 1 mile from the Waldo Lake Fire, glad that's over!
How special her birthday is on Valentine's Day!  I'm so glad you went to Griefshare, they are helpful.   Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

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