Hello Everyone

[jc1030]

It's been a long time since I last posted here. I've been dealing with some majors things in my life that I haven't had the chance to post anything until now, although I lurk once in a while.

The end of next month will be a year since my father died. I can't believe how quickly time has passed. Sometimes life has a way of keeping you busy that you don't really notice it at first, and then it hits you just like that once that date arrives. Having gone through almost a year, have things gotten easier? To be quite honest, not really. Anyone who tells you that you get over it in a year has either not gone through grief, or they're a freak of nature. Not a day goes by that I wish I had more time with him. The prevailing thought in my mind these days is how I wish I had one more week with him, even if I knew it was the last week to spend time with him, to do activities that we hadn't done in years, and to let him know that I loved him, something I didn't say enough when he was alive. I can only say that to him now when I visit the cemetary.

They say things happen to you in life in threes. For me it was my father's death, which still hits me hard although I try to take solace in that he has found peace; unhappiness in my job, which can eventually remedied, although I wish my father were around to talk to him about this; and dealing with a move to a new place. I always thought to myself this year will be better. While it's beginning to look that way, I didn't realize that life was going to give me a kick in the backside as part of the process.

Well, that's it for now. Take care everyone.

Jeff

[karenb]

Hi Jeff....My name's Karen and I lost my husband two years and 2 months ago. I don't know if things comes in three's, but maybe. It's good to begin to know you. I'll bet your moves are going to be good. I'm a firm believer that you don't get over your loss in a year...you just learn to live with it in as much time as it takes for you to just do that, however long. I still get "kicks in the backside" so that's very understandable. We hope to hear from you again and see how you're doing. Hang in there, Jeff.

Your friend, Karen

[dpodesta]

I wouldn't say that you get over it in a year, but for me things did start to get better before the year mark. I wouldn't call it a freak of nature tho.

Love always

Derek

[shell]

Hi Jeff,

I agree with the things coming in threes theory, in fact I'm very superstitious about it! Of course, once the third thing has happened, you can relax...for a little while. I think the main point about grief is that you never get over it. Yes, we learn to "go on" and it eventually, hopefully, becomes less of the main focus of each day, but it will always be there, under the surface.

I hope you find a job you like and that your move gives you a new beginning. Your father will always be with you, and that's how it should be. Hang in there and good luck.

Hugs,

Shell

[jc1030]

Today I went to visit my dad at the cemetary. I left some flowers that my mom was growing. It's hard to believe that it's been a year. I'm sad, and yet there are times I'm more angry than I was when my dad diedl I guess I shouldn't feel angry, but when I think about the things that I wish my dad had done than what actually happened, that's where some of the anger comes from. Just a mix of emotions. Well, my mom and I have survived the first year. Hopefully this is the first step to moving forward with our lives.

[karenb]

Hi jc1030,

I hope your mom and you are doing well enough. The first year is very hard, it has been for me and others here. I feel that anger is a part of this process and many other emotions, as well. You know, you shouldn't feel badly, whatever it is you DO feel, it's so understandable. I've gone through a gamut of feelings and emotions and, after just over two years, am coming to grips with many things. It sure takes time, huh? Come back and let us know how you're doing....there are some extremely very understanding people here.

Your friend, Karen

[shell]

Jeff,

I'm glad to see you back! Like Karen said, ALL emotions are normal and understandable, so don't worry about what you're feeling. I'm glad you and your mom have made it this far, and you will make it the whole way. Things will get "better", so hang in there.

Hugs,

Shell