Trudy1964

Annie, Please know that my throughts and prayers are with you. He and your Mom are painfree now. They are living so peacefully together in heaven. I hope these thoughts can help you to find some comfort in the days ahead. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, I hope you and your brother can feel the group hug we are sending you right now. I agree, your SIL's timing stinks. It was this past Friday that I made the decision to give my Mom 1 pint of blood so she come home to pass with us by her side. I remember how heavy that day was. God will get your family through this. He got us through.... Missing my Mom, Trudy

CFH, Let me first say how sorry I am for your loss. In some way or another, we've all experienced some kind of loss here. What your going through is perfectly normal. Right after my Mom died, I couldn't picture her in my mind yet I could picture my grandmother who passed 30 years ago. My counselor told me it's our brains way of kinda going to a safe zone. Let it absorb things a little at a time. Denial, confusion, exhaustion is all part of the journey. Sometimes I knew my Mom was gone. Others, I felt like she was on a vacation. Give yourself time. You have a long road ahead of you. You've come to the right place. We are a family here. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, I so glad you got the answer you were looking for. Right now I am so honored to know you through cyberspace. I know the road ahead will still be a rough one. God helped you with this one - He will continue to help the rest. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Dear Sad, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I lost my Mom not a husband or wife. I'm sure there are differences but I can tell you it has been hell. I have friends who tell me after 10-15 years, there is still such a big whole in their hearts. Loosing someone you love is a life changing event. I don't think I'll ever be the same person I was a year ago. I live 1.5 hours southwest of New Orleans. We were spared the ravages of Katrina. I don't think anyone who had to live through that could not get depressed. I have family living in Marero and Westwego who had damage. Watching them go through the heartache the first few days of not knowing was gut wrentching. They were staying with us while they awaited news. Loosing a house and all your personal belongings is like mourning another part of your life. As far as the medicine, I didn't want to take it at first. But the black tunnel I was traveling in got deeper and deeper. I got to a point where the hardest part of my day was getting out of bed. I almost took a leave from work because I just didn't not want to get out of bed anymore. Also, this site helped me to understand that I wasn't crazy. It let me know that everyone grieves on their own time schedule. There's no right or wrong about sadness. No one should tell you "You should be over it by now", unless they have walked in your shoes. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Shell, As you well know, one day at a time. My Mom has been gone 1 year July 16. I still haven't closed her checking account. I feel like that's another part of her world coming to an end. When I can handle it, I will. Sending you prayers and peace... Missing my Mom, Trudy

Starkiss, Post, post, and post some more. Even though some of us don't reply very often, we read every day. What you guys write is just what we need to help us make it through the day sometimes. Thanks for your thoughts. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Dolores, We are all here for you. We are all on the same journey for different reasons. Don't be too hard on your self. I have learned grieving is a long slow process. It takes a lot of time and energy. You will have many many ups and downs to face. Your new family here is ready to help you through. I don't think your being selfish for wanting more. Your just being a Mom who wanted to watch her son grow up. My Mom was 75 when she left us. After she passed, I would read the obituarys and get angry when people would live to be 85 because I wanted more time with her. We just don't every want to let go. Sean and God will give you the strength to get through this. God Bless. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Delores, My heart goes out to you. I am so very so for your loss. I can not begin to comprehend what it must be like to loose a child. Just remember, he's always with you. He sounds like such a nice guy. I wish I had known him. Peace and prayers to you. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Lorikelly, I said a prayer for you today. Missing my Mom (also), Trudy

Annie, I agree with Derek. You and your brother know your Dad better than anyone else. Trust in your heart and you'll know what to do. I was in the very same place you are right now. Only the first time my Mom looked me in the eye and said "If I have to live this way, I'd rather be dead." I knew she meant it. It was the way she said it that I knew she meant it with every fiber in her being. That day helped me to make every decision I made after that. We are 6 children but it seemed I was the only one who could make a decision. I signed the do-not-rescisitate papers. I decided we would get Hospice and signed all the papers. I had to decide to give her enough blood to get her home. You see, I knew she didn't want to die in the hospital. She wanted to pass in the home she was so proud of with all her children around her. She was given 1 pint of blood just enough so that my brother in Kentucky could make it back to Louisiana. That was Friday. She left us Sunday. I have no regrets for any decisions that I made. I regret more not taking the time to spend more quality time with her when she was here and healthy. That's what makes me cry now. I think if you reread your post you'll find your answer. I'll say an extra prayer that God helps you and your brother find peace with answer. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Traci, First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. Next, thank God for people like you who do what you do. When my Mom was sick, the hospice group was our life line. I can't say enough about how they helped us. We were on auto pilot. They just told us how to function. You guys are really angels on Earth. As far as going back to work, I agree with you on taking it slow. Remember to take care of yourself. Don't go on overload. Do only want you feel like you can handle. Grieving takes so much of your strength. Remember we're here for you. God Bless you. Missing my mom Trudy

Tracey, I almost asked for a leave from work because the hardest part of my work day was getting out of bed. Maybe you should consider seeing a Dr. I, like most people here, had to get on antidepressants for a while. I'm still on them now. When your grief is so strong, you can't think straight. Many of us also saught help from counseling. It was a great help to me. He just let me talk and talk and talk. He had a way of making me want to talk to him. I promise the pain will not always be like it is right now. It gets different. I'm sending you a hug and a special prayer. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Tracey, Like I said before in another post -- do what you can handle; handle only what you can do. I agree, ask for help. Give yourself time. I learned so much from this site. I thought after a few weeks I should be fuctioning normal again. That is when reality sets in. Thanks to the great people at this place who kept telling me "time, it just takes time". Don't be too hard on yourself. I made a booboo like Annie. I ordered 4 boxes of checks for my husband and I just like I've been doing for the past 21 years. Only I forgot to put his hame on them. Thank God he loves me. That was at 6 months. Just take baby steps. Together we'll get through. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Teny, The time frame is different for everyone. My Mom passed July 21, 2007. It's gotten better in a lot of ways. It's a different kind of pain now. Take one moment at a time. Cry when you need to cry. Come here to vent. We've all been through the same thing. Counceling is very good. He'll help you to understand that everything your going through is normal. We're all here for you too. I'm sending a special prayer your way. Missing my Mom, Trudy