STARKISS Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Hi All,I lost my grandmother who I was very close to about twenty two years ago. I was in grade twelve and it was Christmas break. The day before Christmas the family all went to see her but me. I could not make myself go into the hospital and visit her. All I said was she was coming home soon and I would stay with her than. All I remember about that Christmas morning was the phone call that came from the hospital telling my mom she better come because grandma was not doing very well. After mom and her brother came back from the hospital both the families gathered around them. They had told us that she pasted away earlier before they got there. I got very depressed and annoyed with myself for being so selfish and not going to see her. Even after this amount of time I can not seem to get pasted the fact that I was selfish and did not go see one of the most important people in my life. Can anyone give me any suggestions to how I can start to forgive myself for this action I did over twenty two years ago thank yo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Starkiss,I lost my grandmother 19 years ago when I was 16. While I did go see her as much as I could, because of school I was not able to go see her on the last day. That bothered me, however I know that she knew how much I loved her. I am sure that you spent a lot of time with your grandmother in the past, and when you are in your teenage years death just doesn't seem like it is real. Don't blame yourself for something that happened 22 years ago, your grandmother knew how much you loved her and probably wouldn't have known if you were there. You were there in spirit. If it helps, just ask God to help you to get over this, you have a life now that needs you here in the present. In order for you to forgive others for their trespasses, you have to be able to forgive yourself. Through God all things are possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Starkiss,There are so many things I could look back on in my youth and feel guilty about....in fact, I have done that just recently. But when we're young, we are selfish, and it is normal. And death and illness is scary. We tend to try to avoid facing it. So don't feel guilty. As depodesta said, your grandmother knew you loved her. And sometimes people are glad that certain people aren't around, knowing it would be very traumatic for them. So maybe your grandmother might have even been more peaceful that you weren't there at the very end, maybe she would be glad that you were spared that. So don't feel selfish or guilty.Hugs,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted July 31, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Hi dpodesta,Thank you for your kind words and comments, It was hard to talk about my grandmother because I did feel really guilty that I did not go and see her. What you said made alot of sense to me and made me rethink of the situation and what happened that day. Take care and thanks again ShelleyHi Shell,I just want to say that it is so nice to write what I am feeling and too have someone really care and understand what I said. I really want to thank you for your nice comments and understanding of my situation Take care and I will pray for you anytime you need it thanks again Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 Hi All, Today I can honestly say that I have dealt with the death of my grandmother... It took my therapist and I to discuss it over two months of therapy for me to discover that I would have not changed a thing if I had gone to say good bye to her or not... I needed to forgive myself so that i could move forward and I have with the thanks to my therapist and all of you... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 Good for you, Shelley! We're all SO proud of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted May 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 Thanks to Marty and the rest of all of you, for all the encouragement and kindness you have shown me... I would have not made it this far without all of you.. Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted May 17, 2010 Report Share Posted May 17, 2010 hi Shelley, I'm glad for you, sounds like you have taken a huge step, good for you. (((((HUGS))))) niamh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted May 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2010 Thanks Niamh, It took along time to get the guilty feeling to go away, but it has finally left and I have forgiven myself for not going to see her that night... After all God is the only one who would have known she was going to leave us the next day... I love you Grandma.. Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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