My Christmas Weekend

[jc1030]

Hello everyone,

I have to say that I'm kind of relieved that this Christmas weekend is almost over.

On Christmas Eve I visited my dad's grave, which was pretty hard. The cemetary was beautiful though with everyone bringing holiday-colored flowers as well as wreathes and mini-trees. I stayed for a few minutes and then went home to see my mom and aunt (who came to stay with my mom shortly after my dad died).

Staying at home was really hard. I broke down whenever I saw something that belonged to my dad; his study room whith the chair that he always sat on; a bed that he slept on; even a pen or pencil that he used. It's still hard to believe that he's gone. My mom tried to give me some comforting thoughts in that she believed that he heard what we said to him when we were with him at the hospital. I can only hope that was the case. I wonder if next year will be a little better. Guess I'll worry about that when the time comes.

Take care everyone,

Jeff

[Trudy1964]

I'll second that, Jeff. I am also very glad today is over. It was a long hard day. I am emotionaly drained. I was able to keep it together most of the day. But I am exhausted from keeping up the false pretenses.

I also visited my Mother's grave. I know her soul is not there but I felt so guilty leaving her alone in the dreary weather at the cemetary. She hated this kind of weather we had here today. (Wet and Windy)

I just missed her so much today it was even hard to talk about the good memories without tearing up. Well, at least we all survived.

Now if I can only get through my brothers wedding next weekend.

Missing my Mom,

Trudy

[shell]

Trudy,

If you got through Christmas, you'll get through the wedding! I think the more things you have to "get through" the easier it gets, if only from practice, or sometimes a sort of numbness. Anyway, I think we can all heave a collective sigh. Good luck at the wedding.

Hugs,

Shell

[Trudy1964]

Shell,

I know your right. I know my Mom would approve of my brother's choice in a wife. She only met her on her dying bed. I don't think she was coherent enough to really know who she was. But she is really good for my brother. She has really brought out the good in him and made him have dreams about a future again. I think my Mom had a part in pointing him in that direction. I don't think she would have let go if she wouldn't have known he was going to be settled and ok. That's going to make the wedding a little easier to get through.

This site is such a God send. Thanks for being there everyone.

Missing my Mom,

Trudy

[shell]

Trudy,

That's wonderful, that your brother has found someone who will enhance his life and that your mom would approve. Just know that you are representing both you and your mom at the wedding! So try to have a good time.

Hugs,

Shell