Only Child Posted September 15, 2007 Report Share Posted September 15, 2007 I just lost my Mom last week and buried her on 9/11 after a year and a half of hospitalizations. She was 99 (close to 100) but ambulatory until last April. I refused to send her to a nursing home, caring for her from June 2006 to now at home, partly on hospice and always with private hire aides. Mom's passing was, I believe, some form of congestive heart failure which was difficult to watch the last day, as she tried to breathe and her eyelids drooped. My Aide stayed late due to Mom's condition but left reminding me I needed the rest. I was sleepy, so I slept leaving a friend to watch Mom, and I awakened about an hour later to find Mom had died.I've been able to accept her death. Everyone tells me what I already know - that I did everything for her....Almost. I'm Catholic and have strong beliefs. Mom was seeing something evil weeks before her death towards the foot of her bed. I had a priest annoint her multiple times from last year to as late as Labor Day this year. But I didn't put sacramentals on her that Catholics believe are important at the end out of fear she might choke. I didn't pray for her much - before or even after her death.I've been seeking counseling now - I feel I failed my mother religiously. Please don't laugh. She couldn't help herself, so it was up to me, and I'm tired of people telling me she's an angel in Heaven. These are generic remarks people make too easily. I'm afraid for my Mom's soul, and that's what's made me go out of my mind this week. It's not that she's gone (and oh how I miss her) - but I don't know that she's safe spiritually, and I realize now how little I prayed for her while she was lying in her hospital bed....Feeling like I'm losing my mind at times, I'm herOnly Child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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