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I'm sorry J


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I'm sorry  J
I'm sooo sorry 

Everyday is like three sets of day ones.

The first set , when I watched you wither  away and your health slowly but rapidly and drastically declining   for about 2 months....making promises to you that everything would be  okay.. scrambling to fulfill and eventually failing.

The second set ...

The day of...

The still scrambling and failing 

The third set.

Full of memories,  promises,  and empty beds.

Each night waiting for you to come up the steps with the toy of your choice that night ..that accompanied you to bed. 

 Every night.
Every day..

Theres just darkness,
Numbness, tears, and  

A broken heart 

A broken place

I can't even see this too well to write it out...

My eyes are flooded with water

My hands are full of blood 


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@Ztyu123 I definitely understand your grief. I lost two cats in the last two years to cancer and it was very painful to see the decline and being helpless to do anything. My Marble was only 8 lbs at the end. He was over 11 lbs at his peak. I would have done anything and paid any amount of money to make him better.

I hope things get better for you and do encourage you to find another animal friend. I only lost Marble a few days ago but might adopt another cat this weekend. Not because I don't miss Marble, but because Leon (my other cat) and myself miss him so much and need something to help fill that void. I think of it as doing a good deed in his honor. Rescuing a cat who doesn't have a home and making them happy. It feels weird at first. When I got Leon after my amazing cat Mango died I thought I made a big mistake, but soon leave to love Leon and accept him for the sweet cat that he is.





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Sending love your way.

I am about to go through your day 2 and 3 tomorrow with my almost 13 year old Chiweenie.

He has diabetes and Cushing’s and an upset GI tract because of that. At this very moment clinically he looks ok, but for the last 4 months he has also been slowly but rapidly and drastically declining - and it’s not ever going to get better. It is breaking my heart, because there is nothing but maintenance to be done moving forward. The quality of life for both of us has suffered.

I wanted his input on how and when he would prefer to transition so we have been speaking with an animal communicator to help. Despite hearing from him and receiving multiple confirmations from the universe, I am still wrestling that this is the correct decision, but it feels stronger to end on the highest note possible. I feel this is how he wants me to remember him, not sick and declining.

Our beloveds are, after all, here to bring us joy and love, not sadness. We can honor them so much by reliving all of the happiest and cuddliest and snuggliest and funniest moments we spent with them. They may have to leave us physically for whatever reason, but what will always be is their eternal unconditional love. 💖

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