Jan 44 Posted September 25, 2007 Report Share Posted September 25, 2007 Hi Friends, It's been a while since I've been on. I had a most amazing experience and wanted to share it - perhaps some of you have experienced something similar. Last week was extremely rough. David's birthday was on Tuesday, the 18th, Wednesday the 19th was 5 months since he "left" and Thursday was week #22. I felt so overwhelmed with grief the entire week. In my journal on Thursday night, in desperation, I asked David to "please send me a good dream". Friday night I had a dream wherein I was the one who died and David was the one doing this "Hell journey". David couldn't cope. I was the one who developed coping skills out of necessity (David was in the army for 27 years). In my dream all his old demons came back to haunt him. He was in AA and had been sober for 10 years and after becoming a 5-year survivor of lung cancer he had stopped smoking 3 years ago. In my dream he was drinking, smoking, not eating and his cancer had returned. Our children were not only grieving losing their mother but knew they were also losing their beloved father. I woke up covered in sweat with tears streaming down my face. At that moment I realized that if our Higher Power had to call for one of us, I understood why He/She called David. It sounds so weird, but that realization has given me a bit of peace. I would never want David it suffer by going down this road. He had always said he wouldn't want to live without me. Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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