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Acceptance


Boro boy

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Hi, I’m writing this for my own gains, I lost a very close friend about a month ago & If I’m honest I’m struggling but I’m familiar with feeling. The emptiness with nothing to fill it. 
I learnt in 87 life isn’t a bowl of cherries when my father died I was 20, it took nearly 15yrs later when my mam passed in 2002. Right then at her funeral I realised I wouldn’t see them again till I passed. 
That’s been the hardest thing for me, acceptance ty. 

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It is.  It helps to know that "acceptance" in Psychological terms is more of a realization of, not a "liking it."  We never like it, it does not feel okay to us, we don't give permission for this to happen, but little by little it begins to seep in that this has happened and that now our relationship with them is demonstrated in a new way.
Continuing Relationships
It helps me to live my life implementing the things I've learned from them.  For me the really hard loss was losing my sweet husband all too soon (we met in our mid 40s and he died right after his 51st birthday), we were supposed to grow old together, instead I'm growing old alone.  Whatever the relationship, parent, spouse, friend, even dog companion, we can remember what we learned from them and demonstrate that in our life.  It also helps to honor them in some way...be it a contribution, something we do, plant, build, something meaningful to us with regards to them.

I am very sorry for your losses.  One loss can seem to bring to the surface those old losses we've lived with...it's important to grieve each loss separately and recognize that one.
Multiple Losses

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I know I think I should of dealt with the loss of my parents along time ago but chose to push all the hurt down. 
I know acceptance is a realisation that your not going to see them until your passing, depending on beliefs. 
I’ve had counselling training 20yrs ago so I understand the stages of grief, still doesn’t make things easier. 
I feel your loss is deep,one thing that has kept me on the sane path is remembering the good happy times. It’s helps me smile inside when times get tough. Ty for the continued support. B

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The stages of grief were written for the dying, not for bereavement guidance so it's no wonder it doesn't make things easier.  Yes, remembering happy moments is helpful, it helps us count the blessings in our life rather than focusing merely on our losses, but it seems to be a continual choice we make as we are confronted with their absence.  (((hugs)))
Stages of Grief and Other Lies That Don't Help Anyone | HuffPost Life

 

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