Parent Starting New Relationship

[Rene]

My mother died in Sept. 2006. She was 73, stricken with Alzheimers. My Dad was her primary caregiver up until a week before she died. I know he has been very lonely and for the last 4 months has been seeing a widow lady. He has insisted on including her in family outings, including family Christmas. I understand not wanting to feel like a third wheel with his friends, but with family? I am not dealing with this very well at all. Has anyone else been dealt this blow? My Dad is a very healthy 76 years old. I thought I would deal with this better should it arise.

[MartyT]

Dear Rene,

Many of our members have struggled with this matter of their surviving parent dating, so you are not alone. You may find the posts in these threads helpful:

Going Too Fast

My Mom Is Moving On Too Fast

Family's Negative Reaction

New Relationships (Note that this particular thread is four pages long.)

[LoriW]

Rene,

I can relate to what your feeling. My Mom died in Nov. 2005 and my Dad started a long distance relationship with a widowed woman in July 2006...by December 2006 they were engaged and they married in August 07.

I had to know that my Dad deserved to be happy again but I definitely felt that once he met her and decided that this was a relationship he wanted to persue...we (his kids)were no longer necessary. Last year, he spent not 1 holiday with any of us....not Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter. It hurt and still does.....

Keep your chin up! Have you met this woman? You may like her and she could possibly be good for your Dad. I just wished that my situation would have worked out that way.

[Midnight]

I hope things work out with your dad.

I know everyone gets lonely every now and then.

I would meet her and see where it goes, she may be a nice person.

My husbands dad on the other hand, went and shacked up with the first person that showed any caring to him.

Now this woman is overbearing and hates it when the kids come to visit. I walk into the house and ask if Dad is awake and she says no leave him alone, so I just push her out of the way and walk into dads room.

I wish he would have never met her.