MariahC Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 (edited) Hi, I'm new to hovforum.I lost my father 3 weeks ago. He was 67. Two years ago he'd been diagnosed with CLL and a type of non-Hodgkins lymphoma which mainly affected his skin, blood and lymph nodes. His skin became cracked, itchy and flaky requiring him to apply emollient creams all over his body every day. In early 2007 his skin did improve following treatment, so much so that he didn't need to apply the creams so often.However, one day in mid 2007 he became dizzy and fell down at home. His blood cell count had been depleted by the CLL, causing the fainting. He was given blood transfusions and steroids and was discharged from hospital the following month, but was re-admitted in late August 2007. The steroids had made his face swell badly. He was discharged in September, but was re-admitted and sent to the High Dependency Unit (HDU) end of October with an infection and Sepsis. He was then transferred to a specialist hospital and discharged mid December. We were looking forward to having him home for Christmas, but a couple of days before that he became ill again. He complained of a headache - on checking on him I found him lying face down in his room unable to get up. He'd cut his head. Again he was taken into hospital suffering with an infection. My brother and I stayed there with him until 5am Christmas Eve when he was allocated a room. We also spent Christmas day with him at the hospital.He remained in the hospital from then on. He started to get thin and was unable to walk, so after work I was taking him porridge and soups every afternoon until they started feeding him by tube. We continued to visit him every day after work, sometimes twice a day (on weekends). The hospital gave him a treatment, but over time it seemed to worsen his condition. He started getting diarrhoea.One day in late February '08 (while at work) my elder brother (who at 34 - is five years my senior) and I were called by the hospital who asked us to come straight away. We were told that they didn't think he would pull through as he had contracted so many infections. He was hooked up to an ECG and was being given oxygen and morphine. We stayed at the hospital day and night for 6 days until the morning he passed away.His funeral was nearly two weeks ago. I still can't believe he's gone. I'm not coping well at all and am crying every day. My brother and I were very close to our dad as he raised us pretty much on his own as our mother has mental health problems. One minute I think we're going to get through this then I think about all the difficult times, especially the last 4-6 weeks and I break down. I also can't help blaming myself. I wonder if I could have done more or prevented this somehow. My brother is finding it difficult too, but is coping better than I am. Does it get easier? Edited June 30, 2008 by MariahC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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