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Everything posted by GMS

  1. I got a framed picture of Mango a couple of weeks ago which I put in my bedroom and I actually put him as a screensaver on my phone yesterday. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I was actually thinking back at the people and animals I've lost in the past and realized how many of them I don't think of them very often and don't have pictures displayed. Made me feel a little guilty. Of course not to say I forgot about them or didn't love them or wasn't very upset when I lost them either. But every so often we lose someone who we are so connected to it's like a piece of you was
  2. Sorry for your loss. Unfortunately illness can come suddenly. Even if it doesn't there is no real way to prepare yourself for losing someone so close to you. I can definitely relate to the emotions you are going through. I lost my cat Mango almost 2 months ago as well and still miss him every day. He was truly special to me and we had a bond I'm not sure I'll ever have with another pet. The last couple of weeks most days are pretty good, although yesterday I'm not quite sure why but I started thinking about him a lot and got pretty upset. I still have my cat Marble who is 12 and have Leon a k
  3. Hi. Sorry for your loss. Westley was a pretty boy. I think you've already started grieving and definitely the first few days or weeks can be really hard. Our pets are part of our everyday lives. They love us without judgement, give us comfort, consistency and purpose. I think the best thing especially in the beginning is having people around you that understand your grief and you can talk to and explain your feelings. That could be your husband, family, friends, or people like us on the board who can relate to what you are feeling (I lost my cat about 6 weeks ago). I know making the decis
  4. Yes it's amazing the vet specialties they have now. I brought Mango to one oncologist for targeted radiation and another for chemo. He also went to see an eye doctor. When I was a kid I remember our dog got cancer (I think it was in the liver) and they didn't have anything like that. They told my mother to feed him a specialized diet and that was about it. I don't think he lasted long. I got a little over a year of mostly quality time with Mango. I don't think he would have lasted more than a month or two without it. I cherished every day of it. Every night before I go to sleep I say
  5. Sorry for your loss. I know it must have been hard to not be there for him but it was out of your control and your parents were very nice to visit him so often and be there with him. It's hard to say what the right course of treatment was but I think the vets did what they felt wuld give him the best chances.
  6. Sorry for your loss. Your dog was very cute and sounded like he was a great boy. I think most of us can definitely relate to what you wrote. About all the special things you'll miss and about wanting him to live forever. I promise things will get easier. I still miss my Mango every day and it is so surreal to realize he's gone. I hate when people say you'll get over it. I don't think I will ever 'get over it'. I don't think we ever get over it, we just have to learn to live with it and realize we can't stay miserable forever.
  7. I agree Marty. I just got a nice framed picture of Mango that I got online and was looking at Shutterfly today. They have a sale on picture books. I definitely still have moments some days where I think about that night I brought him in. It's a traumatic moment. This might be a weird analogy and I don't know if you remember the 80's movie War Games with Matthew Broderick. But basically at the end of the movie this artificial intelligence computer is about to launch all these nuclear missiles at Russia to 'win the game'. So Matthew Broderick tells it to play Tic Tac Toe which everyone who
  8. After I had to put Mango to sleep I got a nice card signed by a bunch of staff from the animal hospital he went to for chemo (about 9 months). Some of the people who signed the card I could tell really knew who he was. He cried every time I put him in the carrier (since the first day I brought him home!) and they got to know him while he was there. I guess we often don't realize that the people who work there aren't robots without emotions. The oncologist there was super nice and would spend time with me answering all my questions. And the staff was great too. It's good to know they just don't
  9. Cassandra - Sorry for your loss. 21 is a long life for a dog so I'm sure you took great care of her. I think it's very common to have guilt over 'not being there' but the truth is you couldn't have possibly have known when her time was up. The same thing could happen if you were running an errand or in another room watching TV. One thing about animals and I noticed this with my cat Mango when he got real sick a few times is he wouldn't even want to lie with me. He would sit on a chair in the patio when he'd normally be in my bedroom. It actually made me feel pretty sad because I knew he w
  10. Same here. Sorry to hear about your BIL. Cancer sucks.
  11. NRCnKC I'm so very sorry to hear about Callie. She is a beatiful girl. I'm sure you will do what you know is best for her and you can always come here to share your feelings with others who can understand what you are going through. Gregg
  12. Thanks Gracie. Yes they gave me a paw print with the ashes. I encourage you to pick it up. Will it make you cry? Probably. I certainly did. But at the same time I think you will cherish having a little reminder down the road and maybe even bring some closure. Everyone heals at their own pace. Leon is a really nice cat. He loves to play. I was running around the house the other day with him playing hide and go seek. What impressed me even when I picked him was how he didn't mind being picked up. He really really wants Marble to play with him. Hopefully Marble gets better soon and can enjoy
  13. Gving pain meds even if it does hasten death is often the more humane option. That's often what doctors do to dying patients in hospice since unfortunately in this country for some reason we don't give humans the option to end their suffering like we do our animals. So I think you definitely did what was in the best interest by making her feel more comfortable.
  14. I brought Marble to see the oncologist that treated Mango. He is a very good doctor. Anyway Marble almost definitely has pancreatitis. It's always possible that isn't the root cause, but right now that's what he saw on the ultrasound. He ran some more bloodwork so I'll find out in a few days how everything looks. There does seem to be some improvement today and he does seem to be sleeping better so I'm not a nervous wreck like I was before and should be able to sleep tonight myself. On a more somber note I picked up my Mango's ashes today when I was at the animal hospital. Definitely brou
  15. GMS

    Gone too soon.

    I once hit a squirrel who ran out in front of another car next to me. I backed up to make sure it was dead but I felt so guilty. There definitely needs to be a lot more love and caring in this world.
  16. Thanks again everyone. Not too much to update. He's hanging in there and at least doesn't appear to be getting worse. I don't believe the vet is thinking FIP is too likely now but there is still a number of other things it could be. He's still on steroids and I started him on a new antibiotic today. The hope is one of those things helps. There is the possibility of getting types of cancer or other issues but so far nothing definitive. I haven't been sleeping well because he hasn't been sleeping well. Really hoping to see some improvement in the next day or two. Also trying to get in touc
  17. And thank you both for your well wishes.
  18. Thanks. He is eating better right now but I don't know if that's just the appetite stimulant or if he's actually feeling any better. I think he is a bit uncomfortable because he doesn't seem to be able to fall asleep. He goes back to the vet tomorrow for a recheck. The stress is going to kill me.
  19. So Sunday my cat Marble wouldn't eat and then Monday morning he didn't eat so I brought him to the vet yesterday. Most of the bloodwork was fine but his platelets were low and his globulin levels were off (I believe high). The vet said it could be a number of things but one thing he brought up was FIP which would be really bad. Unfortunately they have no easy way to test for FIP. He put Marble on steroids and antibiotics as well as an appetite stimulant. Starting last night he would every so often eat a little chicken or salmon that I gave him but wouldn't eat a lot and is not interested in hi
  20. Unfortunately I don't think most people or animals experience a 'great death' because if we were feeling well enough we wouldn't be ready to die. A friend of my mother died while sitting with his wife watching TV. He was there one second and gone the next. I guess no pain and suffering. Maybe that's a better way to go? I don't think any less traumatic for his wife though. But from what you describe it seems like jaylo did not have a good quality of life and I think you know that. It was the same thing with my cat Mango. I found out his cancer spread to his kidneys and probably into his ce
  21. Yes absolutely. Message me anytime. 🙂
  22. Gracie - Yeah I would definitely recommend meds specifically for the anxiety (after consulting with a doctor of course). It really helped me with my general anxiety as it kind of stops the feedback system which cause the anxiety to get worse and worse as you start thinking about the same thing over and over. It's certainly not a miracle cure and isn't going to stop anxiety altogether for events like losing a loved one. I guess we wouldn't be human if we could do that. And it does tend to take a few weeks to really start to work. If you go that route I hope it helps.
  23. One other thing is I would work with your cat... give her treats when she comes up on the bed or the couch... then work your way up to the lap... it will definitely help in the bonding process and where she was previously she might not have had the option to sit with humans.
  24. FurMama - I completely understand and am definitely going through something similar with my new kitten. He's a wonderful little boy, but I have definitely had some rough days. I think the main thing I have to come to grips with is he will never be Mango. The other day I was lying on my bed watching TV and normally Mango would be coming over to sleep on my lap and it was very soothing. Leon went under the bed to lie down. It got me very emotional. Leon might never do that. But we've only known each other for about a week so relationships take time... even with a pet. But I will learn to love hi
  25. Marty that is definitely spot on. I feel very guilty letting go. I keep looking at pictures and videos and almost try to fool myself that I can bring him back. Lately I've been second guessing myself regarding the euthanasia even though in my head I know it was the right choice. I know someone had brought up medication recently and as someone who's been on anti anxiety meds for a long time now I do think it can help someone if time is not healing fast enough. I know if I weren't on them now I probably wouldn't even be able to function the last week.
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