Feeling Down Today

[Gail_R]

I thought that I was doing not to bad latey. But this moring I woke-up feeling so very sad. Don't know if that the holidays are almost over and everyone is going back to their lives and I have no life to go back too. Because things are so different this year Bruce is not here and I'm feeling like I wish that I was not here also. As I sit here typing and tears are just flowing...oh how I miss him. On the 20th of Jan Bruce will be gone 1 year how can that be..it feels like just yesterday that he was here with me and then on the other hand it feels like he has been gone for ever.I was sitting in my livingroom this morning looking at pictures that we took last christmas and newyears and I cann't believe that my life is so different this year. We are all laughing and smiling in the pictures and if we had only knowing that this year Bruce would not be here for christmas and new years thank god we can not see into the future. Bruce's neice called early this week to say that her and her family would like to come to see me on Sunday and I said sure come but this morning a woke-up and thought....I don't know if I feel like having people over but not sure how to tell her so they will be here this afternoon. Sorry everyone just having myself a little pity party things have got to get better they sure cann't get any worse.. Gail

[karenb]

I know, Gail, it's very hard to keep going. Jack's been gone for 2 years and 5 months now, so it's much better. I just always thank God that I knew and loved this man and so glad he was in my life. I know you have many wonderful memories so try to concentrate on them and do something "nice" for yourself today. Maybe having company would take your mind of things for a little bit and it's very thoughtful of them. Possibly fix a little snack, put on some nice music and give them big hugs. I'm getting ready for church today - at least it's not snowing. I'm stuck when that happens. You take care now and try a little grin at some good memory. Talk to you later.

Your friend, Karen

[suzanne]

Gail

So sorry you are having a bad day. I think several of us here are hosting a pity party lately and that's okay. We're allowed. I believe it is the holidays, cold weather, loneliness and that ever present heartache that we all feel. Maybe company will do you some good. Especially since it is some of Bruce's family. You could share some good memories together. Hope your day improves

Suzanne

[Gail_R]

Thanks Ladies..I think that you are soo right a little company my do me so good. It is also Bruce's favoutie neice that is coming. She was so close to my husband so maybe we can a little laugh and a good cry and then a very nice visit. As I read your posts I decided that I would keep them for supper...think that I will make homemade pizzas she as three little boy's and what boy's donn't like pizza..right lol. I am so glad that I found this site or I should say my daughter found this site for me..she knew that I needed someone to talk that would understand what I was going through... Bruce's daughter is one very smart girl. Doesn't look like her dad for nothing So with that said I had better go and make my dough and have a shower and get dressed. Thanks again for being here for me love and peace to each and everyone of you. Gail

[kayc]

Gail,

How I remember feeling that way. I'm sorry, Gail, it is true, that it feels like others are going back to their lives while you no longer have one. I felt like that too. Now I feel like I have built a life for myself, finally. It is nothing like the one I had "before" and it wasn't my choice to have a new life, but rather, I was thrown there and did the best I could to rebuild. It's taken time, it's hard work, and it's still not 100% what I want it to be, but it's better than the volcanic ashes I was left with after George died...and I'm still working on it.