Guest moparlicious Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Hello all my wonderful and amazing friends, I have not been on here in awhile, I just am having a really rough time!!!! I have moved out of Glendale and back to Phx,(11th ave and Greenway), where all my friends are and away from Hospice and the Hospital (Hospice was a true blessing for our family, but I just could not take it anymore driving by there everyday)On March 25th it would of been my beloved Dan's 42nd birthday( I promised him a fishing trip, with our 3 kids)and Easter is right before that. Then on April 2nd, it would have been our 21st wedding anniversary.I just can't seem to stop crying this month. I miss him so much!!!! I need all of you, more than ever and help me with some advice to get through this!!!!! He was so sick this time last year, we did not get to do anything.A thousand times I wish I could see his face again,hear his voice and touch his lips.I miss holding his hand, and him, completely!!!!! I got rid of most of his clothes,when we moved and found myself apologizing to him so much, I feel so guilty and I do not know why?His jackets still smell of him and I kept some of his other belongings. I have all his tools and all of our camping gear, and most importantly his fishing pole. I can hardly stand to look at it. I am working full time and I did go back to school, but I silently wish for my death and would like to take a bottle of pills and never wake up. I know our children would suffer, but his death seems so senseless(cancer)He is one of Gods angels and his time on earth was done, butI wish mine was done too. Thank you for all listening and letting me vent, I need and appreciate each and everyone of you. Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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