42 days in or out

[Ztyu123]

It's been  42 days.
I use to micromanage the count.
I don't know if I am counting up to meet you
Or if I am really counting down to my ultimate  breakdown and destruction..

All day I try to shy away from the light to think of you

All evening I sit in our darkened room and think of you 

All night I sit in our darkened room in the silence and think of you. 

All I know is staring at walls now
Staring at walls in empty rooms in an empty house that isn't  home anymore.

I barely eat, but I haven't eaten in 3 days,  haven't had any water, I haven't brushed my teeth even though they're probably ridden with gingivitis, I still smell, I still haven't  bathed, haven't done my hair, haven't done anything but cry and stare at walls.
You are my everything. 
I lost it all. I lost life.
 

[kayc]

Sometimes all there is is but to sit with our pain.