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One Year Anniversary Of Mother's Death


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Just need to sit down and get my feelings on paper...Tomorrow will be the first year anniversary of my Mother's death. I remember watching the TV all night long in her hospice room trying to stay awake and all that was on was the terrible New Orleans diaster. As they started to replay all of that this last week all the horrible moments of that time in my life came rushing back....and the no sleep at night again started. I thought that I had been doing very well and I guess I am...just a relapse and that is ok...that will happen I know now and again...I only wish that I knew that she was ok and with my Dad....I have thought about going to a medium ..thinking that would ease my mind but than I worry about them just easing my pocket (If you know what I mean). Even thought it was been a year I still haven't gotten back the same interests that I had previously had. There was something that I wanted to do for 20 yrs, retired kinda and went to school to be able to do this particular thing and after she died....I just lost interest...I have been hoping that it would come back but not so far.

Please....everyone say a small prayer for me for tomorrow will be a really rough time....

Funnyface :(

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Thanks to all of you for you prayers and understanding.....I am on my way to the cemetary with flowers and I have a balloon that I want to release with a little message attached....someone here on this site mentioned that may help release some of the pain. I have been weepy all day....

September's Pain.....my heart goes out to you too....I guess we will have our ups and downs...that is part of the grieving process.....Mom's birthday will be sept 28 and will be another hard one......

It is so wonderful that we have this way of expressing ourselves and don't have to worry about being judged...and so much support......I can't tell you how much it helps......

I will make it through this day !!!!!!!!!!!!

Love to all

Funnyface

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Hi FunnyFace,

I first want to say I am sorry for your loss, Second I want to tell you that the first anniversary of your mom's death is probably the worst you will ever go through... I remember my mom's first anniversary as though it was yesterday. I felt sad for most of the day but than I went to a nearby store and bought two balloons saying I miss you on them. I then went to a nearby park and said a peom that I had written and release the balloons... I than went home and I did feel better believe it or not... I hope this helps Take Care and I will keep you in my prayers Shelley

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Shelly:

Thank you for your thoughts and for being here....it's funny because I too bought a balloon and did the same thing.....took it to the cemetery along with flowers and I said a prayer....told my Mom I loved her and really missed her and kissed the balloon and let it go....Unfortunately it didn't make me feel better and I am still sitting around weepy eyed.....I hope you are right and it will get easier as the years go by.....I would give anything just to know that she is ok and with my Dad....

She would not appreciate the state of mind that I am in and would not hesitate to tell me so....but right now that doesn't help......hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight and when I wake up things will be a little better....her birthday is Sept 28 and last year that was worrible and I am hoping that it will be easier this year.....

Will try to go to bed.......

Thanks to everyone for just letting me vent.....

Love Funnyface

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hi funnyface,

i think the balloon idea is wonderful,maybe i will do it for my mums birthday.

my first anniversary of my mum was almost worse than when i first lost her,i think that was because i had started to allow myself to grieve instead of bottling it up but im glad i did start to be able to let out the pain and anger its so destructive not to.

i will be thinking of you on the 28th.

take care

loads of love

amanda

Edited by amanda
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Hi Funnyface,

I am hoping that you were able to have a okay sleep last night and I hope that your day is better than the day before... Take care and It does get better so that is what we have to keep telling ourselves... Take care and I will keep you in my prayers Shelley

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Thanks to all of you.....you won't believe what happened today.....1 day after the anniversery.....I had noticed a funny lump on the side of my dog's neck ( Jake is a cairin terrier like TO TO in the wizard of oz)..anyway this morning I noticed one on the other side and he was due for his shots so called the vet....was told to bring him in this afternoon ( unlike if you call a doctor now a days)......I have known my vet for over 20 yrs and he checked him all over and told me that he was sorry to say but he thinks that Jake has lymphoma ( cancer).....he took a biopsy of the lumps and will let me know in the next 2-3 days....my dog is 10.....he is the most previous little guy and never left my side through all the terrible times with my Mom.....My son is grown so he is our child....my husband is even crying.....the vet said that if that is what's going on he has maybe 3-4 weeks....I guess it is really quick in dogs.....anyway....I just can't believe it....everyone I know has cancer.....seems like and now even my poor little puppy....

Thanks for listening.....and pray I can get through this one too...I guess God never gives us more than we can bear but I sure wish he would lay off me for a while....

Love to all

Funnyface

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Oh funnyface,

I am so sorry. Maybe it will turn out not to be cancer. Try to have positive thoughts, though I know how hard that is. I've been there many times with all the pets I've had over the years. They are like my children too. I'll be wishing the best news for all of you! Keep us posted.

A big hug to you, your husband, and Jake,

Shell

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hi funnyface,

you really are getting a dose of it arent you my love.Im so sorry to hear that your jake maybe sick(i have to say your jake as i have a jake who is a black lab cross),im really hoping it something like fatty tissue lumps that are harmless.

whatever happens your friends will be here for you and yes you can get through this one.

all my thoughts are with you and my fingers are crossed.

loads of love

amanda

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