About a Special Person who Lived.

[Sad_Widower]

Today is my wife’s birthday.  I want to share with you all some things about her. 

In all my life, I have never been around a more loving, morally in-tact person, righteous person in the world.  

Listen, I realize people say this about their loved ones, but this is different.  Even when she was alive, people who found out I was her husband (she was a public personality) would tell me “I’ve never met anyone like her. She is the sweetest thing God ever made.” 

When she passed, the funeral director from what I heard, unfortunately became upset due to the number of people who attended.  There was an overflow of people waiting outside the funeral home to pay their respects. To the point we literally wheeled her body outside before the cremation so that those who were not allowed in could say their final goodbyes.  

The entire evening was nothing but people coming up to me (90% I didn’t know) telling me what a special person she was. It got to the point I kept using the same line over and over and over (smiling and saying “This is why I married her”).  

In reality, I was lucky to have her. We just cliqued.  I needed her and vice-versa.  

Unfortunately when we first got married, her parents did something that strained their relationship.  It was nothing criminal, but due to the uniqueness of it, and the fact she was a public persona, the media got a hold of it, and we had multiple opportunities to “hang them out to dry.” Instead (and I’ll never forget this) we were sitting in our living room and I was going over the news organizations and shows requesting comment (some willing to fly us to their location for an interview) and she said “that’s not us.” (Meaning to air dirty laundry).  Of course my wife reconciled with them shortly after, but I think she was embarrassed of them for it and things were never truly the same (but she did love them dearly).  

My point being, she was truly a unique and GENUINE person.  Happily I can sit here and say I always knew this and was always appreciative of it.  I never wanted to be one of these people who after they lost someone say “I never truly appreciated him/her”, because I did. Every day of my life.  

In all our years together, I don’t think we ever went a day without talking even though she spent some time out of town, we were always the most important thing in each other’s lives.  

So she had her faults as all of us do, however I can unequivocally say she is the most liked person I have ever known, and the majority of people who knew her will agree with that assessment.  

With today being her birthday, I really kick myself and struggle with “what can I do for her today?”  I’m not embarrassed to say that I sang her happy birthday this morning (ending with “and many more in my heart”).  I lit a special candle for her, and I prayed. A lot (and will continue this evening). 
However as I close my eyes and ask her to join my heart and convey what she would like…it’s difficult and I cannot say I summon a “response” ad hoc.  I CAN say there are times where I feel her talking to me and definitely take heed in that.  

[Sad_Widower]

One other quick interesting story post-death.   
Honestly,  I do not fault you if you find this hard to believe, as I would be skeptical if I read this myself.  All I can do is tell this did happen, and I get nothing out of fabricating the truth here. 

Her first birthday after her death (which was almost a year after passing), I was in our bedroom and lit a special birthday candle for her.  Please understand that I light “mourning candles” for her all the time.  So by this time 2-3 times weekly I would light a candle so it is the norm.  

After I lit her special birthday candle, I set it down behind me, and sang her happy birthday.  When I turned around, you can imagine what I saw. 

The candle was somehow (blown?) out.  I stood there in a trance for about 2-3 minutes. All I can tell you is all the candles I’ve lit prior and since, NONE of them have gone out.  Isn’t it ironic it went out just as if she was blowing out candles for a wish?

I would love to say that has happened each year since, but it hasn’t.  Still I looked at that as some sort of sign. 

[kayc]

Thank you for sharing this...it does sound like your wife was very special and I'm sure you were both privileged to have one another in each other's lives.  

I'm sorry I wasn't on last night to wish her a happy birthday, but you were and that's what counts...and who knows, maybe she did blow out the candle!

[Capricorn1]

What a lovely tribute to your wife.  Isn't it remarkable to see how many she touched?  Her life purpose was full indeed.

Singing Happy Birthday is beautiful.  On special occasions (birthday, angelversery) I set a place at the table for Stephen and invite him to join me.  I know he does. 💗

The candle.... yes that is her!  Trust in your heart - it's a gift to you.  And thank her for the signs.  She'll send more. 

Hugs,

Shirley

[Boho-Soul]

3 minutes ago, Capricorn1 said:

angelversery

What an amazing way to mark a sad date. Angelversary is now part of my vocabulary, thx