Struggling

[Devastated]

In December 2012, my superhero, my dad, passed away.  It was devastating and I struggled to cope.  Then, two months later my grandfather died and four months later my uncle passed away.  It was a lot to deal with.  In October 2022 my mom's health began to decline, and I moved in with her and was her full-time caregiver.  I was always incredibly thankful to God that I was able to take care of her and be there for her like she deserved.  I worked hard to also not neglect my wife and two children and tried my best.  On April 4, 2023, my mom passed away and I found her dead which was so very, very hard.  Unfortunately, before Thanksgiving my wife of 26 years left me because she said she was not happy and did not love me the way a wife loves a husband.  The hits have been constant, and I struggle to make it from one day to the next.  My 16-year-old son told his older sister that he did not understand how his mom could leave especially after his grandmother passed away.  The loss has been beyond words.  When my mom died I lost over 20 pounds and now have more weight since my wife left.  This is the time where a person could use the comfort of their spouse and for her to leave especially during the holidays is just cruel.  The holidays were so hard because I spent them by myself.  I try to be thankful for what God has blessed me with, but it is overshadowed by the horrendous grief.  I know death is inevitable, but I just wish I had my mom for just another five minutes more.  My mom and dad were everything to me and with them gone, I struggle and wake up every day defeated and devastated.  

[kayc]

I am so sorry.  Like my year before, I lost my sister then favorite cousin (years younger than me) then my favorite aunt and then her husband, my uncle.  Then I found out another uncle died!  

Finding your mom dead must have been very hard.  And to have your wife leave?!  So hard.  My husband died 18 1/2 years ago, it's hard growing old alone, but since I don't date or do the online thing...

My heart goes out to you.

Parent Loss: Continuing Their Song

[MartyT]

My friend, you've suffered so many significant losses ~ the deaths of your father, your grandfather, your uncle and your mother, and then the end of your marriage ~ I certainly can understand how overwhelmed you must feel. You also have two children who are mourning these losses as well, and who may be looking to you, their dad, for comfort and support. All of this adds to the burden you are struggling to carry.

Please know that we are thinking of you and supporting you as you work to find your way through this most difficult journey of grief. I hope you will avail yourself of all the resources that are available to you ~ all of which will serve to convince you that you are not alone.

I'm a firm believer in learning all you can about what is normal in grief, so you'll have a better understanding of what you are thinking and feeling and a better handle on what you might do to manage your own reactions. As you come to know us here, you will find lots of reliable information as well as the support you need and deserve.

To begin, let me point you to some readings that I'm hoping might help. Note that each of these articles lists links to additional related resources:

In Grief: Coping with Multiple Losses

Grief: Understanding The Process

Bereavement: Doing The Work of Grief

Finding GriefSupport That Is Right for You

Supporting Children and Adolescents in Grief

[Devastated]

I truly appreciate everyone's thoughts and the related resources are very helpful.  This is a very confusing time that is hard to understand.  The sting of loss in the ways I have been experienced is unbearable and I am working hard to stay prayerful through these valleys and thank God and praise Him.  I just want the pain and the hits to just stop.

[kayc]

We want that for you as well...enough is enough!  I know how it feels when it just keeps coming.  Praying better days are ahead!