Loss Of Bestfriend, Lover, Campanion, Husband

[sheri]

Hello

Even tho it's been almost 7 months since I lost my husband, I am still so lost and lonely. We spent 46 years together, and were truly best friends.

We RV'd for 6-7 months each year to get out of the heat, now the road seems so empty and unfriendly. I sold the 45'er that we had and have purchased a 30'er. I'm tryng to keep RVing and get out of the heat, but I just cry at almost every place I go, simply knowing he's not with me.

When I'm here, it is so lonely too. It seems when the sun goes down or the weekends come, friends all forget about us.

I was fortunate in that I was able to be his care-giver the last months of his life. He had cancer that spread to the brain. I was able to keep him here at home with me so that he could pass at home. Maybe his passing here in the house is what makes me "run home" when I do go out. It just seems safer here and closer to him.

Some days it seems like I am just waiting to join him, and find release from this awful journey and pain.

As you've guessed by now, this is not a good day for me.

Sheri

[LarrysGirl]

Welcome Sheri, This is a long and lonely process to go thru. My Larry has been gone 8 months and it seems like yesterday. I know you must have some wonderful memories of you both in the RV that you can always cherish. Even around friends and family its just not the same without the one we love. This site is full of wonderful people that are grieving just like you, so please write and share your feelings. It may help you heal alittle. Deborah

[sheri]

Thanks for your kind words Deborah. I do have such wonderful memories, and in fact will taking a 2 week tour on the road by self this coming weekend.

I know Dick would be happy for me and that he will ride shotgun as I travel. Just before he died, he bought me a small puppy. He knew I would need her, so "Missy" and I will venture out and try our soloing.

I feel totally lost but cannot just sit here and cry in my misery. My self confidence is shaken in everything except the knowledge he gave me about RVing. I have to give it a try and if I fail, - well at least I tried.

One thing that threatens me so much is the attention I receive from men who think I should be needing companionship. They mean well, but I am not the least bit interested and in fact am angry at the intrusion of these phone calls and invitations. Altho I tell these two exactly what I feel, they don't get the picture. I think going on the road for awhile might help distance them.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Sheri

[kayc]

Sheri, I know what you mean...shortly after I lost George, I heard from a former boyfriend and he said he just knew I was the one he was meant to spend his life with. I was so mad! He refused to listen when I cried and said I just wanted my husband...he said he'd give me a year...he just didn't get it, I didn't want a year, I didn't want him! I only wanted friendship and people to do things with so I wouldn't sit at home alone and cry all the time, but he couldn't respect that so I cut him loose entirely. On the contrast, George's friend John was there for me from day one and listened and was respectful without wanting anything in return, he was just a friend, and now we are seeing each other...he doesn't try to take George's place and he grants me what I need to grieve, it is his respect that allows it to work. The other night we were watching a movie and a guy was taking his wife's ring off her finger after she died, and I just started bawling, the death all came back to me, and John just stopped the movie and asked if I was okay, and I said no, and he was just there for me, understanding and caring, while I cried it out. He understands that it just hits like that, with no warning. He has really helped me a lot, I feel lucky to have him. And because he loved George too, that's really helped.

Edited July 25, 2006 by kayc

[sheri]

I am so glad to know that there is a way to handle these things, and I'm happy that you found the support and respect that you deserve. These two dummies will get it sooner or later I hope, in the mean time you've given me the courage to tell them to just "hike".

Hope to talk with you when I get back from my travels.

Sherri