Missing My Husband

[Lindak]

My husband passed away four weeks ago after a long fight with cancer, life without him is unbearable.

Does this pain ease up?

[kayc]

Lindak,

I am sorry you lost your husband and for all that you have been through. Everyone's grief journey is going to be different, but at first is probably the hardest, you're still in shock and then after a bit, everyone leaves you alone to deal with it...it's hard to say it gets better, but we do adjust somewhat to learning to live with it. It turns eventually from acute pain to a dull heaviness in our hearts, but the pain still comes...for myself, I think I learned not to think too deeply and to shut it away from me somewhat, like arm's length away, so as not to feel that intense pain so much. It is hard, it is the hardest thing you'll ever deal with, but you learn to go on, we don't have a choice. Getting our feelings out helps. Please feel free to read any of our posts and to say whatever you want on here, we want to be here for others...we've been through it. You have plenty of company here.

[LarrysGirl]

LindaK, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I'm sorry there was a long fight with cancer. It also takes it toll on you, the survivor. I can't tell you that the pain gets better, almost eleven months for me. It does change but it is not an easy road. This site can be of tremendous help to you as you will find as time goes on. Those of us ahead of you can share the experiences and maybe you will be encouraged. For me, it was a place of understand and support. Take care, Deborah

[dpodesta]

LindaK

I am sad to hear of your loss, but I am glad you found us here. You will find in time that all of us here will start to feel like family. I lost my wife to a sudden heart attack almost 6 months ago and I can tell you the pain does get easier. However I can also tell you that that thee will be times where it will seem like you are back to the day it happened. The best way I can describe it is like you are climbing a mountain, every so often you lose your grip and fall down. You get up and continue climbing this time getting higher, you fall again but this time not as far down as before. Each time you will get a little farther up out of the despair and each time you fall it won't be as far as the time before.

I remember the first days after Karen passd away, and I remember that feeling of not being able to go on with out her. I also remember focusing on the future and thinking what is my purpose in life now other than to raise my 7 year old son. Since that time I have learned that who knows what is going to happen between now and then, so I just focus on today I will worry about the future when it gets here.

The main thing to remember is this: It will take time to get through this, take it at your own pace don't let anyone tell you that you sould be in a certain place in your grief journey. Each person has their own time frame do what feels right to you.

Keep coming back to this site and feel free to post anything you like, no one judges you here, we are only here to help each other through the difficulties we face as we continue to live life.