Maylissa Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 (edited) Once again, I've been thrown into shock and grief. Some of you who have been here awhile may remember my 'little' friend, Maggie, whom I'd been feeding since shortly after we lost our beloved Nissa, thinking she was possibly abandoned, and whom I later found out actually lived only 2 doors away from us. I'd always believed Nissa sent her Mommy this new friend, to help ease the shock of being suddenly kidlet-less.(at least I think I'd spoken of her here)Maggie's been my steady friend ever since, visiting me almost daily except for very inclement weather days, and I came to rely upon and look forward to her visits. I'd still give her small snackies (just not very much & only because she'd never leave until I did!), and sometimes we'd play the game of Chase the Crunchie Across the Room, one at a time, so she'd get a bit of exercise and it would seem to her like there was a good amount of snack when there really was only a tiny bit. Maggie never moved very fast at all....unless there was either food or a bird or squirrel involved....and then, she was fast as lightning!Lately, I'd REALLY been appreciating her company and all she's done for me and my psyche, establishing our own little routines together and each of us looking forward to it warming up so we could spend some time outdoors together.....something I especially was so grateful for, since being in our garden, ALONE, is still so very hard for me to do. I'd told Maggie as much just a couple of weeks ago. At the same time, for the first time ever, she'd decided one day to join me on the couch, totally of her own volition w/o ANY cajoling whatsoever on my part. She stretched out with her paws against my legs, beside me, I did some healing work with her (she's taught me so MUCH with this particular form of healing!) and she purred, allowing me to stroke her head....but not TOO much....that's Maggie for you. Poor, nerve-wracked girl (hence her hissy-spitty-ness), with asthma at the very least and as I'D always suspected, a heart condition as well and possibly even thyroid disease.I'd spoken with her 'dad' about this, but I don't think he ever took it seriously to heart, especially considering he's an allopathic doctor and I was suggesting alternative means to address her conditions. We always said that had she been OURS, she likely would have been able to have become much more healthy again....*sigh*.....so my heart went out to her, always. Last Xmas, we'd been given a plate of dainties as well as a lovely card from her family, thanking us for providing Maggie with a "second home" to come to when she needed to. I was rather stunned, not expecting this, but very thankful they'd come to accept Maggie's visits as fine and dandy.Last week, we came home late one night and I soon found her outside our patio door, scratching to be let in. I was alarmed because she's NEVER normally allowed out that late, except at odd times in the summer months. I'd noticed throughout the year and a half that we've been friends that chilly air aggravates her asthma, and she's had to rest, heart absolutely pounding, breathing heavily for quite awhile, if she's been outside too long. Anyway, I immediately let her in, and she lay down right away, trying to breathe, her whole body heaving up and down with the effort. She did ask for some snacks but barely ate any. And then, she willingly leapt up on the couch again, we slipped a cozy blankie under her and I went to work with some healing.....which had her purring, kneading the blankie and looking totally relaxed, although still breathing hard. But w/i minutes, her breathing was improving and suddenly I found myself stroking her head....not just a few short times, but many....and then I leaned over her to plant several kisses on her head, a number of times....and she not only LET me (this was decidedly UN-Maggie-like!) but welcomed them! I was ecstatic! This was a moment I'd been waiting for for all the time I've known her. And yet, I'd also had this terrible thought a few months ago, that Fate might be cruel again, and once I'd finally achieved this new level of affection with her, she'd be taken away somehow from me. But in that moment, I forgot about this horrid thought and was simply enjoying our wonderful, little, shared victory. It was obvious the healing work had done some lovely 'magic.' She also, for the first time ever, didn't hiss at me when I picked her up and even let me give her MORE kisses on her head and neck as I carried her later on. I was thrilled and SO looking forward to a future friendship with this new level of trust and intimacy.I'd already called her home, but no one was answering. We would have gladly kept her overnight, although I was worried about her not getting either her regular food (whatever the heck it WAS), OR her meds........terrible, terrible STEROIDS - all that I was aware they were giving her on a daily basis for the past few months. However, as we peeked outside one last time before bedtime, we saw someone arrive at her home, so my H promptly went over to tell them we had Maggie. I believe it was Maggie's 'dad''s ex-wife, who was calling for her as my H approached. Her 'dad' had apparently been suddenly called back to his office and couldn't find her when he'd left. So goodness knows how long she'd been outside, waiting for ONE of us to let her in!! She was taken back home and her poor condition was mentioned, as I wasn't sure if she'd missed a med. or not.Either the next day or the day after, on the wknd., I'd gotten a very early knock on our door, to find her 'dad's son and either the daughter or his girlfriend there, asking if she was at our place again. They were heading out and wanted to make sure she was in before they left.....yeah. I checked in the back and sure enough, she was catching some rays on our patio....probably not even haven gotten around to clamoring at the door yet, as I'd been right there and hadn't seen her yet. So I let her in the back, but promptly scooped her up before she could even use Nissa's post for a scratch, seeing as her people were waiting....still, no hisses and allowing me to kiss her all the way to the door, where I handed her over, having already explained to her what the rush was. I said to her at the door, "Come back later and we'll VISIT some more!", and kissed her once more.The next week, I knew something was strange and I became worried. I never saw her "dad's car, the other car sat unmoving in the driveway, the car the woman had come in was still parked out front, and later another new car sat across the street for a few days. The blinds were kept drawn, I never saw any lights on.....yes, I was worried. I wondered if something had happened to her 'DAD'! I worried about who was looking after her, had something happened. And of course, no Maggie visits all week. I finally went over....on two separate occasions.....but no one answered the door. I went to check with our in-between neighbour, too, in case SHE knew anything. They were also not in.I tried more remote healing for her that night as well as a communication, as best I could. It gave me chills. The frequencies were palpable for most of the time, even while 'talking' to her. She gave me the sense of feeling very sad, confused and even a bit angry. I tried to press her for more info., but couldn't seem to get anything else clearly. I told her I'd try to find out what had happened.....and as soon as I did that, the palpable energies in my hands stopped dead, everything went cool and felt like a total VOID. I suspected I knew what that meant, but it was too upsetting to dwell upon.So yesterday, as I drove by upon coming home, I saw her 'dad's car out. FINALLY! I dashed over, catnip sprig in hand, and the son opened the door. Finally, I'd find out what the heck had been going ON all week! I immediately asked, "How's Maggie been doing??? I haven't seen her in so LONG!" As soon as I saw his eyes change, I knew........Very shortly after I'd last handed her over at our door, her 'dad' had gone away on vacation and left his son (in his 20's I believe) in charge. And Maggie....poor, dear Maggie.....had suddenly started coughing up blood and gone into respiratory distress and her heart was affected, too. The son was advised (what else is new???!!!) to euthanize her. (understand....out here, most vets don't like to fight for an animal's life, unless people insist &/or already know something about medical possibilities or info.) He made the decision right then and there. They figured that the chill she got was so severe for her that it aggravated her asthma to this severe a point. And instead of trying to save her, she was euthanized.I started crying at their door, while the son, while looking sad, wasn't teary-eyed. He said it had been a really rough "few days", or "couple of days", or whatever short time frame he picked. I said a few words of comfort, he thanked me for "dropping by" and I went home, trying to hold it all in until I was inside. I've been crying ever since, except for the public hearing I HAD to attend last night to help fight a battle over this stupid town trying (once again) to shut down the only no-kill shelter we have in this area. (I suspect we won, at least for now, as this was the first official protest with posters, etc. this town has ever seen....and media coverage) Once home, I couldn't stop, even throughout the MOST-welcome conversation I had with a wonderful friend who'd called to support me after reading my email about Maggie's passing.No, Maggie wasn't MY girl, but I feel she was HALF my girl, or at the very least a really good, steady, dependable and potentially really loving girlfriend.....who picked up in the most welcome way for me, where my beloved Nissa had to leave off. I wasn't ready for a new furchild, so Maggie became the perfect 'solution' for ME, and where I've been at all this time. And now she, too, is just GONE! I'm still constantly checking the patio and garage door for her 1-2 visits/day. Now our different, but so-welcome rituals are gone. The special food I bought for her sits in the cupboard, her water bowl put away never to be brought out again, Nissa's post absolutely useless now, for the first time since SHE left, the catnip plant still growing....for what??? My heart, broken again.....and a link to my own girl, severed. The gift she sent me, gone. It's like losing her all over again, on top of the separate grief for Maggie, my dear friend....the other feline who helped get me through the loss of so MANY friends after I lost my Nissa. I'd JUST thanked her for that, once again, for being more dependable, more reliable, more steady and calming for me than most people have been so far through my sorrow.I'd thought the emptiness without Nissa was bad enough. But with Maggie gone, too......I feel it's going to be even more unbearable. I KNEW how fortunate I was to have her in my life almost every day. So.....although she wasn't 'mine', she was very important to me, and yes, my heart loved her, too, regardless.So Maggie.....this story is in honour of you, all that you gave me, all that I tried to give you. I KNEW you were a real sweetheart deep down, despite how your illness made you feel, so moody at times. And you and I, Maggie, we finally achieved that trust and affection I knew we could. And I know you've taken my advice and met up with my own kids, now know just how sweet my own girl and guy are, and you, them, my bird(s).....you're all together, in spirit, and in my heart. I know because you ALL paid me visits/gave me signs, just this morning. I trust your spirit body is healthy and whole again, slim, trim and ready to roll. Be well, Maggie-Mae, Maggs, my dear one.....your Auntie will try and 'talk' to you again soon....as soon as I can stop crying. I'll be missing you....much more than I ever expected I would, and so much sooner than I imagined, too. You deserved better, dear Maggie. But at least I got to be a part of your life, and I thank you for being in mine....but oh, man....my aching heart....it's gonna be SO extra-lonely around here now, without you. I just can't believe she's gone....and I HATE these all-too-familiar feelings....(I hope to be adding a picture of Maggie once my H gets home to change the file type, since I don't know how) Edited March 19, 2008 by Maylissa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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