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A Bump In The Road


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Hello to all you beautiful people.

When I first posted and read all the messages I felt a comradery with each of you. You can't believe how great I felt reading that someone else felt the same way I did and I was not alone. So I took all the good energy and I was on my way. I didnt write to you any more and I didnt read the posts. I thought I was fine, healed... Silly huh! I went to lunch with an old friend and as we talked the tears came and came and I knew I am still not ok. So here I am again looking to get strong through your thoughts and words and prayers. To add to my world my brothers wife left him and took his 3 kids. Now my brother feels totally lost and alone. My mother for whatever reason never let him grow up and always fixed everything for him, now at 47 he wants me to fix everything for him. I dont really have the strength and he is a mess physically and emotionally. I don't know what to do, we have a spare room but I dont think that is the answer. Keep me in your thoughts.

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Taika,

Welcome back. Boy, just what you needed, huh? I think he needs to grow up and handle this, more or less himself. I know that sounds harsh, but there is a time when we all have to do this! You can offer sympathy and all that, but don't let him take advantage of your warm, caring nature. You need to take care of yourself right now. Hope it all works out ok.

I'm afraid grief takes a long time! But it is perfectly normal to think you're doing ok and then fall apart again! Keep coming back when you need to, we are all here for you.

Hugs,

Shell

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i agree with shell - you have to show understanding & empathy, BUT.... it's a shame your brother is feeling so lost & without direction, but he is an adult, just like you & you have to realize that we ALL are lost sometimes & we 'buck up' and, as my dad would say 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' & just do it. day to day - do it. there is room for discussion, but you need to maintain your own sanity here. and i also agree w/ shell when she says its normal to feel like you've 'gotten over it' and then find yourself feeling like it happened yesterday...i've been that way lately too, and its almost been 3 years. i've experienced a lot of death in my life (on average, one every year since i was 20 & im now 36), but the death of a parent is one to beat all others. i think its the unconditional love factor that plays a part. you know, how people say that only your animals & your parents will love you that way......makes it even harder to move on sometimes. seems to me your brother may have been coddled just a bit & so he is struggling with that added emotion, ya know? anyway, you sound like such a sweet person, & i would hate to see this added emotional stress start to affect you... be there for him, he's your brother....but don't lose site of YOURSELF and what YOU need to make it through day to day...

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