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Hard Day..

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We leave on Sunday.. we are travelling to be in attendence at my brother's wedding. Today was hard... I think the following says it all... Just don't have the strength to write anymore than that...

Wishing You Were Here

Today was really difficult

And I could not figure out why

I have so much to be excited about

But from my mouth came only a sigh

It took all day to understand

It took all day to know

But now I finally understand

Why my heart is feeling so low

Excitement is building

But sadness still lurks so strong

The fact that we are to be celebrating

When you’re gone just feels so wrong

I feel like life keeps going

But only because it has no choice

The world just won’t stop turning

And my pain often has no voice

I’m forced to turn with the world

To evolve and continue my days

To smile and laugh and act perfectly fine

To soak up the suns many rays

But all I want to do is let the tears fall

And remember that life is now missing

One of the few things that made life worth living

Oh, how my heart is so tired of reminiscing

It’s not the same without you here

And it never again will be

I suppose all I can do is hope that you’re near

That you’re not missing, that you see

How deeply loved and missed you are

How much we wish that you were near

And in these days of celebration

My heart will merely be wishing you were here

© Jennifer, August 2006

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Hi Jenn,

You are so right it does say it all, I am coming to the one year marks for both my parents and eventhough it was a year ago I still really miss them so very much. Thank you for posting this it is really really good. Take care of yourself and God Bless Shelley

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Beatiful words, and so true. I lost my wife 4 months ago, and it feels like my world stopped while the rest of it kept going. I had family in from out of state for a reunion that we had planned before Karen died, and I decided to keep it going anyway. I am glad I did, but it was hard that she wasn't here to enjoy something she had planned.

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Hi Dipodesta,

I am so glad from your post that you decided to do the family reunion, I am having problems with deciding if I should go to the one our family is having. It was my mom's decision to start it and on her death bed my brother promised to continue it. I am glad that I read your post and perhaps I will take the chance and go to mine. Thank you again Shelley

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What a lovely poem, it summed up a lot of the feelings that grief brings perfectly. I lost my Dad four months ago and miss him so much that it hurts. My family had a birthday celebration this past weekend and it did feel wrong to be celebrating without him there; in fact, it felt so wrong to me that I broke down and had to leave. It's tough to continue living when it seems that every day just blends together and is something that has to be gotten through rather than enjoyed.


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