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I guess your existence was another part of my purgatory and punishment.

I've had a terrible life since birth or before. I was born to suffer, I've been suffering 42 years, day of conception, past birth, currently, and probably forever.

To send you to me and to make you suffer, and end your suffering in such cruelties ripping us apart probably forever...

Is torture....

Is hell...

Is an abomination...

Is war....

Is because of me...

This is what happens when I love.

This is all my fault..

I'm sorry... I'm Soo sorry...
Every single day 24/7

I think of you

I cry

I hide

I hope

Disappear soon.

This is torture and hell

I'm sorry

It's all my fault

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No, it's not your fault, I'm sorry you're feeling that.  :(

Sometimes life is just hard, for some more than others.

My life has been like that, still I try to look for good, no matter how small, nothing too insignificant to count.  It's helped me get through...I see beauty in nature, where I live, even though I live with missing my husband now for 17 years, missing my Arlie and Kitty and Missy Mocha, I am alone and well know it, but I have neighbors, this is a good community.

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