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My Gpa Made The Choice To Die

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He couldve been treated by the dr's. He made the conscious decision to pass on.

I cant wrap my mind around making that decision.

What I do know is that he was a fighter. And he made his own decisions all the time. THis is an 80 yr old guy that after my gma passed, got himself a 'GF' as she put it. She was 15 years younger. He had macular degeneration and could barely see, but played golf 3 times a week.

I guess he wanted to go on his own terms? Sometimes I wonder about the moment he thought it would be better for him to just be done with it all.

He knew his quality of life would go down hill..and after he recovered from this operation, he was going to have to be treated for cancer that was spreading throughout his organs. I just dont know. I said my goodbye and he told me I'll be a good girl and then they loaded him up w more morphine and he passed a week later.

How does one make that kind of decision? It blows me away. Any thoughts?

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My Mom also made the decision to go on her own terms. She decided to not take any treatments. She only lasted two weeks. My only concern was that she knew what would happen if she did not take the treatment. Her reply was "Everybody says I'm going to suffer in the end so I don't see no point in putting my self through extra suffering." We had some good quality time in those two weeks. My Mom was 75. I knew my Mom was in her right mind. We discussed what to do with her things. As long as I knew she knew what the outcome was going to be, I had to live with her decision. I don't know if she would have survived a treatment anyway. We found out later that the cancer had spread through out her whole body. At first, I too had trouble living with what she wanted to do. But I know my Mom wouldn't have wanted to live that way. My Mom lived a very healthy life. She hadn't been in the hospital in 40 years. My baby brother is 40 years old. I miss her sooo much. These holidays sure don't help. Peace to you, Kitty.

Missing my Mom,


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Kitty and Trudy,

Although it's hard to accept that someone does not want to put up a fight and wants to die, I personally think it's one of the bravest things a person can do. It must be one of the hardest decisions anyone ever has to make. Maybe they are also thinking of those left, that they don't want to drag them through all the horror of trying to get well, when they know it's probably for nothing.

Hugs to you both,


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Shell- You are right. Thank you for reminding me of what I had thought before.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up thinking about something that I will never have an answer to. The thought of him being brave and not wanting to put me thruogh his suffering is a much more comfortimg thought.

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