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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About jc1030

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  • Birthday 08/22/1970

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  1. @Katelemon, so sorry you're going through this and I feel for you and what you're dealing with. I'm also an only child and I was the only help my mom had during her cancer battle. I understand how physically and emotionally draining it is to have to deal with this especially during the time of the coronavirus. I don't really have much else to add to what everyone else has said other than I agree about looking into the palliative/hospice route. After my mom's final hospital visit I made the painful decision to switch her to hospice care at home. She only lived a few more days afterward
  2. I am so glad I returned to this discussion group to read other people's experiences and to realize I am not alone in what I've dealt with. It's fast approaching two months since my mother died from cancer and I'm still thinking about my time as her caregiver and second-guessing myself. Part of me is still in shock how quickly she deteriorated. All cancers are bad, but I've been told that ovarian cancer is one of the worst mainly because all these years she never felt any pain, so by the time the symptoms started affecting her at the beginning of this year and they found the tumor it wa
  3. Hello @Cinderella, you are absolutely right there is no one way to grieve. Everyone grieves differently. Even one grieves differently at each passing of a loved one. Now that I've lost both parents I sometimes look back at my experiences. When my dad died 14 years ago, I was absolutely inconsolable. Being that he was the first parent to go; that it was a stroke so completely sudden and unexpected, and at least I had my mom there and we could grieve together and she was my support. With my mom's passing about a month and a half ago, I've noticed my grieving has been a little more subdued
  4. Hello @Sara7, reading your post is reminding me of what I'm dealing with right now. My mother died at the end of July, and I have been staying at the family home since I started caring for her during the last months of her life; a house which I hope will become mine once the estate process goes completely through. It's overwhelming right now to be surrounded by photos and memories. One night I decided to look at the old family photo albums for the first time in years and suffice to say I became an emotional mess. Recently I had a locksmith open a cabinet because I couldn't find the key, an
  5. Hi @kayc, yes fortunately I have friends that I have been meeting up with regularly. Even my mom's friends periodically contact me to see how I'm doing. I don't expect them to do it all the time since I realize they have lives of their own, but I hope in the future I can stay in touch with them since they were so thankful for my mom's friendship and tried to help as much as they could during her illness. It's been so sad that COVID-19 created this perfect storm that I couldn't have family or friends around (her friends would bring food for her but would just drop it off to avoid any physica
  6. Hello everyone. It's been quite a while. I'm not new to this discussion board, but it's been a very very long time since I've posted anything. I first joined when my father died back in 2006, and I guess as time went on I started living my life again (not because I didn't want to be here). But now I'm dealing with grief again. At the end of July my 85-year old mom died after a brief battle with ovarian cancer. She was diagnosed at the beginning of the year, and by the time they found the cancer it was already too advanced that the doctors decided surgery was not in her best interest.
  7. Emptyinside, After reading your post, I thought this was exactly what I went through right after my father died. For several months, I too did not find much of anything to be enjoyable, and my immediate thoughts were always how dare I enjoy life when a loved one has died. It's amazing the impact of guilt when it takes over your thought processes. There were still some interests that I continued to do, but it wasn't so much out of enjoyment as it was to take my mind off of things for a brief time. Gradually I began to once again resume doing things out of a bit of enjoyment. Ultimately, a
  8. Elle, At this time I can only tell you about my experience. It's been a little over two years since my father died. It's still a shock, and even though he lived to almost 83 years, it still wasn't enough time. Overall, I have gotten better as the pain has lessened, however the grieving process is still there, and whatever sense of security I had is now gone; that could explain the stress and feelings of uncertainty I experience almost every day. Sometimes I think about a moment in time during the 36 years I had my dad on this earth; some moments give me comfort, some give me moments of sa
  9. It's been a little over two years since my dad passed away. I'm getting better in dealing with my grief, but it can still be a rollercoaster ride at times. Message boards like this helped me in the first months, as well as the support of my friends who have all lost a parent so I was lucky in that sense that they knew exactly what I was going through.
  10. Last year was my first Father's day without him, and I really dreaded it. I was relieved when I got through it. This year I still dread it, although not quite as much as the first time. I'll probably go visit his gravesite early in the morning. So much has changed since his passing I feel like I haven't gotten the chance to breathe. Almost like that was the catalyst for everything that has happened since. I'll get through it once again, and I'll definitely be relieved when all the ads go away for another year. Jeff
  11. Joy, What you're going through is normal. My father's been gone now for more than a year and a half, and I still have my moments where I'm thinking the same thoughts as you. Eventually you will learn to move forward, although that varies with each individual. So take it easy on yourself as you've just started your journey, and best of luck. Jeff
  12. Cindi, What I have learned is that it's not all that unusual for people to not want to hear you after you lose a loved one. It's either because they can't identify since it hasn't happened to them, or it's because they don't want to hear it because it reminds them of their's and their family's eventual mortality. I was lucky when my father died October '06. Most of my friends have lost a parent so I was able to talk to them. Sadly, my situation is likely more the exception to the rule. Take your time with your grief. That's the most important thing. Don't let anyone tell you how long t
  13. Lori, Sounds fascinating. Maybe this might be something I'll someday consider. I guess it's because it still bothers me that my father died so quickly and suddenly and I never had the chance to say goodbye. I saw a program about mediums last weekend which is making be believe more and more in these kind of communications. I'll have to someday look into if there are mediums who live in the Maryland and DC area. Jeff
  14. I wish everyone a better new year, if not necessarily a happy one, especially to those who lost loved ones in 2007. As someone who lost a loved one the previous year and has gone through a year of the loss, I don't have any special revelations other than to let it run its course. Sometimes it'll be painful, sometimes you'll think back to better days, but it's a process, and make sure you go through your own timetable. Nobody, and I mean nobody has the right to tell you that you need to get over it already. Anyway, here's to a better 2008. Jeff
  15. Theresa, It's only been a few weeks. My father's been gone since October of last year, and it's still hard. The grieving process is very exhausting. Over time, you eventually learn to move forward (and I stress move forward, not move on). I never tell someone that they'll get over it. IMO, there's no such thing as getting over the death of a loved one. The first year's the hardest because you have to go through all the firsts. Anyway, I hope things will eventually start to get better for you. Jeff
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