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I feel soo foolish and even more depressed than ever to know that I just brought you  presents that will never be enjoyed by you. .

I feel foolish for still having your untouched bed, toys, coats, blankets, etc... still realizing that no matter how hard I wish, hope and pray that you'll never use those things again. 

I just feel foolish because my heart feels tricked. It's a nightmare that I can never wake up from. 

I just want to be wherever you are now..

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Don't feel foolish.  I still have my Arlie's coat hanging on my chair, his bed behind the couch (he had like a den back there), and his leash and collar, both retired and hanging by the door.  I have his lock of fur, the sympathy cards I got, his medical report, and the Memories I wrote, all by my bedroom door.  It was over a year before I could take the sympathy cards down from my dining room table.  I have his paw print on my refrigerator.  They can stay their forever.  I will never stop loving and missing him.  I still fill his water bowl for his giant doghouse.  As if he's coming back...I want him to know he's still welcome here, he lives on in my heart.  And I have another dog I love with all my heart, but still I mourn my Arlie.  I wish they could have known each other.  My heart hurts because he never rode in the car I have now.

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